07 Surrender To Live
07 Surrender To Live
~Tamia~
"No need," I replied, and he walked to me and looked into my eyes. I knew he was hurting, but his pain was nothing compared to mine.
He was the one on the gaining side.
"I can't let go, Tamia," he said and placed his hands gently on my shoulders.
"It is normal to give up on a situation and someone you don't understand, Tamia. I understand your anger and why you will flirt with Devin. I know you have a strong reason to give up on us, but I am asking you to give me a chance. I know we can make this work. I am willing to do anything for you, Tamia. I know I am wrong, but tell me what to do to keep you. I will do anything to keep you, Tamia. I was hoping you could teach me how. I will learn to be a better person for you please. Amanda was beyond my control. I am sorry. You know I tried. Please, Tamia," He pleaded with me with tears in his eyes.
Leo went on his knees and hugged my legs.
"Please, Tamia. I am trying to the best of my ability. Let me prove myself to you. Let me make it work," He said in tears, and I knew he wouldn't let up.
"Get up," I said, and he stood up.
I looked up to see the hurt in his eyes. He was deeply conflicted.
"All you had to do was reject her, but instead, you let her father bully her way into our home. You left our bed and went to her. You pushed me aside. I thought I would have to share, but you didn't even leave room for that. You abandoned me. I am a laughing stock. Most pack members do not even respect me anymore. As far as they are concerned, I am no longer their Luna. What do you want
me to do, Leo? How do you want me to cope? You should let me go. If you love me, you will reject me and let me go. You have to reject one of us, and that will be me, Leo. Let me get over you in peace," I said, and he shook his head.
My heart was breaking too.
We were so good together. I had many happy memories with Leo.
Why did this happen to us? My heart was breaking.
He leaned close to me and kissed me on my lips.
I let him because I needed comfort. It was a messed up situation.
He was the cause of my pain, and he was giving me comfort.
My body needed it. I kept telling myself, 'just this once, Tamia'.
Somehow trying to justify what was about to happen between us. He was my husband, and it shouldn't feel wrong.
My body ached, and he was right when he implied that I was aroused, but I still wanted him.
So I threw caution to the wind and wrapped my legs around him. I knew it was going to be a long night. Kaira purred in my head.
He was trying to get another chance, but this was my goodbye to him. I just had one more month before receiving a response from a southern Alpha, to whom I sent a request.
Once it comes, I will leave regardless of what it says. It was for the best. Seeing the way Leo was, he wouldn't be able to let go of me, and neither would he let Amanda go. I had to decide for him. So I set aside my grudge and gave him access. I allowed him to make love to me.
Leo made love to me all through the night. It was as if he was auditioning, trying to make me remember.
I never forgot how I felt about him. I just ignored my feelings, so I didn't hurt more than I was already.
There was nothing wrong with what we were doing. He was my husband, but I was scared because the more I let myself enjoy it, the more hurt I would be when I woke up alone on my bed.
Leo went four rounds with me that night until I couldn't take anymore. I wondered where the fire came from. It reminded me of old times. Times I knew were gone forever.
I woke up. To my surprise, Leo was lying next to me in bed.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I wanted to cry. There was a time I would wake up to this sight of him every morning before I went on my runs. Fate had messed up my life completely, and I doubted if I would ever be happy again.
I got up and wore my robe to cover my body when someone suddenly started banging on my door.
I knew it was Amanda. What was her deal? I never banged on her door. Why was she banging on mine?
Leo woke up abruptly and looked at me. All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.
"Good morning," he said, and the banging came again. He looked at me, unsure if he should open the door or not. I wanted to see him struggle.
He eventually got up and went to the door.
He opened it, and Amanda walked in.
"Get out of my room," I warned her, and Leo gently walked her out. I could allow anything, but there was no way she would be entering my room.
The argument between Amanda and Leo was explosive.
"You knew I was married and insisted. I can't neglect my wife, Amanda." He said, pleading with her, and I laughed.
"She doesn't fight me when I am with you. You have to accept that it will be like this," he said, and I heard a slap. She had slapped Leo on the face, and I wanted to laugh.
"I Amanda.." She said, using the same old blackmail. A half rejection. I would have greatly respected him if only Leo was man enough to take it. The only reason he slept with me was out of fear.
Usually, men in his situation, especially Alphas, never bother because they know no one would want their women, but in his case, Alpha Devin had shown interest in me, which meant he could take me from him with a challenge. All I had to do was accept, and Leo will have no choice but to accept the challenge.
