The Glimpse of My Past

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“Huh? W-What do you mean?” I furrowed my forehead while asking. Suddenly, Martina killed me with her suspense acting.

“It was Leandro,” Martina confessed audaciously.

“What?” I couldn’t help but raised my voice. I didn’t expect them to have an intimate past together, that her revelation made me cover my mouth after being slack-jawed. “Oh my God! Really?” I couldn’t see my whole reaction right now because of my mask, but it looked like my face blanched.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong! I never liked him even once, so you can have him all by yourself if you want. I just did what I had to do before to take my revenge on my ex-girlfriend who cheated on me. Leandro couldn’t even remember that we shared a bed anyway. In fact, he was only focused on you that he couldn’t even lay his eyes on other women here.” Martina was now braiding her hair as she paused for a minute.

“But I just want to make things clear between the two of us, Claire. I wasn’t jealous or insecure of you, never did I. Don’t worry because I couldn’t feel anything whenever you were with Leandro. It’s just that-you two kept on reminding me about my ex-girlfriend Claire before. So, I’m sorry if I somehow hurt you with my imbecile actions.”

“Hmm… don’t get me wrong too, Martina. I was a bit surprised by what you shared with me, but I didn’t like Leandro ever since. He might be courting me for the past two years already, but I made clear to him right from the start that all I could give him was entirely friendship. Nothing more and nothing less,” I pointed out.

“Are you sure about that? Leandro was one hell of an expert when it comes to satisfying women on the bed. Not to brag about how I experienced it, but he could make you wet for a second while screaming his name as you cum. You might want to change your mind, sweetheart! But by the way, have you two already kissed, if you don’t mind me asking? As far as I could remember, he was a great kisser too, and not to mention that he was still hot until now,” Martina teased me while purposefully licking her lips with her tongue.

“Oh… no way, Martina! Even a kiss won’t ever happen to us, so sharing a bed with him is truly impossible. The crows would turn white but still, liking Leandro back would never happen. He’s quite creepy, and I am actually avoiding him nowadays.” I waved my hands in front of her, silently telling her that I wasn’t interested in Leandro, and my mind would never change with what I thought about him.

But I experienced sharing a bed with his brother last night… and just this morning, his lips brushed into mine. I wanted to add but opted myself not to. I wasn’t a kiss-and-tell type of person.

We continued to chat for a few more minutes. Martina told me that she came from a rich and powerful family, but she got disowned after her sex videos leaked in their university. Unfortunately, that incident made her stop from graduating.

At some point, I must admit that I enjoyed Martina’s company. She was free-spirited, outspoken, and quite funny to be with, making me think that it was indeed my fault to use Claire as my stage name here. 

The dressing room was filled with our laughter together when we heard Janina rushed through the door with her scheduling tablet. “Claire, it’s two minutes before Shiela’s number. Get ready!”

“Oh, alright! Thanks for reminding me, Ja.” I replied to Janina before looking again at Martina. I quite got lost in our conversation, making me forget about the time.

“I’ll go first. Just make yourself more beautiful here, and you will perform next to me. Also, thanks for trusting me with your secret. I will always zip my mouth about it.” I bade her goodbye as I gestured my fingers to keep my mouth shut.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t like my life depends on it anyway. It just feels great to talk to someone about it. Thanks, Claire. I might have already moved on, but having a short convo with you now made me feel a lot better.” Martina smiled at me before adding more blush-on and perfecting her eyebrows. Although we were not close before, ‘eyebrow is life’ was her favorite motto.

I stood up, adjusted the black mask on my face, as well as my clothes before leaving the dressing room. Wearing a sleeveless and red fitted dress with the hem just about four inches above my knees, it hugged my perfect curves. I went outside the dressing room and strode towards the stage where I always performed.

Never did I experience my long legs to feel wobble with my high heels, but tonight was different. I took a deep breath first to calm myself. I did not usually sing here, but I must admit that my voice was also pretty good.

Or am I the only one who thinks that my voice is beautiful?

Whatever!

Aunt Lucy would not instruct me to sing here if she knew that I would only embarrass myself in front of the club’s VIP customers. Perhaps, she would just cancel Shiela’s song number if she doesn’t trust me enough. She would probably ask me to just dance here like what I always did by moving my performance a little bit earlier replacing Shiela’s.

Holding the microphone at the center of the stage, the spotlight seemed to be blinding me. Nevertheless, it does not prevent my eyes from looking around and checking the whole surroundings. My heart hoped that I would see him, but I was unsuccessful to even see his shadow. It looked like there was no Liam who would go here tonight because he surely had lots of things to do.

My brain was obstinately screaming because an overwhelming sadness made me think that he would not be able to watch me tonight. It was quite ironic that the audiences were applauding in front of me, but it was only him I would want to see clapping his hands for me. With a floating mind, I had no other choice but to sing my musical piece.

You’re the light that suddenly came into my life

You’re the color when the day becomes night

You’re the cure for every pain that I feel

I never knew you could mean so much to me, honey

Why does it feel like I only dedicated this song to Liam? Why couldn’t I get him out of my mind even while singing? Even when I wasn’t even seeing him here? I didn’t know, but I might end up crazy if this strange feeling would continue to lurk inside me.

I don’t care about any obstacle that will come between us

All I care about is you not to be afar

You have me, and so, I have us

Please tell me you feel the same way too, my love

Why does it feel that the song lyrics matched so much with what I truly felt for him? Why couldn’t I get him out of my senses, knowing we had only met each other last night? With so many men trying to woo me around, why did my heart fall for Liam just like that? I must admit that everything happened so soon, but I never wanted to stop it either.

Love me like there’s no tomorrow

Love me like I’m about to let you go

Love me like we will fight every hindrance together

Love me like this is our last chance on earth

While feeling the emotions of the song and not just simply singing the lyrics of it, my eyes roamed again until my gaze got stuck with the striking man who was standing at the left corner near the entrance. He stood out from the rest, and glee overtook my heart.