Chapter 180: No Choice
York Charlie looked at such pale, pitiful her, was looking at him with an intensely disturbed, immensely frightened, and with a hint of expectation, as if he were grasping for some life-saving straw, York Charlie opened his mouth, and the words he wanted to conceal could not be uttered.
Why deceive, why give her a false hope?
“The child …” York Charlie felt his lips dry, a bitter overflow between his lips and tongue, a dull ache in his heart, “is gone.”
Blanche Capra was stunned with her mouth open.
York Charlie looked at her disorientated and overwhelmed and reached out to touch her face, “Blanche, you …”
Blanche Capra suddenly grabbed his wrist as if she hadn’t regained her senses, “What did you … you just say? The baby, the baby is gone?” She suddenly became agitated and grabbed him hard, “How could the baby be gone? York Charlie!!! I don’t believe it! I don’t believe it!” With that she was about to get out of bed.
York Charlie stopped her and held her tightly in his arms, “Where are you going? Just calm down …”
Blanche Capra struggled, “I’m going to ask the doctor! How can it be gone? I don’t believe it!” Actually, she should believe it, the sensations in her body were enough to tell her everything, but … But she couldn’t believe it. The child she had so looked forward to and fought so hard to protect, the first child of her life was just gone?
She did not believe!
“It was me … It was me …” York Charlie hugged her hard, “I was the one who told the doctor to remove it … You don’t have to get excited, just lie down and listen to me first, okay?”
York Charlie’s words were like a blow to the head, shattering Blanche Capra’s self-delusion, and like a flame, igniting all of Blanche Capra’s emotions.
Horrified, sullen, and aching deep into her organs, her soul seemed lost.
She had, indeed, lost her child.
Red-eyed, Blanche Capra went to push York Charlie, struggling and pounding on all fours as she hissed at him, screamed at him in pain, “Who are you to? Who are you to take away my baby? Who are you to kill it? ! York Charlie, you’re not human!” She cried, her voice shaking violently, “You just abandoned it! It was our baby!!!”
York Charlie took her whacks and hugged her even harder as she heard her last gut-wrenching rebuke, she cried out, “The baby … the baby … ” with a choked voice.
York Charlie reddened and closed his eyes tightly, “Marry me, will you? We’ll have children again, one, two …”
Her words crashed over and over in his heart-
It is our child!!!
Our child!
Blanche Capra interrupted him forcefully, “I don’t want it! Don’t! I won’t marry you!”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.
York Charlie held her and wouldn’t let go, “You have to marry me. Who else do you want to marry but me?”
Blanche Capra’s emotional outburst eased, but the shock of losing her child was still too much for her to bear for a moment, and she sobbed as she heard him, unable to get rid of the resentment she felt towards him, “I’ll marry anyone, but not you!”
York Charlie didn’t take her words seriously at all and said softly, “You promised. Now you want to back out?”
Blanche Capra didn’t understand what he was talking about; had she really promised him this earlier when she was smoked out in the fire? She couldn’t think of it, and she didn’t want to admit it, even if it did happen that way!
“No way! I didn’t promise you this!” Blanche Capra dropped her hands feebly and said wearily, “You go out, I want some quiet time.”
York Charlie went out readily enough this time, only to press her under the covers before he went, and tell her to lie still and get some rest.
Blanche Capra didn’t say a word either, and when he had closed the door and gone out, she couldn’t help crying again.
She was really, really out of that baby.
How she wanted to, it was just a joke.
Blanche Capra fell asleep from exhaustion at some point, and then when she woke up again, it was obvious that her eyes were swollen, and she didn’t really care. That morning, Blanche Capra was wondering why York Charlie was missing when she saw Nadia open the door and walk in.
Nadia was carrying hot porridge in her hand, she put the flowers she had bought on her bedside, and looked into Blanche Capra’s eyes for a moment, not knowing how to speak. Blanche Capra said, “What are you doing here?”
Nadia opens the porridge, “I heard from York Charlie, have some porridge!”
Blanche Capra shook her head, “I don’t have an appetite.” She looked at her, “Did he ask you to come?” Her tone became bad, “Did he ask you to come as a lobbyist? You tell him that I won’t forgive him!”
Nadia puts down the porridge in her hand with a somewhat bitter expression, “Blanche, why are you being so hard on yourself?”
Blanche Capra smiles coldly at the air and doesn’t say anything.
“Don’t be like this,” Nadia added, “Since he already knows that you are Brandi, and since you still love him as well, then why do you have to think so much and can’t let go?”
Before Blanche Capra could answer, she heard the door slam and Nadia turned her head to look over but saw nothing, the door was still firmly shut. She stood up and walked out and opened the door to see nothing.
Nadia went back to Blanche Capra’s bedside, Blanche Capra’s expression at this point was no longer cold but somewhat calm, the calmness contained a repressed complexity, Nadia held her hand, “Blanche, you have to choose what is good for you, don’t always be trapped in the past. ”
Blanche Capra looks quietly at the white quilt on her body and spits out three words, “You don’t understand.”
You’re not me. How could you understand how I feel?
Because they are really good friends, Blanche Capra didn’t say a few words even to Nadia, she put her eyes on her face, her eyes vaguely rippled with light, “It is said that the bystander is clear and the authority is confused, but how can the bystander experience everything? To be honest, after going through so much, I really intend to let go of those in the past, however, when facing York Charlie, I always can’t do it, obviously I think about starting over with him, but I always become indecisive and sentimental because of the past …”
Nadia opened her mouth as if to say something, but Blanche Capra stopped her, “You don’t have to say anything to enlighten me, what I can, I’ve already enlightened myself. Otherwise,” she smiled a little bitterly, “how could I have come to this point with him?” She paused, “But this time, he removed the child … without my consent, although he said it was for my good, but, but I still can’t accept it …”
Her smile became even more bitter, “It’s true that after so many years, after experiencing so much, people are actually two people, there are still some things that need to be rubbed together …”
Blanche Capra seemed to be caught in the middle of her thoughts, Nadia slowly spoke, in her eyes was obvious heartache, “Blanche … why are you making yourself so tired?” If it were her, she probably would have chosen to leave a long time ago, she wouldn’t have allowed herself to think so much and so much.
Blanche Capra shook her head, “When it comes to me, you will too. It’s never a choice to be tired …”