Chapter 40- Fucking loser
Malcolm
Faint rays of the sun were glinting on the window and filtering in through the narrow slit in the window that was left open to let in some air. I had stayed up all night drafting plans but I was running out of ideas. I pinched the skin on my forehead and sighed loudly, stood up from the bed flexing my legs to the window and boring hard into the morning sun just outside. I felt a chilling sadness inside.
Days have rolled into weeks and drifted by and Bella was still missing. I felt her absence like a canker sore in my soul. To know I had a mate that was out there, but I couldn’t reach her was gnawing me up inside. She was my life and she left me. I fought back the waters that stung my eyes. Oh Goddess, please help me.
I rubbed my palm against the back of my neck, leaning on the wall. ” Isabella, my mate and my world, where are you? I need you more than life itself.”
I was in pain but it was even worse for Arden. At first, I thought he was becoming mentally unstable. He lost his mind a dozen times a day and he would always yell at any slight provocation. He broke stuff and punched the walls a zillion times. The omegas and pack members suffered greatly because he distributed punishment like packs of candy.
Even though he wasn’t the one in charge of training, he forced the warriors to train harder and longer. But as days passed with no sign or trace of her, his rage reduced into melancholy.
If he pushed or punished the pack, it was nothing compared to the way he punished himself.
He would wake up even before the omegas and run to the boundary with the hope that he might find her there. He picked at his food and rarely sat through meals. He would walk down to the training grounds and train under the rain and sun until he was thoroughly exhausted and wasted. He would punch the heavy punching bag until his knuckles started to bleed.
A couple of weeks into his grueling routine, he was starting to look rough. There were dark circles under his eyes and his mouth was set in an infinite flat line.
He also lost a lot of weight which made him look more ripped and more scary.
He stopped whoring around like he lost all the fun and attraction about it. He took little to no interest in women, even when they overly threw themselves at him.
Even some known sluts in the pack had seen Luna’s absence as an opportunity to attach themselves to him, but if they thought they would succeed in seducing him, they were disappointed. He pushed them aside and he even banished the stubborn ones that would sneak into his chambers, on his bed naked begging to be fucked.
He never stopped looking for Bella. He even called every pack far from us to put up inquiries about her missing. He distributed her pictures to the media and even offered a reward for anyone who could give accurate information on her whereabouts. He even hired a private detective to search for her.
At nightfall, he would lock himself in his study and he would bury himself in paperwork and flies just to distract himself.
And when that didn’t work, he would pull out a bottle of an expensive vodka and pour himself a shot, and then push the bottle across to me. I understood he was going through pain and I sat with him and drank moderately.
” You’re right brother,” he muttered after drenching himself in vodka. ” I was a fucking bastard, I was a fucking fool, a fucking moron,” he screamed and dragged his hands through his scruffy hair, he hadn’t shaved in weeks which added to his shabby looks.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.
” I thought if I accepted her it would make me weak, I thought accepting the mate bond between us would mean I had no will of my own,” he screamed and threw the glass cup on the wall and it shattered while the pieces scattered all over the floor. He picked up the bottle of vodka and drank straight from it, while he tried to wipe the tears threatening to spill.
” I hated the fact that her scent and smile consumed me, making me weak and needy inside, I wanted to be in charge all the time.”
” I hated how she literally turned my world upside down, I can’t seem to concentrate on anything else other than Isabella. Her entire existence in my life has haunted me even in my dreams.”
” I was a fucking loser, I thought I had everything under control but it turns out that she was my strength. And she took everything with her: my world, my peace, my soul, my strength. She took every damn thing with her when she left.”
” Did you know she rejected me, Malcolm? She rejected our bond,”
” She rejected you?” I asked surprised but somehow I was excited knowing that their mate bond was broken. That means my bond with her would be stronger now without any obstruction.
He nodded miserably. ” It felt like my soul was ripped in half. I felt its sharpness in my chest, the ruthless pain pierced through my bones. But I couldn’t even drop my pride and go after my mate.”
” I swore with my life, whether she still wants me or not, Isabella is mine and will continue to be mine as long as I am alive. I would never let her off so easily. We’ve been destined to be together, whether it be love or hate. Or even rejection, I will never let her go. And I will kill anyone that would stand between us. Even the moon goddess herself cannot stop me from having her again.” he released a painful howl
” Isabella, why would you turn the most cruel and ruthless Alpha into a broken and empty man?”