SAGE

Chapter 29

Connor Simpson

I have to say, throughout the summer I've came a long way. I'm not the same person I was two months

ago or even before that.

I won't say I've changed for the better because all of the changes I've gone through are because of

hate, but not all of them are because of hate.

Three people made me, they molded me. Maze, Sebastian and mom. Even though they did but Sage

has also been a huge part of my change. He's been the one good thing that happened to me this

summer, a positive influence, someone to depend on when days are dark.

I embrace the change, the good and the bad but my heart still breaks each morning. I miss mom yet I

can't find it in my heart to forgive her. To look past everything.

I opened the door to the house that has been my home for almost two months.

I locked it after talking off my shoes. I threw my keys on the bowl by the door. I could hear music

playing low in the living room just how Sage likes it when he wants to relax.

Today at work was one of the good days. Maze was bearable. He wasn't so obnoxious like he always

is.

I must admit, I've grown cocky throughout the summer. The power has gone to my head and I can't

help it.

I've been the nice guy my whole life, I thought I liked it, being good. I thought that was what would

make me succeed in a way but recently I found another purpose. Being nice, being good doesn't get

you anymore. People walk all over you, you don't get respected.

I'm not so nice anymore. People used to call me Sebastian and Sage's pet. Their lackey but not

anymore.

They used to call me a wuss well now I'm involved in illegal racing. I bet they've never done anything

illegal.

My attitude is turning to be just like theirs. Just the other day I slept with someone who wasn't even my

girlfriend.

I walked to the kitchen and got a water bottle out of the fridge. I twisted it open and drank it while

walking to the living room.

Today was one of those days when I got back early than usual.

The music was low that I could hear the voices. I could hear what they were saying.

I immediately froze on the spot. I leaned against the wall and clutch my heart.

I knew I told Sage I'd be civil with Sebastian but I couldn't. I hated Sebastian. He ruined my perfect

home. But the truth is, how can you have someone you've loved for so long. You end up hating

yourself. I would like to hate Sebastian but I can't.

My cheat was pounding and adrenaline was pumping. I was about to let all hell break loose when their

conversation stopped me.

I listened in.

"I don't know how to explain it to you or anyone else without sounding crazy." Sebastian sighed.

"I'm not a judgmental person Sebastian. Make me understand. What made you betray your friend?"

Sage asked.

"It's crazy. It's not like I wanted to betray him but believe me when I say, for the first time in a very long

time. I trusted a woman. You know my history with my mom. It's not the best. I've never trusted a

woman. Maybe it was because both of us are screwed up, fucked up but she saw me. She saw me for

me. It was nice increasing my circle. For a very long time you were my friend then Connor came along.

I'm sure he became my friend because of you."

That was true. I heard Sage sigh.

"And don't tell me it's because he wanted to be my friend. At school, people either hate me or fear me

and those that hate me fear me more than hate so all of them fear me and on the other hand, you and

Connor are loved by everyone. So when Barbra started talking to me, it was nice. We understood each

other. The time Connor caught us it was the first time we ever did that. I'll admit, we've kissed so many

times but we never went that far. I don't know why we went far that time. But aside from that. Barbra

and I were just friends. Sure we kissed but majority of the time we were friends. I would help her when

she was short on cash and she'd pay me back. She was someone I could relay on besides the two of

you."

The words sank in. I knew it was the truth because Sebastian wasn't a lair. He was many things but a

lair wasn't one of them.

He is a blunt truth teller. No matter how ugly the truth was, he always said it.

At that time my mind filled with so many thought.

I never gave myself the time to hear the side of their story. I just to concluded how it all went down. A

phrase Maze always said whenever I started cussing him out for instructions he was giving me popped

in my head.

'Be quick to hear, slow to judge and think before you talk.'

I used my anger to drive me. But seeing them was so damn much for me. I felt betrayed. Stabbed in

the back.

I saw how many girls dropped their panties for Sebastian. Even though he said people hate him, that's

not true. Out of the three of us. He was always the eye candy for girls.

Sure, Sage is the easy going on. Always winking and smirking. Me being me, always polite and quick

to apologize for their behavior. But Sebastian, girls loved the bad boy image he possessed. They love

his dark personality.

Even after he got with the girl, he dropped them the next morning if they're lucky, he usually dropped

them the next three hours, they still loved him. The all think they are the girl that's gonna break the bad

boy.

So when I saw him with my mom, I got scared that was the case. I didn't want my mom with my friend

much less knowing what that friend is capable or incapable of.

"Wow." Sage whispered.

"Yeah that's it. It wasn't some sick game. We are friends. Or at least we were. Barbra doesn't have any

friends. She doesn't have no one to talk to, so I was that for her. A person to listen when she needed

an ear or even a shoulder to cry on. Her life is really hard."

I've never thought of that. Sure over the years I've realized how mom never had any friends over

unless they were co-workers.

I never given that much thought because she never showed it.

My relationship with both mom and Sebastian would never be the same but today I was willing to try. I

was willing to move past this.

I wasn't going to let that situation define me. Sure life isn't fair and people made mistakes.

I also thought it helped hearing that the time I caught them was the first time. The thing about the kiss

was a bittersweet taste but I'll move past this.

I won't hold any grudge for mom.

