Surrender Your Sensations

“So, who is going to tell her story first? With Minzy-girl who was playing with David the Giant,” Cherry turned her gaze to me before drinking her beer, “or with you Madam Meredith who is flirting with the Vulture’s vocalist?”

“You’re overacting, Cherry,” Minzy said, taking a handful of the nachos we ordered.

“Hey! You will eat all the chips again!” Cherry slapped Minzy’s arm before pushing the bowl of nachos closer to me so Minzy could not get it. “It’s only the two of us who are allowed to drink alcohol now. You have to help me here and stop going after the chips, you beggar. I can’t finish all the drinks we ordered by myself!”

I laughed at their quarrel. God. I really miss their loud bickerings and frank comments, most especially Cherry.

We were in a bar near the university. I thought we would hang out in a cafe or restaurant because they just said we would just talk. But then, I was surprised when they brought me in here and they ordered beer. I would not drink but Cherry insisted that Minzy needed it even though the latter kept on denying it.

The bar was cozy and quiet. Maybe because it’s too early. There weren’t many people and it wasn’t crowded so the three of us found a good seat – on a couch and at the far end, far from the entrance.

“So, who will tell her story first?” Cherry asked once again, showing how much she wanted to hear what exactly was happening in Minzy’s and mine’s lives.

I looked at Minzy who was staring at the glass of beer in front of her. She’s not listening, is she?

“Let’s have Minzy first, Madam Meredith. It looks like she’s going to get drunk now. Therefore, asking her later would only give us nothing.”

I laughed at what Cherry said but I also agreed. I felt like we should listen to Minzy’s story more than my R-18 rated story. They would be surely shocked if they found out what exactly was my relationship with Rupert. It’s good to have a warm up.

“So, what exactly is going on between you and David the Giant? It’s pretty obvious you also like him. What’s the point of denying it?” and here we go, Cherry, the notorious gossiper, was now starting her interrogation.

Minzy sighed before suddenly messing up her hair. She frowned before suddenly knocking over her beer glass. She let out a deep sigh before looking up at the two of us. Woah. Her problem with David seemed serious.

I don’t get it. David is a nice and ideal guy.

“What’s up with you and David?” I was the one who asked that. It looked like Cherry already knew the answer and she just liked to increase the pressure that Minzy was feeling. What a good friend.

“He said he likes me … Exactly when I was supposed to forget my feelings for him,” Minzy said before gently knocking her forehead with her right fist. I could sense her frustration.

“Ha? Why do you have to forget how you feel about David?” I was surprised that Cherry asked that. So, I guess she didn’t know the whole story.

“He was courting me but he was still taking care of his ex-girlfriend.”

“What?!” Cherry and I exclaimed looking appalled with what Minzy said.

“That’s complete bullshit,” Cherry said, stating like it was the most obvious thing. “Don’t tell me you just let that happen?”

“Cherry is right. What David is doing is wrong. He loves you and he flirts with you but he still talks and takes care of his ex?” I drank the iced tea I ordered. I snorted. “You really have to ask him to stop seeing his ex if he wants to really keep you. He can’t transfer between the two of you. That’s lowkey two-timing.”

“Indeed, Madam Meredith! What if his ex asks to get back together? What will happen to you?” Cherry slammed the table, looking so frustrated. “I’m going to make David bald for his stupidity.”

“I’ll join you,” I said, feeling frustrated as well. Cherry and I sighed before looking at Minzy again. I had to lean across the table to see Minzy’s face and I was stunned when I saw her tearful eyes.

Cherry immediately moved next to Minzy to comfort her.

“Her ex was diagnosed with depression.” Cherry and I were stunned by what Minzy said. We lost the words to say. “She also has stage two cancer.”

I almost let go of the glass of iced tea I was holding. I was stunned for a moment before my hand suddenly shook. I slowly placed the glass on the table because of my shaking hand. Cherry looked at me so I immediately hid my hands under the table.

