Trapped in his End Game (Series)

I used to think that I was a smart girl. I pick up things easily. I adapt. I am adept at getting 100 percent on exams. Other things that people don’t see, I notice. That’s what makes me such a good student and card dealer.

How could such a smart person get herself in such a situation?

I don’t really consider myself human anymore. I’m just a bundle of nerves and fear. Constantly sick to my stomach, wondering when Tony’s patience will run and I’ll meet my end as I’m walking to class. Or in this shitty dorm room. Right in front of Maria. Two holes in the head. Or they could make me disappear so completely that no one would ever hear from me again. Not that anyone would go looking.

A smart person would go to the police or the FBI. They could maybe protect me, but then I would be spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, and I would be throwing Vince under the bus.

I’m fucked.

I read the same sentence over and over again. I’ve read it nearly five times, but I can’t decipher anything out of it. It’s all gibberish.

Setting down the calculus book, I watch Maria. She’s curled up on her bed as she talks to her boyfriend on the phone. Her giggles constantly crack through my concentration. The lighthearted sound irritates me. What I wouldn’t give to be that carefree.

I shove the book out of sight. Who the fuck cares about class? I have bigger things to worry about right now. More than anything, I want to run back into Vince’s arms and explain everything. I just want to give up control and let him protect me. I’ve done it so many times that I can’t count. Which makes me feel so useless.

Dad’s cold body sits in that grave plot I stopped visiting, quietly rotting into dust while I help his murderers kill a man who has been perfectly nice to me.

Grow a backbone and forget about your issues with the Rizzo family.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

Blinking back tears, I reach into our mini fridge to grab the bottle of vodka. I hesitate for a moment before I unscrew the cap. There’s no more Vince to keep me away from what I want the most. I pour a generous amount into my coffee mug as Maria watches out of the corner of her eye, and I take a sip. A small shudder runs through my body as it burns down my throat.

Ah, it feels good.

It’s nice not to have him breathing down my neck about every drop of alcohol I consume. It calms me, numbs all feeling so that I don’t feel my racing heart.

How the fuck do I make this guy like me?

Maybe if I go there a bit tipsy, I’ll have a bit more courage to-to I don’t know, flirt. Maybe I won’t be consumed with this nauseating dread and paralyzing fear that Mrs. Cesare might end up dead if I don’t make major strides with Carmine tonight.

He’s just such a decent, polite guy that the guilt I feel makes it that much harder.

It’s either him or us.

Maria ends her phone call and tosses her phone on the bed, giving me a beady look that I ignore.

“Another drink, eh?”

The judgment in her voice makes me snarl. “Yeah.”

She tosses her thickly highlighted hair behind her shoulders. “Are you sure you’re doing okay? Ever since you and Vince broke up, I don’t know-you’ve been different.”

I know she’s delicately hinting towards the fact that I’m a fucking mess. So what? She has no idea what I’m going through.

“I’m a bit stressed, that’s all. It has nothing to do with him.”

She stares at me, probably seeing right through my lies as easily as a knife sliding through butter.

“I don’t know how these mafia assholes got you, but it’s pretty easy to tell that they have some kind of hold on you. I don’t know what it’s about, but I’m worried, Ade.”

I set the mug down and iron my face with my hands, rubbing hard. “I am in a bit of trouble, but it’s temporary.”

Maria blinks rather rapidly as she inhales sharply. “Is it serious?”

“Maria, please stay out of this.”

She gives me an extremely offended look. “I’m only trying to help you-”

I stand up, feeling more and more nettled by the second. “No, you’re being nosy.

“Have you considered-I mean, have you thought about going to the poli-”

“Are you out of your goddamn mind?” The air seems to vibrate with my screams. “Stay the fuck out of it!”

Maria blinks rather rapidly, her face burning red as my words seem to strike her in the face. I hurt her. At once, I feel a wave of remorse. Why am I yelling at my best friend? Why am I doing any of this?

“Sorry.” Tears burst from my throat and I sink to the floor, appalled with myself. “Oh, fuck.”

There is no way out of this.

She climbs down her chair and sits down beside me, throwing an arm around my shoulder. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.” Her voice is thick with tears. She sounds like she hardly believes it.

