113
Foxfire
“Sorry,” I say as we drive over, following the brightly painted VW bus my mom calls Daisy. “I should’ve warned you about her.”
“Has she always been this way?”
“When I was sixteen, she met the guy who wanted to take me to prom, gave him a box of condoms and a candle shaped like the Minoan fertility goddess.”
Tank winces. I shrug. “I was used to her by then. She’s a big believer in free love.”
“So, your father…”
“They were twin flames.” I mimic Sunny’s airy tones. “Souls destined to meet. They met at some sort of festival, I think.”
“So he could be the shifter.”
“Yeah,” I say quietly. My mom’s anonymous sperm donor, aka Dear Old Dad, gave me more than gray eyes and the tendency to burn in the sun.
Inside the trailer, Tank and I clean up while Sunny bustles about making green tea. Her bangles ring constantly until I ask her to remove them.
“Tank prefers silence,” I explain.
“Does he meditate?”
“Yes,” I lie.
Poor Tank hasn’t said a word.
“Most days, he takes a vow of silence.”
He snorts.
“Really,” Sunny breathes.
I nod. “He broke it to be with me. After I got your voicemail-”
“Yes, I’m so sorry, darling. It just shook me.”
“Of course.” I hug her. The teapot whistles halfway through, but we remain in our embrace until Tank clears his throat.
“Right, silence,” Sunny mutters. She serves the tea in traditional Japanese service, which means we get about a thimbleful each. Tank looks at his dubiously and doesn’t touch it.
“So, Sunny, about these men-”
“They were very coarse, darling. I had a bad feeling and left in the bus immediately after talking to them. I came back to get my things and the place-” She gestures. My poor mom, all alone.
“Do you have any idea who they might be?”
“No, darling. I asked Mr. Biggs about them and he said the matter was all settled, there must have been some mistake. It was all very strange.”
“Huh,” Tank says. “But you say they asked after Foxfire?”
“Yes. Perhaps they thought she had the money, if I didn’t.”
“Excuse me. I have to make a call.” With a nod at me, he rises and leaves.
“Mom, I have to ask you something. It’s about Dad.”
“Your father?”
“Yes. How did you meet him?”
“The street festival. He manned a booth near mine. We spoke quite often and, well.” She shrugs.
“Did he tell you anything? About himself or his family?”
“Only that they were very private. He grew up on a compound up in Utah. Sounded quite secretive. They weren’t at all welcoming to outsiders.”
“Did he…” I pause. I don’t quite know how to say “turn into a fox every full moon?”
Tank returns to sit with me.
“Ms. Hines, your daughter is very special.”
Sunny bobs her head. “Oh yes. I know.”
“We’re wondering what traits she might share with her father.”
“Do you mean his wild energy?”
Both Tank and I sit up straighter.
“Yes,” I say slowly.
“You definitely share the same soul color. Sort of red…with gold. Vibrant. Pulsing energy.”
“Yes, all right.”
We give each other a glance. She doesn’t know anything.
“Funny. But we had the wildest time together.”
I clear my throat.
“Once we partied and he disappeared, and in his place-well, in his place was his spirit animal. At first I thought it was a bad trip. But your father was in tune, very in tune. What makes you ask about all this?”
I try to think of a logical way to ask without telling her I shift to a fox. “I want to know more about him. Recently, I-”
Tank shakes his head.
“Um, I’m going through a spiritual awakening. Finding my spirit animal, too.”
“Ah.” Sunny nods.
“Ms. Hines,” Tank cuts in. “After you called, Foxfire was afraid for you. I thought it might be good if she learned more about her father.”
“I just want to know if I have any family on that side, and I don’t know anything about him, really.”
“Of course. You just never cared to hear about him.”
I blink. “I thought you didn’t want to discuss him.”
“Oh, I don’t mind. Your father was very special. I’m glad our energies aligned to make a child. No, whenever I brought him up, you changed the subject.”
“He abandoned us,” I croaked. My throat is suddenly dry. I swallow my tea and reach for Tank’s. He scoots it closer to me, and I down it, too.
“He didn’t. His sensitive nature didn’t allow him to live around people for long. All his kin were very secretive. He was the only one brave enough to venture out to market. The rest of them lived off the land. Before he hitched a ride to the market, he had never ridden in a car. But he was more modern than all his relatives combined.”
“Did he ever ask about me?”
“I sent him notes and a few pictures. He only sent back money.”
I pull out the envelope and set it on the table.