I heaved a deep sigh before I looked at Minzy. “Cancer?”

She nodded slowly at me. I noticed that Cherry also closed her mouth and leaned back on the sofa she was sitting on. Suddenly, our frustrations disappeared. We really could not hate David’s ex-girlfriend with her condition. Right?

How can you be angry with someone who was suffering like that? And most of all, among other people, I knew exactly how it was like to battle against cancer.

I sighed and leaned back on the sofa I was sitting on. My shoulders slumped as the anger and frustrations I was feeling earlier subsided just like that.

“So you’re okay with your situation with David?” Cherry asked after a few minutes of silence between us.

“It’s not okay with me. Jealousy and envy are really eating me,” Minzy admitted, taking a sip from her refilled glass. “But I can’t criticize David’s ex and I can’t criticize him. You know he’s just like that. He was always nice.”

“He was too nice,” I blurted out and Cherry raised her glass as a sign of agreement. She chugged down the contents of her glass before gasping for breath.

“But I bet it’s too painful, Minzy.” Cherry tapped Minzy’s shoulder. “You’re close to giving up, aren’t you?”

Giving up … That’s all we could do if all options seem to not go with the ending we wished to have. And the ending … the most painful kind of ending was the one you attained after giving up.

Minzy and Cherry had been drinking one after another after we found out about David and his ex. I was just there watching them. I didn’t have the energy to even drink my iced tea.

Instead, my mind wandered about my condition. My mind thought of the things I should do if my results ended up telling me I got my cancer back. Of course, I would burden my father again and the people around me. Cherry and Minzy would cry a river again. Gelo had to see me in the hospital again. My chance to compete for debate might be ruined again.

And Rupert … Should I tell him? Should I let him be with me? Should I burden him too?

Silly. I was not sure if he would want to see me again when he found out I had my cancer again, if my checkup ended up with a bad result. He couldn’t do sex with a sick person. For sure, he would end things between us. But why was there a feeling inside me that I didn’t want us to end?

“It’s your turn now, Meredith.”

I went back from my trance because of what Minzy said. Her face was a bit red now and her eyes looked tired. The smell of alcohol was reeking from her mouth. Unlike Cherry, Minzy has a lower alcohol tolerance. Her speech was staggering already and it seemed like her face was burning because of how red it was.  to be burning with red in the face,

Cherry, on the other hand, was still sitting straight and drinking her beer like water. She was just eyeing me, obviously waiting for what I had to spill.

I gasped with nervousness. I didn’t know how they would react to everything I would tell them. They would not believe I ended up doing those SPG things with Rupert. I won’t go into detail but I have nothing to hide.

I suddenly thought that if my cancer came back at this time, I wouldn’t be able to beat it – it would be nice if I wasn’t the only one who knew that- Rupert and I happened.

And at least, in case Rupert denies me after I die, I have my friends to defend me that I was not hallucinating.

“Prepare the rest of your innocence. You can’t handle what I did.” I shook my head before smiling. I was the most timid among us … But who would have thought I would have the courage to do all those things with Rupert. “Rupert and I don’t have a relationship.”

“What? ‘Don’t fool us,” Minzy groaned, waving her forefinger at me. The woman was already drunk. She’s acting like a kid now.

“You can talk later, Minz. Let Madam Meredith finish her story first.” Cherry was quick to make Minzy sit beside her again after she suddenly stood up after taking the straw of iced tea. She blew the straw and acted like she’s blowing a flute. “You’re God, Minzy. Let the poor straw in peace!

I laughed. “Minzy!”

Minzy kept on blowing the straw even though she was now sitting beside Cherry. The latter, on the other hand, sighed. “It’s really hard when there’s no one to give blow job.”

“Cherry!”

Some looked at our table because of what Cherry said. I widened my eyes at her scandalous mouth and the witch just laughed at me. The number of people in the bar was increasing because it was getting late.