I let her arms surround me, desperate for a sliver of hope. I miss her. I miss just hanging out with her and not having to worry about all this shit, going to class, hanging out in cafes. I miss it all.

She waits until the tears subside before talking again. “What does Vincent think about all this?” she says softly.

“He doesn’t really know, and I plan to keep it that way.” I raise my tear-stained head from her shoulder and wipe my eyes. “I’ve got to get ready for work.”

Maria’s mournful gaze follows me as I disappear into the bathroom. I stand under the shower, hoping that the hot water will somehow seep into my brain to give me a sudden jolt of understanding-an idea that will solve all my problems.

I’m too drunk to think.

* * *

The lights in front of Worlds Casino seem more hazy than usual, or maybe it’s the alcohol fucking up my brain. The colorful lights in the casino blur together, the sounds oddly distorted.

Jesus Christ.

After Tony’s threats, I needed to do something to numb the gut-wrenching, paralyzing fear. I actually held my cell phone in my hand and my thumb trembled over the “call” button next to Vince’s name. Tony did threaten to kill his mother.

I don’t think he’ll really do it. It was a bluff-just something to scare me into action.

It worked.

My heels scuff on a hole in the carpet of the casino, and I nearly stumble.

A venomous voice that sounds remarkably like Vincent’s hisses in my head. Pull yourself together, for fuck’s sake.

A weaker one screams: I can’t do this! I’m just a college kid!

You will do this for me. You love me, don’t you?

My heartbeat calms down as I spot Carmine’s slick figure in the dark, VIP room, his arms folded. I walk towards him slowly, and he gives me the same cheerful smile he gives me every weekend.

Smile. Touch him. Do something!

Deep dimples crease his face, along with the faint lines near his eye. “Hello there. You look nice, today.”

Nice. Not beautiful or pretty, just nice. I pulled all the stops with makeup and picked out my most beautiful dress. It clings to my every curve. What’s it going to take to get a decent reaction from this man? He’s wearing a black suit, which reminds me of Vince and makes my heart heavy.

His eyebrows lift. “You all right? You look a little-”

Thinking of Vince makes my throat close, and then it’s hard to speak. I force myself to look into Carmine’s eyes, though. “Yeah.”

Light fingers touch my cheek. Carmine’s face hovers above me, creased with worry. “Tell me.”

Tell me. That edge of authority in his voice, however slight and tempered with sweetness, reminds me of Vincent. He doesn’t ask. He expects.

“My mother left town without saying goodbye.”

His jaw tics as he looks at me. Of course, Carmine would know all about my mother’s history. He would know why I have a debt to pay. A sudden thought freezes my insides. Maybe he knows who killed my father.

“Tony thinks I told her to leave.” I suddenly hold up a hand over my face, as if I’m overcome with emotion. “I haven’t talked to her in months. It’s just-”

Carmine’s expression is stony and I wonder if I’ve offended him. I turn around to leave, and his hand gently takes mine and pulls me closer. He pulls me right into his arms and holds me tight enough to make me wheeze. I haven’t been hugged like this since I left Vincent. It’s like I forgot how good they feel. I close my eyes and pretend he’s Vince, but the wrong voice speaks into my ear and it shatters my calm.

“I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I blush hard when I pull away. I try to avoid his steady, sincere gaze, which is filled with compassion. “Sorry, I shouldn’t talk about it. Just forget I said anything. I’ll get to work and-”

His handsome face cracks with laughter and he shakes his head. “Adriana, you’ve got to learn to relax. It’s okay to be upset once in a while.”

He says it with such obvious sincerity that I can’t help but feel light. Even Vince was never this sensitive.

“You’re very sweet.”

“Don’t tell the others,” he says, his eyes beaming.

I smile back at him, affected by warmth in his voice. He really is one of the nicest men I know, and it’s such a shame-shut up.

“I’ll just get to work, then.”

He nods and I head towards my table, a little relieved. He’s still watching me when I sit down at my table, and a small thrill of triumph shoots into my chest. I’ve finally got his attention.

But it’s still not enough for Tony.

The brief thrill dies like a flat soda barely sizzling on your tongue.

