15
I woke the next morning to the smell of breakfast, and I tossed on my robe and headed to the kitchen. It wasn’t unusual for Katie to make some eggs for me in the morning, but today was a little different.
Katie absolutely looked like crap. Her eyes were swollen and red, her face pale. She didn’t look like she’d slept more than an hour or so all night. I went to her and wrapped my arms around her, and she started in with the crying again. I turned off the burner on the stove and took her back to her bedroom, where I lay with her and cuddled her like I had the day before.
“I went to sleep so easily,” she told me, “but I woke up really quick, and it all hit me again. I think I cried all night.”
“Shh, Katie-Bear, it’s going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it will be.”
“I love you so much, Daddy. Thanks for taking such good care of me.”
“I love you too.”
Katie pressed herself to me more tightly, and threw her legs over mine. When she did it, her firm young thigh brushed my cock, and I felt it begin to thicken. I hoped she didn’t notice. I silently willed myself to be less of an asshole, and more of a good dad.
“Mom says you don’t love anyone.” Katie said quietly, “she says you don’t know how.”
“Your mom shouldn’t be telling you things like that.”
“Did you love her?”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.
“I… no. I’m sorry, Katie. I don’t… I don’t feel things very easily. I just don’t care about most people. I never really loved your mother. That’s why she left.”
“Did you cheat on her?”
“No.”
“Did she cheat on you?”
“Probably. I can’t really blame her if she did. I didn’t give her what she needed.”
“You mean sex? I know you guys used to have sex, I could hear you guys.”
I laughed and kissed my little girl’s head. “No, I didn’t mean that. We had a good sex life –”
“I know it, I used to think you were hurting her because she screamed so loud when she… I snuck in one time to see if I could save her, and I saw what you were doing.”
“You did?”
“Only when I was really little. Then I got all excited because I thought you were making me a baby sister.”
This time both of us laughed. It seemed so long ago, me being married. It had been such a ridiculous thing for me to do. I hadn’t been in love; I had never been in love. I thought for a while that if I went through the motions of marriage, love would grow. Later on I learned that the problem was inside my own shriveled heart, and that no wedding band was going to change it.”
“Daddy… do you really love me?”
“Oh yes, baby. I love you with all my heart. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved.”
Katie lay there and absorbed that for a moment. “Do you think maybe Tom is like you? That he can’t love anyone?”
“I don’t know, baby. I never really talked to him that much. I know he’s an idiot for giving you up, but young guys are like that, they do stupid things.”
“It hurts so much. I feel like I can’t breathe. I guess you wouldn’t understand.”
I wanted to object, but she was right. I’d never had my heart broken because I’d never been with a woman I cared about. They went in and out of my life. Some were nice to spend time with, they’d all been attractive, but they were never anything more than sex partners.
“My heart would break if anything ever happened to you.” I said, finally. That got me a kiss on the cheek.
“Maybe you’ll fall in love someday,” she said, “but not if you’re lucky.”
After a few minutes, I got up and finished breakfast, and we ate together. Afterward, Katie took a long nap. It was in the afternoon by the time she woke up. It was too late to do much by then. I took her to a movie, then shopping for a nice dress so I could take her out for dinner. My Katie-Bear picked out a tight little black number than only came down to mid thigh, and some heels to match.
“Do you like, Daddy?” She said at the store. The sales lady beamed at me as she’d helped to pick the outfit for her.
“You’re stunning, baby.”
Katie went to a mirror to check things out for herself, and the sales lady came over to my shoulder. “Your daughter is gorgeous.” She said.
“Yes,” was all I could manage.
“You’re very lucky. So is she, to have such a handsome father.”
I turned to look the sales woman, but she was already walking toward the register. We paid the bill and left for dinner.
**
“Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going on dates with guys,” Katie said, savoring the last of her filet mignon, “dates with you are so much better.”
“So you liked dinner then?”
“Mmm. Delicious. Do you… do you think you could make me a drink again when we get home? That was really fun and it helped me fall asleep. I really want to be able to sleep through the night tonight.”
“Of course. I think we can do a little better than those screw drivers though.”
Katie laughed, “If you say so, daddy. I guess I don’t have to worry that you’re just trying to take advantage of me.”
I laughed, and Katie laughed too, but then she got quiet and sipped at her water. That sadness from her breakup seemed to always be just below the surface for her.
“You okay, Katie-Bear?”
She seemed to snap out of it and smiled at me. “Yeah. I’m having fun with you. Thanks for dinner, daddy.”