The Love of An Invisible

[Aya Millenis’ Sight]

“Why are you looking like that?” I question Luana and she looks at me with a sad look.

“Come with me,” she speaks and walks away from the room with the children, I follow her to the hallway where there is no one.

“Is there a problem?” I ask, but something tells me that it is a problem, and a big one.

She sighs and hugs her own body, this only makes the tightness in my chest increase.

“I have two pieces of news, Aya, and neither of them are good news.”

“What is it?” I try to control my vocal cords that want to shudder.

“Well” she sighs and I hold my breath: first I want to thank you for all your effort and constant giving that you do. It’s thanks to you, your sister and my husband that the orphanage hasn’t closed its doors yet, however, they bought the orphanage’s place and well… The children are going to be relocated to other orphanages in other cities.”

I can’t hear you right, I feel my eyes burning, I will never be able to bear to see Heloysie again, I have to do something, I can’t let this happen. She can’t be taken away from me.

“I know how much you love the girl, but there is a couple who want to adopt her, they are kind, I am sure they will take good care of her…”

“No, no, no,” I repeat frantically as I shake my head in the negative. “They… they can’t adopt her, I… I will…”

“I know how painful this is for you, Aya, I more than anyone else do, but think of her welfare…”

“I will adopt her,” I interrupt her, “Her welfare will be mine to give!” I speak and the air starts to get heavy around me.

“You’ve been trying for over a year to find a husband, and unfortunately, you haven’t even found a boyfriend. The truth hurts. Luana doesn’t hold back her words.

“I’ll manage, Lu,” I say with my eyes filled with tears.

“You have to understand me Aya, my duty is to take care of these children, I can’t let her live here waiting for you, she needs parents and many parents need a child. Don’t be petty.”

“I’m not being mean, but she wants me as her mother and I want her as my daughter!” my voice comes out shaky, my heart hammering hard in my chest. There has to be another way.

“Just wanting doesn’t make the law act Aya, I know how special one is to the other, but she is only two years old, if I don’t let the couple adopt her she will have to go to another orphanage and God knows what the people she will have to deal with are like, you know exactly what I am talking about.”

Yes, I do. I don’t want my little girl to be mistreated by anyone or to starve, to get absurd punishments for nonsense. My heart squeezes, I know that the best thing to do is to let her be adopted, but my heart won’t accept that no one but me can be her mother.

“I… I can’t accept it,” crying tries to rise up in my throat, “Only I can be her mother…”

“Stop being selfish!” she vociferates loudly surprising me, it’s not like her to lose her temper like this, “Look, it hurts my heart to have to separate you two, it hurts me a lot to be one of the ones responsible for inflicting suffering on you once again, but I need to think about what’s best for her, Aya, please, I beg you to try to understand my side.”Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“And.. What if I get help? Someone to buy the orphanage back?” I am desperate, I know, but I need to fight for my daughter with all my heart.

“Only a miracle will make it happen” she sighs, I know that just like me, she doesn’t want the doors of this orphanage to be closed “I’ll give you that chance, but you’ll have to find someone by four o’clock tomorrow afternoon, after that time, Heloysie will be adopted.”

I know I swore I would never ask Mr. Gustam for anything again, but no amount of pride is more important than the smile on my little girl’s face.

“Let’s go back to the room,” Luana speaks and walks back in front of me.

* At dawn in the apartment *

Now what? How will I ask Mr. Gustam to buy the orphanage? He and his wife have already done so much for me, I don’t want to have to bother him again. It’s past three in the morning, I can’t stand still, I keep moving around. Every month I donate half of my salary, my sister donates a third and so does Leandro, I know it has always been little, but at least that would put at least three meals a day on the plates of the thirteen children inside.

I take a deep breath, I need to calm down, today Mr. Gustam has nothing scheduled, he will have the morning free, he always arrives half an hour before the other employees, I will go to the company at seven thirty, I usually arrive with ten minutes to spare, but I do not know how long it will take to convince him, better to arrive at the same time as him. But how will I convince him?

I already know, as soon as I open the door to his room, I’ll do it like in the anime movies, he surely won’t refuse!

I feel a little more confident, I go to the kitchen and drink a glass of natural water, then return to my room, set the alarm clock and lie in bed, I can’t have a face full of dark circles under my eyes.

*At exactly seven thirty in the morning at the Stevens company headquarters*

The doors are only an inch away, my heart is beating so hard I can hear it, I try to control my breathing, I press my briefcase to my chest and feel the blood getting warm, after three years, I haven’t kept much contact, nothing but good morning, how are you and take care, that’s all. What the hell… After three, searching to ask for something that will take so much money…. I can’t give back, I need to ask for help, I did my best during these two years.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, now is the time, I know Mr. Gustam is behind his desk looking at some papers as he always does, every day, come on Aya, be brave, remember Zenitsu, he is the embodiment of fearfulness, but when it comes to Nezuko he turns into the bravest in the whole universe of the anime Kimetsu no Yaiba, be like him!

With my eyes closed, I open the door without even knocking, he is probably looking at me without understanding anything, I let my briefcase fall on the floor and still with my eyes closed I kneel down, put my hands on the floor and rest my forehead, I always see the anime characters doing this position to beg for something or to apologize, I need to beg for help. I fill my lungs with air, open my eyes and stare at the floor.

“Good morning Mr. Gustam, forgive me for entering your office like this, but I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to, I’m desperate, I urgently need help, and …” I feel a lump forming in my throat, but I can’t go back, the words have to come out anyway, “I know it’s very abusive of me, but please, BUY THE ZAIN ORFANATE” I shout the last part “I know I have no right to ask this … But the children… They… They’re amazing… They are very special…” tears are already coming out of my eyes, the image of Heloysie giving me her back and holding other people’s hands invades my mind and my heart hurts, my voice gets weak and now it comes out only whispers “She can’t…”

“Aya…” the voice of Leandro makes me stop talking, I feel my body freeze.

The tears stop, slowly, not yet believing the voice I hear, I lift my head, my eyes widen and tremble, all the leaders of the company are here, my eyes go through them one by one, the disgusted looks coming towards me are those of my parents, all the others look at me either with pity or disbelief. My eyes land on a tall brunette man. I know him from somewhere… Where have I seen those eyes before?

Iuri!

No no no, it can’t be him… I don’t want it to be him… but my heart tells me yes, it is. He’s back.

He is so different, he is no longer as thin as before, now he has a body with more muscles than Leandro’s was when he was a teenager – today he is a little chubby, thanks to the delicacies Luana prepares – his black hair is combed perfectly back and his beard is well done, his posture is totally different from what I remembered, he now seems to be dominating everything around him, I feel small and helpless before his superior look?

No, no, no, no… Why is he here? His eyes look at me, not like before, in a warm and loving way, at this moment they look at me in a cold way, for sure he didn’t want to see me here. The tears come back, I asked God so much to see him one more time, but now that he is finally here, I realize that I am not ready, even after seven years, I still can’t look into his face and apologize.

Unable to hold back the tears I pick myself up off the floor and run out of the room, I shouldn’t have gone in there.