Sunny nods. “Darling, if I’d known you wanted to meet him-”
I turn away from her. “I looked up the address. It belongs to a Johnny Red.”
Sunny nods. “Yes, that’s him.”
“That’s him? My dad? He was in Moab all this time?”
“No, darling. He moves around quite a bit. At least, he used to.”
“But he has a post office box there?” Moab. A wilderness. Good for fox shifters.
Sunny hesitates. “Darling, are you sure-”
“Just tell me. Is my biological father currently residing a mere six hours away from here?”
My mom bites her lip and nods.
Suddenly the trailer, with my mother’s scent and items from my childhood, is too close and stuffy to bear. “I need a moment,” I whisper, and leave. Tank stirs but lets me flee.
Outside the chilly air has a bite to it, but I don’t mind. I walk quickly to the edge of the woods and stop, chewing my lip. Sunny doesn’t know I’m a shifter. Maybe no one does. All my life, I’ve marched to the beat of a different drummer. But now I really am alone.
My skin itches, like I could shift and run. Life is simpler as a fox.
“Foxfire,” Tank calls. I don’t turn around, even when his heat hits my back.
The wind picks up. I wrap my arms around my body but refuse to move.
Tank sighs. He stands beside me, keeping his eyes on the forest. His profile blurs out of the corner of my eye.
“My mom left, too,” he says. “When I was nine. My dad was a wolf, had a good place in the pack, but she… she was a loner.”
The wind blows along the trailer with a slight howl. I don’t know whether it’s creepy or comforting.
“Did you ever see her again? After she left?” My voice is brittle.
“No.” Tank moves and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Whoever your dad is, he cared for you. He’s been sending money all these years.”
My cheeks are a bit wet. I dash at my cheeks. “He didn’t care. He didn’t stay. He didn’t teach me who I am. I never thought…” I stop talking because, of course, I never thought anything like this would happen to me. I lived twenty-six years as a human. I embraced my weird. I just never thought I actually was a freak.
“Come here.” Tank folds me in his arms. He’s so big, for a second I’m completely enveloped, hidden from the world.
“It hurts,” I whisper against his broad chest.
“Baby.”
“He should’ve been here. He should’ve helped me.” I wipe my eyes, annoyed. I never cared about my dad. He left. Why should I feel anything for a man who obviously felt nothing for me?
“I can’t believe he didn’t try to reach out, tell me he was a fox.”
“Maybe he wasn’t sure you were one.”
“What do you mean?”
“Children of shifters and humans aren’t always able to shift themselves. Maybe he thought it best to leave you alone, let you live a normal life.”
“Normal life? Raised by Sunny?” I scoff.
“As a human, then.”
“Well so much for that,” I mumble, but I’m not sorry I’m fox. I refuse to regret my animal’s magical presence in my life. It’s not her fault my life is fucked up and my parents are a joke.
Tank regards me, but there’s no pity in his expression. Only a tenderness that will make me strong again, if I let it.
He cups my cheek. “What do you want to do?”
I take a deep breath. “I want to find him.”
“Okay,” he says, and just like that, I feel better. But I don’t let go of him. Tank’s my rock, I decide. I’ll cling to him, as long as he lets me.
~.~
Foxfire
“You sure about this, baby?” We spent the last few minutes informing Sunny of our plans and getting ready to head out. Tank has his arms around me again. I’ve needed more fortifying hugs in the past day than I have my entire life.
“Yeah. My fox… she needs her kin.”
He nods.
The door to the trailer bangs open, breaking us apart.
“This is going to be so fun,” Sunny trills from the front step. She’s dragging a large carpet bag behind her.
“What is?”
“Road trip!” She claps her hands.
I roll my eyes. Mom can be so ridiculous. I definitely take after my dad.
“Where do you want this?” Sunny lifts her bag.Têxt belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
“No,” Tank says.
“What?”
“Um, Mom,” I rush in, “we didn’t realize you’d be coming.”
“Well, of course I am, silly. How else are you going to recognize your father?”
I look at Tank, who rubs his forehead. “I don’t have room in my truck.”
“Oh, I can ride in the back,” Sunny waves a hand.
Tank shakes his head.
“Or we could take Sunny’s bus,” I offer. The three of us turn to look at Daisy. It’s an old VW bus. The parts that aren’t rusted are painted purple, with white daisies.
“What a marvelous idea!” Sunny crows.
Tank’s jaw clenches as he closes his eyes.