Unforgiven Sins

Cinyla’s POV

I walked around until I see a large flower on my table, it was a bouquet of roses one of my favorite flowers. The smell is different but I sense some fabric in the conditioner. But when check it, I found something mysterious, and the hair on my skin almost arise because I couldn’t understand it and my eyes couldn’t find anything that it is from my mother.

“M-mom!” I shouted and look into the other room. But I saw him there fast asleep, he suddenly woke up and hugged me. “Oh, daughter! What’s the matter?! Did you like what you saw in your room?”

“H-ha? You’re the one who did it?”

“Yes, sweetie! I’m sorry I fell asleep. I gave that to you as my advanced gift for your incoming birthday.” She touches my face and greets me. I was almost fed up with what my Mother did. The surprise she had prepared was shocking.

“Oh, it’s coming from you, mom! Thank you so much! You make me so nervous. But mom, the petals have fallen which makes me think that that bouquet of roses isn’t coming from you. Besides, my birthday will be on next Sunday and you’re preparing too early, mom.”

My mother took my hand and said “I’m early because I have a walk on your birthday. I need to take care of something, son. Get dressed first okay?” He kissed my forehead and I just responded with a forced smile.

I gained all the joy I had felt from before, the speed faded as if dad had only been here on earth for a while.

I said goodbye to change clothes and rest first. I sluggishly left Mom’s room. And suddenly I saw Ben with a pure smile.

“Let me go inside first, just take the food from me but knock,” I spoke reluctantly and left as well. I saw her aura change because of what I showed but I just chose to leave and enter my room.

I know the speed will change my mood, who will change the mixture? After greeting you all of a sudden there is a reason for all of them. As soon as I entered my room, I locked it, and a dozen flowers and a small red box immediately opened up to me. I wanted to approach that but I just ignored it and undressed.

I just chose to get dressed and lie down on my bed as if I had lost my appetite to eat dinner this afternoon. What else will he take care of? Why would he even hit me on my birthday? I was still planning to make it a day off but I’d better just go to work, after all, it’s a waste of the money I’ll be paid that day.

I looked up at my ceiling and honestly this time, a lot of questions came to my mind again. I don’t understand, it has added to the sudden arrival of Ben in our lives as well as Mother.

I sat up until my eyes gradually dimmed due to the wet liquid escaping from my eyes. What is going on?

In the middle of worrying about things, there was a knock on my door. “Cinyla?” it called from outside His voice was full so I knew it was BenChua.

I stand up to open the door. He suddenly covered his eyes with the right palm of his hand.

“Why are you without clothes? You forgot to wear your clothes?” I looked at my top and there was only the bra. Oh my!

I suddenly closed the door and took my clothes off the bed. I close my eyes in annoyance because, in that scene, he saw my mountain.

“A-Are you still there?” I shout as I adjust myself. I was ashamed of my float but I just tried to be brave because it was my fault.

“Sure, are you okay?” he responds.

I approached with what I knew he needed. I picked up the choco drink and an ensaymada I bought at the S and J Coffee Shop on top of my table where my Mom’s gift was, but I chose to ignore that.

I saw him waiting there as if worried. “It’s that oh.” I handed him the choco drink and ensaymada.

I was about to close the door but it was blocked. “What else do you need? I’m going to rest.” I answered rudely.

“Nothing, thanks for this. Are you okay? Are you crying?” question its reason for others I look for he has not noticed.

“Is it? It’s gone… All right, there’s nothing. Eat that because it’s cold, I’m going to rest. Tell Mom I’ll eat tomorrow morning before going to work. Thank you for the delivery and pick me up.” I explained once the door closed. I couldn’t wait for what he would say next. I don’t know how I feel, I lost my temper so I just chose to rest.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

I just went back to bed but apart from worrying about what Mom would say, I was ashamed of Ben for what he saw. Even though my body was well-shaped he shouldn’t have seen that. It’s just really annoying!

I meditated in my room; my eyes caught my mother’s gift. I wanted to open it but my pride led me. I’m really upset with him, because what is his walk and it seems like it’s even more important than my birthday.

And whatever I avoid, there’s a part of me that wants to approach that and open up. I did a few more restraints but, in the end, I did nothing because all of that was ignored when I decided to approach that. I lost!

What is this? The scent of flowers ah, oh roses!

After I smelled the flowers, I picked up a small red box. What can it contain?

I opened it and saw a shiny necklace. My world almost stopped when I saw that, I took it out of the pouch and I remembered everything.

FLASHBACK

“You know my lovely daughter; this is the necklace I keep and when it’s your 20th birthday I’ll give it to you.”

“Really? But I remember that necklace is from Grandma, and for I know that is her inheritance to you, right daddy?”

“Yes, Cinyla! I will give it to you because you are my only princess in our family.”