With that knew found revelation, I walked back out the door.

I felt my shoulders lighter than they were the moment I heard Sebastian's voice.

I was ready to make peace with everything and move on.

I drove to my house. For a long time I sat in the car going over what I should say to her when she

opens the door.

I knew she wasn't asleep because the kitchen light was still on.

First I should start by talking about my father, Jonathan Styles. Yeah I'll start by that.

When I asked her about him I was ready to go on a search to find him but when she told me

afterwards, I couldn't.

I slowly walked up the pathway that lead to my front porch.

My hands were sweaty, I haven't talked to my mom in a long time. Ever since she told me who my

father is, she never called after that. I don't blame her though. I was being selfish and unreasonable.

I rang the door bell and my nervousness caused me to knock too.

Seconds went by and then I knocked again. The door was pulled open and I was met with my mom's

brown eyes.

Her eyes widen in shock and I just stood there. All the speech I had prepared forgotten. I couldn't even

recall one sentence.

"Connor." She breathed by I could see the question that was written in her eyes, what are you doing

here?

"I love you." The words fell out of my mouth. I didn't know how else to show my appreciate or to earn

her forgiveness.

She inhaled sharply. Suddenly she pulled in for a hug and I melted in her arms.

I missed this. Her coconut moisturizer. Her scent. The warmth in her arms. Her hugs.

"My son." She sniffled. "I love you too baby."

I knew she was crying.

"I'm sorry mom. I didn't mean to overreact. I'm so sorry I said all those hurtful things to you. I'm sorry for

everything. I don't need my father. I don't want to know him. I don't want to look for him or even search

for him in the internet. You're all I need." I said rambling all in one breath.

"No I should be the one apologizing. I didn't mean to cause you so much pain. Please let me explain

baby?" She pleaded with me.

I nodded. Now that I know Sebastian's side I had to listen to my mom's side.

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Sage Miller

"This shouldn't have happened." Those were her first words as she got dressed.

I didn't justify her with any form of reply. I crossed my arms at the back of under my head and watched

her.

She acted like she didn't know that 'just friends' would've never worked with us.

We are never gonna be just friends. It would never work, not with us anyway, not in this lifetime.

"I mean look at you and look at me. We would never work. I don't know what I was thinking all along."

She muttered.

Her words got to me in a way I never thought it would. They pierced my heart so deep.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I sat up immediately. She didn't stop to talk to me.

"Exactly what's suppose to mean Sage. We would never work. We are who we are when no one's

watching but as soon we step outside we won't stand a chance. There's too much at stake. Too -"

"What you want to say is that I'm poor and you wouldn't wanna be seen with a nobody right? I'm not the

right kind of guy because my pockets aren't deep and you would never be able to show me off to your

million followers or even your snobby friends. I'm not an heir to anything." I asked bitterly.

That got her got her to stop. Her eyes widen and she looked and me with shock written all over her

face.

"Excuse me?" She whispered.

"Don't pretend like you didn't hear a damn thing I said because you heard exactly what I fucking said.

You want that red haired because he's rich me and I'm not." I told her already out of bed.

"This is not about money Sage." She said offended.

I picked up a sweatpants and put it on.

"Then what the hell is it about if it's not money." I yelled.

"You're two years younger than me Sage. I might act like I don't give a damn but at some point it gets

to me. You're freaking younger than me and I don't see that okay. For a while I pretended like this was

going somewhere. But this, this is what we'll always be to each other."

"What is wrong with that?" I shouted. "What is so wrong about what we have?"

"I want more Sage. I want a relationship. I want commitment and in the long run I want marriage and

kids." She yelled back.

"From me?" I said taking a step back, fear setting in, in my bones.

I remembered Styles words a while ago. How women want something more in the end.

"Y-no. I want that but what we have is hindering that from happening." She pointed out. "I like knowing

that I can have that, its comforting."

"I never stopped you from doing that." I told her frustrated.

"I know but I don't want to cheat."

I snorted.

"So what do you call coming crawling in my bed every time your life fucks you over? Well let me tell

you, it's called cheating sweetheart." I said bitterly. "Since the beginning you've been cheating. Fucking

me and going back to him after I rocked your fucking world. I bet he doesn't touch you like I do Smurf,

he doesn't make you wet like I do."

"Fuck you Sage.... Fuck you. I love him." She said desperately like she was trying to convince both of

us.

I smirked.

"Yet you were screaming my name just minutes ago. And well.... about the fucking me part, you already

did swe-"

Her palm connected with my cheek. My head whipped to the side with so much force.

I could taste my blood in my mouth from where I accidentally bit the inside of my cheek. . That's how

powerful the slap was.

I slowly turned my head back and looked at her.

Her eyes were red with rage and it turned me so fucking on.

I smirked and licked my lips.

"Do it again." I said and then she clicked her tongue flipping her hair and storming off.

My bedroom door closed with a loud bang that shook the whole bedroom.

I could hear her shouting at herself or me. I didn't really know.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot." She repeated it until I heard the front door close the similar way my bedroom

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She'll come back sooner or later. She can't stay away that long.

I told to myself that as I justified my actions. After all that's what she does. She'll come back.

I felt miserable though. Not only was tomorrow dad's birthday but I messed up with Alora again.