Running Into Figure Six

Gerald Hennessey, my boyfriend, did a lot of things that were very annoying but I will talk about the two most critical ones- he burped without covering his mouth and he called me at odd times, and the latter was exactly what he did, minutes after Rooney left for the supermarket.

Gerald could literally call me at 3am asking that I switch my lights on, and then he would ask me to show him my melons, ask me if I’ve locked my door, or he would probably just talk about his fantasies- airfreighting and sexual ones.

He likes to laugh a lot and keep me online, even when I’m knocked out and need to sleep. Those things he did that convinced me about his promise of visiting me in California soon.

I shut my eyes for a second to visualize his surroundings and when I was rest assured he was home and alone, I took a breath.

When i took his call, he said i sounded too relaxed and then he asked that we switch to video call.

“Fuck” I cussed, looking for an angle in Rooney’s house that looked like mine. Nothing was close. It was all glass. And Gerald would never understand if i told him I was at a neighbour’s, neither would he understand if i said I didn’t want a video call at the moment.

So I just laid my head on the pillar and spoke to him in that one angle.

“Hey”

“Where are you at?” His first question. Goddammit.

“I lost my keys and my neighbour took me in for the meantime” I sighed, sounding stupid in my own ears.

“Lost your keys? Did you fight someone? You look like a mess. Your buttons are undone.. your…”

“No, candy. I actually left my keys at… I.. ” I didn’t want to tell him I got drunk again, so I just stuttered until I gave up. “I just happened to misplace them”

“Baby,” he began “I hate lies”

Come on, give the gold medal to Gerald. Fucking liar. Biggest liar of the year. A fucking liar who ‘hates’ lies

“I’m not lying, Gerald. I swear” I whispered, looking back when I thought I heard someone unlock the door. It was only Bella, Rooney’s cat- the one he brought from his travel- and she was nonchalantly scratching the glass.

“How did you lose your keys? Don’t make me hang up on you” He started to yell, as usual when he got angry.

Gerald’s anger is ugly.

All of a sudden, I remembered how he slapped me hard on my left cheek at the mall, back in California, a few years ago, because I hadn’t taken his calls.

Slapped me twice.

“You never care how worried I get about you” he had said and I had been too shocked to retort. I just stayed there and watched him leave. Thanks goodness there were few people walking that evening.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

When Jess had come to fetch me later that day, I told her I hit my head on the shelves and she had helped put ice on it.

“I was drunk. I don’t remember how, I swear.. coz.. I was really high” I pinched the space between my eyebrows, tucked my tummy in and took two breaths. If Gerald were there, he would be close to slapping me.

If I were Gerald, but not the cheating Gerald, I would be close to slapping me too.

“You have been weird lately. You sound off when I call you. You don’t remember to text except I do first” he said.

True.

“I am just stressed out” I blurted out.

Very true too.

“From not working?”

“Yeah. My mind is all over the place because I am not distracted by work at the moment”

“Your lies sound credible but I won’t buy them” he said. I could literally hear him fuming and I just wanted to tell him to shut up, while listing all the things he had done that he didn’t know I got a hold of.

But I would just sound pathetic and it would not end well. The last thing I wanted was to become a pile of teary mess when Rooney needed to talk to me.

“This is our problem, Gerald. You never trust me”

“How can I believe you when you are so far away? Would you trust me if I was the one who packed my bags all of a sudden and left your life without giving clarity as to why?”

I swallowed a lump that suddenly formed in my throat.

“Or would you believe me if you video-called and I had on a messy hair, and a bare chest, resting on a pillar in a house that’s clearly not mine? ”

“Gerald, don’t-

“What is it? Just tell me. Is it that stalker neighbour of yours? He fucks you real good, right?”

I started to seethe just then and I inadvertently moved away from that angle. He saw the plates on the table and he shook his head.

“You can’t tell me you have not fucked him yet. How can you not let me touch you all this time? It’s all for him, right?”

“Don’t be silly, Gerald. I ..”

Holy crap, I need an excuse to get out of this.

“Send me your home address” he said. “And if you want to save this relationship, get your bitchy ass out of there in one minute ” and then he hanged up without giving me room to respond to him. He really didn’t want me knocking around with my friendly, harmless neighbour. How did he want me to survive then?

***

As if he was monitoring me, Gerald called me back five minutes later, when I was still typing my home address. I had to run out towards my own apartment before even hitting the send button. I sat in the balcony and took the call.

There was a lump at the back of my throat that was kind of strangely connected to the tear threatening to fall down my eye. So I did not swallow the lump.

For some reason, his gaze seemed very fierce and I feared what might come out of his mouth. I was visibly shaking even though he was not physically present.

Jessie was right when she said he’s the only person I listen to. I dont know why she doesn’t understand even though she’s in love too.

“You really can’t get in?”

“I can’t. See?” I tried to open my door but it wouldn’t budge as expected. I showed him the rest of my body just to prove that i had been high last night, and his facial muscles relaxed a little.

“I’m just jealous. You don’t even let me have that body, and I was just mad that one guy is getting all he wants out of it. It’s freaking annoying”

“I’m not sleeping with anyone, Gerald” I shrugged.

Even my mom bugs me for my celibacy. Is it a bad thing to not want to be intimate with anyone, to not be ready to fuck with any of my admirers, exes and even Gerald?

“I will come over soon, to make sure.” he deadpanned. He still didn’t laugh or smile.

“You are coming to New York? When?” I swallowed the lump now. Another one formed right after.

“It’s a surprise” he said and turned in his bed.

“Why did you get drunk last night? Do you want to talk about it?”

Just when i was about to tell him we’d talk about that later, and that he should go prepare for work already, Rooney appeared behind me, looking over my shoulder and directly into my screen, plus he was carrying a trolley of girl stuff, and Holy crap, I silently prayed that the ground should swallow me.

He just hanged up without talking about it.

That meant trouble. Gerald’s silence is uglier than his anger. If Gerald already knew my home address like this, then he was going to fly down here and slap me first, before anything.

And i just stood there, holding my chest and grabbing my railings for support. The last thing I wanted then was to have a panic attack before this stranger. So I tried walking away from him, not knowing where I was headed yet.

My head suddenly felt very foggy and my heart started to beat very fast, so fast I thought it would drop if I didn’t hold it.

“Are you okay?” He asked, holding my shoulder and my phone crashed into the pavement. “What’s wrong?” He asked again when he saw me struggling to breathe.

He pulled me into himself and I could not resist him because I had no one to turn to anyways. “It’s okay, Clarissa. You will get through this, just like other days” he said, patting my back and I just sobbed into his chest. “Don’t be so scared about tomorrow, okay? We all have no idea how beautiful it’s going to be- a full compensation for our tough present. It is what I tell myself when I am down”.

“A full compensation and blessing” he repeated.

And that did it. My heartbeat returned to normal immediately my head touched his chest. The vibration of his chest when he talked and the way he just ran his mouth smoothly was second to none actually. It was the fastest I ever got out of a panic attack episode.

I think strangers are angels.

He carefully fished out a bunch of keys from the trolley and opened my door. Then he walked me in, and made sure I was comfortable.

“I am sorry about that guy. I could explain myself if you call him back”

“No, it will only spoil things. He’s not mad. He just had to go real quick” I said, trying my best to not disclose the details of my relationship.

“Then why are you crying?” He asked, half-hugging me and i didn’t know if it was because he was warm, but I just wanted to remain there for a long time.