END OF FLASHBACK

A series of tears have happened to me right now, they are overflowing as if my cheeks are already wet. And I hugged the necklace. Dad, I miss you.

I could no longer calm myself so I let the resentment engulf me because until now, I still could not accept that he would be lost to Mother’s uncle. It hurts so much to lose a loved one that sometimes you want to join but you have to stay behind to continue living.

And there was another knock on my door, “Please Ben, I’m going to eat tomorrow!” I shout.

“Cinyla, this is mama. I know you can’t stand me, but please, let’s talk. Get outside of your room and eat now, if anything I said wrong before, forgive me. Open the door, please!”

I was deaf to what he was saying, I was very upset even though she had given me the necklace from papa I still didn’t want to talk to her and after a couple of minutes, there is silence. I give deep sigh, finally, she’s left!

I have already put the necklace inside the box. It’s better to put it here so it doesn’t get lost. I adjusted myself, not wanting Mom to see and know that I was crying.

Not because I don’t want her to worry either she might think someone made me cry or something, but the truth is I’m really in a bad mood right now. Then, I decided to stand up, and the door opened. Mother had a key beside me. I could do nothing but greet her with a warm embrace.

“Cinyla, I’m sorry if I said that before. It’s just so important so I hope you don’t feel bad anymore,” she explained while I am hugging her.

But it hurts me so I just chose to keep quiet because when such emotions dominate me, I might say things I shouldn’t.

But to my surprise, Mom lost her hug with me. I was surprised at what he did next. He approached the table and saw the red box.

“D-daughter? Whose little red box next to the flowers I gave you? she asked in surprise, raising an eyebrow at me.

“W-what?”

She pointed it out and took it so I could better understand her point. “Mom, that’s from you. Thank you for this!” I took it from her and hugged it as if my resentment had disappeared as well because of what I remembered.

“But… I only put flowers here in your room? And when I grow old next week, I’ll have another gift for you.” Her explanation seemed more confusing to me.

“H-Ha? But mom, they were here together before, your petals were even scattered before and then I smelled a strange scent.” I’ll add more details because that’s exactly what I got home.

Mom hurried to peek out my window. I have a window in the room for him to slide that can be broken. It is closed but there is a possibility that I will be able to enter when it is open.

“Sweetie, I didn’t give anything like that before. Whoever it was, I don’t know who. I knew that from your dad but when his siblings and his mother informed me that he was gone, he never gave it to me.” my mother explained that she was not the one who gave me it. My heart is beating so fast right now, as if I don’t know who, where, how, and why.

“Cinyla, I have something to tell you. But please, let’s just have this first.” He reminded me that it gave my chest even more pounding.

I swallowed and just nodded. Mother closed my door first, closed my window tightly, and blocked my thick curtain.

We sit on my bed first and holding my hand tightly he did. At that time, mixed emotions that were waiting for me as if earlier resentment seemed to be erased suddenly.

“Daughter…”

I looked straight at my mom when she called me, my attention seemed full because I didn’t want to miss anything she had to say. But even though he didn’t say anything, I was almost restless and I also felt like I was sweating from the cold.

“Mom, what’s going on?” I asked worriedly.

“Daughter, I know your dad hasn’t been with us for two years, and it’s not a joke what happened to the two of us. I also didn’t recover when I found out about his family. I don’t know if that necklace got here at home. “And the fact that I left on your birthday is connected to knowing the truth.”

Everything mama said didn’t work for me right away, I seemed deaf and dumb at those times but all sorts of questions arose about what she was pointing at.

“Cinyla, I feel like he’s alive. Your dad is alive…”

It was as if the cold water had poured down on me when Mother released that word, the words were also repeated in my brain.

“I know it was shocking, Cinyla but please let me know first. And I hope you’ll always be careful; I don’t know what will happen. But my princess, I’m sorry…” she added which gives heavy now to my feelings.

I took Mama’s hand away from me because I seemed to be stuck in a situation, I had no idea about. It’s like the world is playing tricks on me now.

“Cinyla, please listen to me first. An-” I cut her words. Instead, even though I don’t understand anything I choose an answer that I know I need right now. “Mom, we’re open to talking. Please give me time to think clearly. Please,” I answered with courage. He looked at it first and said, “All right son, rest first. When you’re hungry, just cook later. Or just tell me.”

“Thank you, but for now you can leave my room. I’m going to rest.”

I saw the sadness on Mama’s face when I said that, I haven’t heard anything yet. He came out of my room while I was left speechless and my thoughts increased even more.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. But it seems like every day there is a mystery hiding in this household, in our family. Whatever it is, I will prepare. I will be prepared to find out that. I looked at that box again, I removed the necklace and the little pillow that was there. And inside ‘non, there is little paper.

I read what was written there. “I’m sorry, Cinyla.”