“What? I just feel sorry for the straw. Your friend here is now sucking it so hard,” She laughed at me before taking the straw from Minzy’s mouth. “Please continue what you’re saying. Don’t use this woman who lacks a blow job to change the subject.”

I kept laughing at my two friends. Pure madness. I was later shaken and when Minzy calmed down, I continued my story.

“As I was saying, Rupert and I do not have the ‘formal’ relationship,” I said, quoting the word ‘formal’ through my fingers, “We’re sex buddies. Fuck buddies. Sex partners or whatever you call those sexual relationships of today. ”

Minzy was stunned by what I said as Cherry spat the wine she was drinking back into her glass. I winced at Cherry’s reaction. I was the one who even handed her the tissue.

“What the hell?” Minzy groggily responded. I thought she was drunk and out of her mind already but then she was reacting like how I expected her to be. “So, what are you two doing when you’re together ?!”

“Goodness, Meredith. We didn’t know you’re into those kinds of hot and sexy things and activities.” Cherry suddenly transferred to my side and then she cupped my face using her both hands. “You’re really amazing! How long has that been? And how did you end up with that set-up? You just came in and got an agreement right away?!”

“Cherry, your mouth!”

“And your mouth is full of blowjobs,” Cherry replied as I scolded her.

Minzy laughed at Cherry’s remark. I, on the other hand, was so flustered that I had to cover my face. “The two of you are crazy,” I murmured.

Cherry removed my hands covering my face before bringing her face closer to mine. “You’re more crazy than the two of us. So crazy.”

“Cherry is … Cherry is right.” Minzy drinks all the remaining beer on her glass and drops it on the table. “Tell us everything. From the start … Until …”

“Until you reach your climax,” Cherry ended Minzy’s statement and I shrieked in embarrassment.

“Lower your voices!” I scolded them again before kicking Cherry. “My God. Your voices even beat the speakers of this bar!”

“Tell me, Madam Meredith. All the details. You won’t miss anything!”

And so, I told them everything. From Rupert’s and I’s first meeting- that 12 midnight kiss- until we ended up agreeing to our peculiar sexual set-up. I told them how Rupert was … Not the details on how he did me inside the bedroom- but how gentleman and how caring he was in treating me. I even mentioned to them the day Bailey confessed to me and how I met Gelo.

Then, I almost told them about my latest concern, “Then last night, I felt something-” I bit my bottom lip to stop myself.

“What did you feel?” Cherry asked, she was holding my hand eagerly.

I smiled before giggling, “I felt important. Rupert was persistent in saying his sorry after all the bad things he said to me. He was really persistent,” I was glad I managed to divert the topic just fine. “Can you believe it? Because I was not talking to him, he waited in front of my dorm room all night so he could talk to me right away, first thing in the morning.”

Minzy giggled and Cherry excitedly tapped the table with her hands.

“Are you sure that Rupert is just sex? Girl, he’s doing all the things a boyfriend should do.”Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

Minzy reached for my hand on top of the table and tapped it softly. “I think he likes you … Ah … Nope … M-Maybe he was falling … Meredith Kaye, I bet … He is falling on you.”

I blinked and my heart beat faster at that possibility. Could it be? But …

“Maybe you’re the only one who thinks you only have a sexual relationship because you don’t want to have a serious relationship. But maybe for that Rupert, he really thinks of you more than being his playmate in bed,” Cherry insisted, her both hands clasped each other as she sighed dreamily. “Madam Meredith, I have a strong feeling. It’s impossible to not catch feelings while having sex again and again. If he was only after the sex, then he could have stopped after a few times. Maybe, at first, it was really just for sex. But things can change as time progresses.”

Was it wrong to be hopeful? I don’t know why I want to hope that Rupert might actually like me even though I know Ava still has his heart. Silly me.

Maybe … Maybe I was the one falling for him so I was being hopeful like this.