SILENT DESIRES

She glared at him, anger and resentment boiling in a cauldron inside her that was ready to explode all over him. She jumped up and faced him, fury making her body rigid. “I don’t have to convince you of anything.” He was the one who’d been caught taking a shower while his former girlfriend lounged around answering his phone. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll call my father and ask him.”

She turned to do just that, but his words stopped her.

“Do not go. I will tell you.” Dash’s complexion had gone gray. “You thought your father tried to get us together, but you did not realize the methods he used?”

The methods had been pretty obvious, or at least she had thought so at the time. “He sent you to check on me in Athens.”

“He sent me, yes, but not to check on you. I was under duress to convince you of marriage.” Dash said.

That explained so much. Dash looked sick and she could imagine why. A proud man like him would have been severely bothered by the fact that he was being manipulated by someone else. Her father’s weapon of blackmail must have been a good one.

“What did he use as leverage?” she asked.

“Black Shipping.” he replied.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“Your great-grandfather’s company?”

Dash had told her about the modest shipping company during one of their discussions at a business dinner. She had thought he was sweetly sentimental for holding on to it when it was such a small concern compared to his other holdings. “I don’t understand how my father could threaten it. It’s a family owned company.” She said,

“It was, but my uncle gambles. He lost a lot of money and rather than swallow his pride and ask me for it, he sold his shares in the family company to your father.”

“So?” She still didn’t get how that could impact her husband. He was the head of the company. Her father could play pesky-fly-in-the-ointment, but that wouldn’t be enough to force Dash into doing something he didn’t want to.

“Neal also was able to secure enough shares and proxies from family members no longer close to the company to take control. He threatened to approve a merger with our chief competitor, a merger that would result in the disappearance of the Black name.”

And his pride had found that untenable.

“What were the terms?” she asked, a little awed by her father’s ruthlessness.

As Dash outlined the terms for their marriage arrangement, she went cold to the depths of her being.

“So you planned to make me pregnant and then ditch me.” She asked.

It made sense. Once she had his baby, he had control of his company back and he didn’t need her. Even if she divorced him, he retained control of the company through the child. It also explained his chilly reaction to her announcement of the pregnancy. He needed the baby, but Dash couldn’t work up any enthusiasm for having a child with her, the daughter of the man who had blackmailed him and so severely offended his pride.

“That’s why you made that crack about me not using anything and getting pregnant so fast.” She said, She couldn’t breathe, but she had to force the words out anyway. “You had no intention of returning to my bed after I conceived.”

“It was not like that,” he said.

“It was just like that! You said so.” She sank back onto the small couch, feeling drained.

Dash came toward her, but something in her look must have gotten to him because he stopped before reaching her. “At first, I planned to divorce you after getting my company back. But then I thought you did not know, and I realized that I liked being with you, so I decided that our marriage would be real and forever. You were innocent.” He swung his hand out in an arc to punctuate the words. “To include you in a vendetta against your father would have been wrong. This is what I told myself.”

His eyes appealed to her, but her heart was bleeding and she couldn’t offer the understanding he sought. “I believed you would make a good wife, an admirable mother,” he said, his tone driven.

Two weeks ago those statements would have been compliments, but now they were testament to how lukewarm his feelings were for her.

“You decided to make the best of a bad situation.” She said,

The muscles in his face clenched. “Yes”

“But then you overheard my father and me talking and drew your own conclusions.”

She felt sick remembering what had been said and how it could have been interpreted.

Her father had a lot to answer for and she intended to hold him accountable, just as soon as she wasn’t doing her utmost to control her roiling stomach.

“Yes.” Dash did not look too good himself. “Can you not understand how I felt? Your father used my uncle’s weakness against me, against the Black family. I could not let that go unchallenged.”

“So, you decided to get your revenge by dumping me once I got pregnant.” She asked.

It was such a cold thing to do, definitely not something he would have contemplated if he loved her.

He shook his head, if anything looking more grim than he had a moment ago.

“That was not my plan,” he said.

“What was your plan?” she asked, dreading the answer. Could anything be worse, though?

“I wanted you to believe I had taken a mistress. Olivia agreed to help me with this. I intended to shame you into asking for a divorce. The baby did not come into it.”

“But how would that have gotten you control back of the company?”

“I have purchased all outstanding stock, including that for which your father held proxies. Getting back half of the shares would have fulfilled my pride more than my need. It was part of my vendetta.”

“You never intended for me to get pregnant.” Her hand went in an automatic protective gesture over her womb.

He looked haunted. “I did not think of it.”

At her look of disbelief, he turned away again and spoke with his back to her.

“I went crazy. I was only thinking of how you had played me for a fool. How stupid I had been to trust you.” he said.

And his pride, which had already been smarting from her father’s behavior, would have been decimated by this turn of events.

“Your carrying my baby did not enter my mind.” His broad shoulders were tense with strain. “I wanted to hurt you. I admit this. I wanted to make Neal pay.”

“You succeeded. You should be proud of a job well done.” She said, Too well done. So much for bleeding, she felt like her heart was hemorrhaging from the pain.

He turned back, his face set in bleak lines. “I am not proud. I am ashamed and I am sorry.” he said.

Every straining line of his body spoke of sincerity, his dark eyes eloquent with his regret.

“I believe you.” She sighed, trying to ease the tightness in her chest. She believed that he was sorry, but his apology could not undo the hurt. Repentant, or not, he had married her not because he wanted her, but because he’d been forced to do it.