Leo was strong, but he was no match for Devin. He has to bow out and reject me regarding a challenge. He put on all that sports all night long to prove he could still care for my needs. But we were past that. Great sex wasn't going to make me change my mind about him. If I ever get an opportunity to leave his arse, I will take it and never look back.
"Go ahead, finish the sentence. I'm sick of this shit," I heard Leo tell her and I was shocked. She was silent.
"This is how it will be around here henceforth. Tamia is my wife, and nothing will change that. If you can't handle it, too bad. We had a perfect life before all this fated shit happened, and then your
father forced you into my home. I have gone against myself and the woman I love for this shit. You know nothing about how far Tamia and I have come, Amanda. We built this pack together. Don't ask me to turn my back on her because I won't." He said, and tears welled up in my eyes.
He left her, returned to my room, and then went to lie on the bed.
"I do not feel like doing much today, and neither should you. Come back to bed," he urged me, and I smiled at him. My husband had grown some balls.
Leo kept his word and spent four nights a week in my room. Amanda went home a couple of times, but she had to come back. She reported us to her father, but the man could not get involved. Everyone thought Leo would treat me like Max and Kyle treat their wives, but they were wrong. He truly cared for me.
It was hard on Black, Leo's wolf, but Leo forced his wolf to comply. I could not bear Black's pain, but Leo asked me to ignore Black. He was trying, there was no doubt.
The pack members gradually started giving my respect to Amanda.
Some people even blatantly disrespected me.
They often said they wanted to check with Amanda before carrying out the task I gave them.
Since the Mountain Pack had two Lunas, I stopped going to the office and carrying out my luna duties. Amanda had no clue how it was done, but I did not care. Every time there was an issue, I left it for Amanda to attend.
I never heard from Devin again, and a month passed quietly.
***
There was a commotion in the settlement, and I wondered what was happening. Leo entered my office in a rush.
"We are under attack, Tamia, Northern Wolves from the Dark Alpha," he said, and I became scared.
"What happened?" I asked, leaving my desk, and he shook his head.
"Something about Kyle overstepping, but we are all in it now, and Alpha Devin isn't around to help us." He said.
"Where is the battle?" I asked him.
"Valley hill, Max's pack. Once they fall, we are next," he said, and we walked home quickly. We entered, and Amanda was panicking.
"Go to the shelter and hide," he told her, and I frowned at him.
"She is luna, too; she should fight," I said angrily, and he shook his head.
"I do not have time for this, Tamia. Let's shift and head to the battle." He said, and I shook my head.
"Please, Tamia, She isn't a trained warrior," he said, trying to reason with me.
"You should have trained her," I said, refusing to go.
The siren went off, which meant the defence in Valley hill had fallen, and the attackers were in our settlement.
"Guess she will have to fight now," I said and looked at her.
"Do you think this is a joke, Tamia? They are in our settlement! Amanda can't fight because she is with child," He said, and I froze.
"You got her pregnant?" I yelled, and he was quiet.
"You took precautions with me for five years and got her pregnant in months," I said, tears forming in my eyes, and he was speechless.
"Let's go," he said, and I shook my head.
"Leave without me," I said, and he growled at me in frustration.
"Please, Tamia," He pleaded with me.
"Leave!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face.
"I wanted children, Leo, but you said we should take our time. Now, this. I am the third wheel now. Why should I come with you when you two are already a family?" I said, tears streaming down my face.
"We can try too," he said in a hurry, and I shook my head.
"I am sick and tired of this shit! None of us is truly happy," I said, and he shook his head.
"Please, Tamia, this isn't the time," he said, and I was about to respond when our door was knocked down, and huge men with long beards and hair barged in.
Leo was ready to fight. He shifted and attacked, but they were too much and soon overpowered him. Amanda begged them not to kill him, but they did not listen.
I watched her weep and saw their effort to capture him. They wanted a trophy.
"Spare his life and take me as your trophy," I told the men, going on my knees; they needed to kill either Leo or me for the attack to end. By surrendering, neither of us would die. I did not know what captivity would be like, but it was better than this.
"Tamia, please," Amanda linked me, but I shut her out. That was the first time she showed concern. The men wore silver on me and dragged me out of the house while Black lay unconscious on the ground. The Dark Alpha had made his statement. I hoped they listen.
"Where are you taking me to?" I asked the men while they dragged me in chains.
"To the north," They said, and I dreaded the days ahead.