The Love of An Invisible

[ Iuri Stevens’ Vision]

It’s lunch time, the first five hours have gone on boring as usual, I’ve seen these issues, so I don’t need to stay focused on class, I can keep losing myself in my fantasies that maybe there is some slightest possibility that Aya will accept my request to be her date at the summer dance.

I pack my things in my backpack and out of the corner of my eye I notice Aya walking slowly out of the classroom.

“Come on man, take advantage that she is alone,” George says slapping me on the back.

“Let me just pack my stuff,” I say, quickly putting away the missing things in my backpack, “Wish me luck.”

A nervous smile stamps my face, my fingers tremble just for the expectation. I turn and start walking out of the room.

“Go for it bro!” I can hear the sound of his laughter before I walk through the blue door of the room.

I feel my heart racing fast in my chest, I’ve never done anything so risky, I have no experience with girls, my father has never talked to me either, all I know is the things that George rarely talks to me, but I don’t put much faith in it, just like me he also has no experience and everything he says is based on the internet.

I hold on to the ladder’s handrail and before passing through the smooth curve that the ladder makes to go to the last steps, my body paralyzes when I see Aya on her back and right in front of Leandro.

“I need to talk to you,” he says, and this makes my heart, previously anxious at the possibility of winning a yes from her beautiful lips, tighten at the sight of such a scene.

“What?” she stutters a little.

“About the summer ball, only two weeks away.”

**Why is he talking about the dance?**

My thoughts come up with various theories as to why, I try not to lose myself from the conversation and with my body glued to the wall – so they can’t see me – I continue to listen to what they are talking about.

“I know it wasn’t right what I did the last time we spoke.”

“Last time, if I remember correctly, I spoke to myself,” she says, her voice clearly still hurt.

“Yes, I regret what I did, I also want to apologize to you, I didn’t know what to say after receiving that totally unexpected statement you made. Would you be able to forgive me, Aya?”

I don’t know if it’s because I’m picking on him, or if it’s because I’m still holding on to past hurts, or if it’s just jealousy at seeing him so close to Aya, but I can’t feel a shred of truth in any of his words.

“All right, I confess that I was hasty, so I apologize to you and I also apologize for making you uncomfortable” she says in her sweet voice, the direction this conversation is taking is making me increasingly despondent..

“No problem, the other thing I wanted to talk to you about, is … Well … Do you want to be my date for the summer formal?”

I hold my breath, I can’t have heard right, did Leandro really ask her to be his date? And Suzana? Why doesn’t he go with her like they always were? Aya’s answer takes a few seconds, and the tension in my body only increases with all this mystery.

“Are you sure you want me to be your date for the summer ball?”

“I have never been so sure in my life!”

“So,” his pause makes me clench my hands against the thick denim of my pants, “I accept yes!”

It’s over, I feel my knees weaken, and if they talk any more, I don’t listen anymore, I always knew my chances were minimal, but to be sure that now they were null leaves me disoriented, even without the certainty, my heart didn’t hold back and fantasized about chances that were nothing but imaginative, and now it’s broken, next to Leandro I’m nothing, which has never been different in my life, I’m just an invisible.

I sit on the floor leaning on the wall and resting my arms on my knees, I lay my head on my arms and the conversation of the two of them, along with a projected image of the future with the two of them dancing at the ball becomes present in my consciousness and my eyes grow moist. I don’t want to cry, not here.

“Hey man, what happened?” George nudges me and sits down next to me on the floor.

“I didn’t even get to talk to her,” I say without lifting my head.

“Then why are you here like a dog that has just lost its master? Go talk to her.”

“Leandro was quicker and invited her first, and she accepted” defeated without even fighting, that’s how I feel.

For the first time I hear silence in response from George, but instead of words, I feel his hand on my back trying to comfort me.

“We’d better go into the living room, the people and she herself will soon be taking the stairs, come on,” he holds out his hand and I hold it.

We walk in silence back to our seats in the classroom.

“Aren’t you going to lunch?” George never misses lunchtime, it’s his favorite time at school.

“Not hungry” he says cheerlessly.

I know he said this only because he sympathized with my pain, he has known that I have liked Aya since I was six years old. Ever since that first beaming smile, that gentle violet gaze, my heart has been beating for her name. I know this must not be normal, to love someone who doesn’t even know you exist for twelve years is something not at all common.

“You don’t have to stay here, you can go eat, in twenty minutes the time will be over and classes will take a long time to finish, you can’t have an empty stomach.”

“I don’t want to leave my friend alone in the grief of defeat!”

“No need to feel sorry, I’ll get better.”

“I know you will, but I’m not leaving, if it were me in your place, I know you would do the same for me,” he speaks with conviction.

“But I would respect your wish to be alone,” I hope I didn’t sound too rude.

He looks at me, and his gaze is sad, I don’t know whether because of my words or out of pity.

“I’m not going out” he says, and then we end our conversation.

[ Vision of Suzana Guilan ]

“Hello, Leo,” I greet him with a kiss.

“Hey baby, excited for the ball?” he asks me with his gallant smile.

“I want you to help me, baby,” I speak slyly and hug him.

“Say it my pretty one,” he squeezes my waist.

“I want you to go to the dance with the girl who confessed to you a few weeks ago,” I say as I stroke his chest.

“Aya? Why?” he asks, pulling away.

“Because it’ll be a lot of fun,” I say with a smile on my face.

He snorts discouraged, but always gives in to my requests, he’s sure that this will get me into bed. Poor bastard.

“Make the invitation at lunchtime.”

“Okay, but I want my reward later!” I smile at him, and he smiles at me too.

Leandro spins on his heels and steps into the room, out of the corner of my eye I watch Aya packing her belongings into her backpack. Always wearing headphones with cat ears, her hair flowing black down to her waist, long clothes, totally without salt. Maybe the only thing that could be saved about her was her violet eyes, but even that doesn’t make her seem pretty. I don’t like people to touch what is mine, and she dared to propose to Leandro, and me hearing every word, outraged me.

He and I aren’t dating yet, I’m just waiting for him to make a decent proposal in front of everyone, and I’ve already planned how it’s going to go, and she’s going to be in my show.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Are you sure about what you’re going to do Suzi?” Luana asks me.

“Sure, who does she think she is?” I roll my eyes and see her leaving the room.

“Let’s go to lunch” I call Luana and together we leave the room.

A boy runs past us, he is from the same class as me, but I don’t even remember who he is, I didn’t see his face.

“Rude!” Luana says while the silhouette of the weird boy disappears.

“Forget it, let’s eat before the timetable runs out, today is geography class.”

“Let’s go….”

“Hello, girls,” Gustavo and Henrique appear hugging us.

“Hello, cats,” I say smiling.

I’ve been with both of them, one in each dance, they were just a few kisses, nothing major, today we are friends. They are nice, dumb, but nice.

Henrique is a redhead with blue eyes, he is tall and practices wrestling with Leandro, while Gustavo is only a little shorter than Henrique, he has dark brown hair and light brown eyes, he practices swimming and clandestine cracks.

“Do you already have a date for the dance?” Henrique says, smiling.

“No, we haven’t been invited yet,” I say smiling.

“Fear not, no problem! We won some ladies, Gustavo” he whispers while touching his friend’s shoulder with the tip of his elbow.

We walk together to lunch, on the smooth curve of the stairs we see the strange boy sitting with his head down, I don’t mind and continue on my way, I have better things to do.