The night passes by quickly. As usual, there’s no trouble with any of my players and they tip generously. Carmine sweeps past my table several times and I beam at him when he does.

When the night ends, I wait until everyone else has cleared out before approaching Carmine with my chips. I’m bleary eyed and tired from working all night, but I still need to make progress with Carmine to keep Tony happy.

“Thanks.” He takes the box of chips from me, smiling as he briefly looks at its contents. “This is great, Adriana. Well-”

Just fucking do it.

“Do you want to get a drink with me?”

My heart beats violently as Carmine turns towards me, surprise lighting his face.

“Sure,” he says in a mild voice. “I’ll just cash these in and meet you at the bar?”

“Okay.”

Jesus Christ what do I have to do to get through to this guy?

It’s frustrating.

He gives me a curious look, but heads off in the direction of the cashier while I stalk towards the bar. It’s brightly lit and obnoxious, and the completely wrong place for a first date.

He arrives in a breeze of cologne that immediately reminds me of Vince. I force my face into a smile as he sits down next to me. Carmine smiles again as he looks at me, his eyes wrinkling in a way that is almost endearing.

I fucking hate this. I don’t want to do this to him.

He turns his head as the bartender approaches. “I’ll have a scotch on the rocks, please. And she’ll have a-”

“Rum and coke.”

So, now what?

“How’ve you been?” he asks conversationally.

“Good,” I reply automatically, before remembering about my lie. “Well, not really.” I release some of the tension balled up in my chest in a sigh. “My mom and I never really got along much, but still.”

His jaw tics as he stares straight ahead. “Yeah, I know what you mean. My mother and I don’t have the best relationship. I still visit her every month, but any more than that and I go crazy.”

Carmine gives me a good-natured smile. He looks like he’s laughing at his own private joke. Then he reaches forward and his fingers just graze my knee. “So, what’s this about, hon?”

Fuck.

“What do you mean?”

“Why am I here?” An apologetic smile spreads across his face. “You’re always so scared around me.” He turns away from my burning face to take the scotch as it arrives. He takes a measured sip as I wrap my clammy hands around mine.

It’s not you I’m afraid of.

I take a large gulp of my drink as my mind screams in panic. You fucking moron, you nearly screwed this up! “I’m just nervous around you, that’s all.”

Yeah, right.

My face burns deeply as Carmine chuckles into his drink, but I hope that only convinces him that I’ve a crush on him.

“I make you nervous, huh?”

There’s a hint of a smirk in his voice, which gives me hope.

Then he hooks his foot around the metal footrest of my stool and he drags me closer to him. It’s a sudden, sharp jerk and I throw my hands out. They accidentally land on his thighs and I pull them back as if I’ve been burned. His laughter rings in my ears. It’s like nails on chalkboard, but when I look at him, there’s no cruelty on his face.

“Hell, maybe you have a crush on me. I don’t know.” He leans in so close I can count the stubble on his cheek and my chest freezes. “But when I look at you, I see a frightened little girl. A girl who definitely wants something from me. Why don’t you just try asking for it?”

We’re so close, I can feel his breath when he talks. All I have to do is lean in to kiss him, but his expression is unreadable. He sees right through my pathetic act.

I swallow hard and try not to let my eyes water as he stares at me, his breath billowing over my face. “I don’t want anything from you-I just want to get to know you.”

Carmine sits back and grabs the scotch. He tilts his head as he downs it in one shot and slams it against the counter. The noise makes me jump.

“There’s one thing you should know about me, Adriana.” He speaks in a different voice that makes the hair on the back of my head stand up. His eyes pin me to my seat as his voice rises. “I hate liars. It’s insulting and disrespectful. I don’t tolerate that shit, so don’t treat me like I’m some kind of jamook you can easily manipulate.”

My hands tremble and I clutch the glass tighter. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to give you one last chance to tell me the truth.”

Stunned, I sit there in silence as Carmine folds his arms and watches me, waiting for me to speak. What do I say? After several moments, he raises his eyebrow.

“Go home, Adriana.” He stands up from the stool and slaps down money for our drinks. Then he turns to me with an impassive look on his face. There’s no smile, no twinkle in his eyes, nothing. “And don’t ever fucking lie to me again.”