#6 Chapter 18
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Mimi
I open my eyes when a knock sounds at my door.
Lifting my head I glance at the clock and see it’s seven. A quick look at the floor to ceiling windows confirms it’s seven p. m. not a. m.
With relief I blow out a sigh and move my notebook off my lap.
I’d fallen asleep on the sofa going over my business plans.
I don’t know who this could be though. I’m not expecting anyone other than Salvatore and he has keys.
I get up when the knock sounds again and habit makes me look through the peephole.
Unlike Gina who just opens her door I look first and get the shock of my life when I see Gabe standing on the other side.
My heart stills.
Usually I’m okay when I see him. I made myself okay. I had to. We work together and we’re in the same circle.
I know though that he’s not here to stop for a random visit. He’s here because of what happened between him and Salvatore.
I haven’t seen Gabe in weeks and honestly it’s been… it’s been easier not being around him.
On the edge of a breath I open the door and put on my best smile.
“Gabe… hey there,” I say, adding the pleasant voice to match the smile.
“Mimi.. hello. Can I come in?” he asks. He’s so different now I barely recognize him.
He’s still got the dangerous vibe but it’s clear he’s whipped himself into shape for Charlotte.
“Of course,” I tell him.
“Thanks.”
He comes in and I close the door.
“Salvatore around?” he asks looking around the room. There’s not a whole lot to look at inside here. What he’s looking at is kind of it and the bedroom. The kitchen is open plan like Salvatore’s but my whole apartment could fit in his living room.
“No, not yet. I’m sure he’ll be by soon. Were you looking for him?” I answer.
Sadness comes into his eyes and I can see he’s not okay. “No… I wasn’t. I came by to talk to you. Didn’t really want to go to the club, and I didn’t want to disturb you on your day off either. I thought and hoped the latter would be the better option.”
I’m surprised he even remembers when I’m off but it’s almost obvious that he’d remember since I work for him and I manage the place. The owner of a business is gonna know when their managers are there or not.
I wouldn’t kid myself into thinking he remembered for anything else.
“What did you want to see me for? Is everything okay with Charlotte?” I ask.
“Yeah… she’s fine. She’s okay.”
“And… the baby? I bet you’re real excited about being a father.” I feel like a hypocrite asking.
What makes it so bad is I really like Charlotte. I’m not a bitch who can hold a grudge against a genuinely nice person.
He doesn’t answer me. He just looks and presses his lips together.
“Mimi… I came to talk to you because I think I did something worse to you than what I know and I feel like I know what it is but I’m not sure. I want you to tell me.” He stares me directly in my eyes, never looking away.
“There’s nothing…” I say and swallow hard. I’m in a good place now and I don’t want to go back down that road.
I don’t want to spoil the happiness I’ve had for the last few weeks with a guy who’s so perfect he exists beyond fantasy.
“I know there is,” he insists. “I’ve been waiting for the right time to speak to you. Mimi, my brother is like a part of me and I know when I hurt him. The only way to hurt him is to hurt his babygirl. So I just want to know what I did.”
I stare at him and feel the truth in his words. I’ve been holding on to the past for what feels like forever. Only telling Gina, then confessing to Salvatore.
Maybe… I should tell him.
“It’s hard to talk about.” I quickly wipe away a tear that slides down my cheek.
He hangs his head down, then looks back at me. “Mimi… I’m gonna just guess. I did a lot of shit during the time I was with you and it wasn’t like people didn’t know what I was up to. They knew. I didn’t hide it. I figured there had to be one thing that happened that maybe you kept back because I was such an asshole. There’s only one thing I can think of,” he states and I already know he’s guessed it.
“What?” I ask nervously.
“You were pregnant …weren’t you?”
I stare at him feeling the cold tendril of anxiety creep down my spine.
I nod and he covers his mouth blowing out a ragged breath.
“Mimi….” He breathes and I blink away more tears. “What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Gabe please don’t go down that road. Don’t. I was stupid for not taking better care of myself.”
“You?” he asks, shaking his head at me. “Mimi, we’ve always taken care of you. You trusted me and you never expected me to be an ass to you. What happened to the baby Mimi?”
“There was an accident… car accident, and I lost her,” I answer and he continues his gaze on me.
“Her?”
“Yeah her.”Text © owned by NôvelDrama.Org.
“Mimi all of that happened and you never said anything. Why not? I was a monster but I wish like fuck you’d told me. You had an accident?”
This is the part I really don’t want to admit to because I know he’s going to hate himself. Just looking at him though I see he’s not going to let up until I fill in the blanks.
“Gabe, I had the accident after I found you with Sienna in the dressing room. I left and I was too upset to drive. I should have taken a walk instead. Walk it off, do something, just not drive. It wasn’t like it was the first time I’d seen you with one of the girls from the club in the club, and outside. That day though I was just … I was disappointed and it turned out to be the day that mattered.”
“Oh… God…” he shakes his head and I’m shocked beyond measure when I see a tear run down his cheek. “God Mimi, no wonder you hated me so damn much. I… hate myself.”
“No…Gabe, don’t. It’s taken a lot out of me to move past it. I’m not over it and it’s not okay, but I’m not that person anymore.” I’m just fucked up in other ways from the whole ordeal, but I’m getting better at learning to trust myself one day at a time.
“You’re right it’s not okay, but I do hate myself. You deserved so much more than that, so much more than me. I knew better than to do what I did. No amount of sorrow can make up for it, but I am truly sorry,” he apologizes.
I nod because I do know he’s sorry.
I see it and I accept it. I have to because I already know what hating him feels like and it wasn’t good for me.
The door clicks open and I see a giant bag of groceries first before I see Salvatore.
“I’m making you cannelloni baby –” his voice trails off when he looks across to me and sees Gabe.
I’m not used to the Arctic coldness that’s drifted in the space between us. Not with these two. These two brothers are supposed to be best friends, as close as close can be and I never wanted to come between them.
One look and I can tell things have changed.
While Gabe looks remorseful, Salvatore has that fury in his eyes.
He just looks at Gabe and doesn’t say anything to either of us as he walks in the kitchen and sets the bag down. He completely ignores Gabe.
Gabe looks on at him with the same sadness.
“I’ll leave you guys to enjoy the rest of your evening,” Gabe says and looks back to me.
“Thanks for coming,” I tell him. I felt I should say that, no matter what is going on between him and Salvatore because he didn’t have to come by.
He looks at me like he doesn’t know what to say, remorse heavy in his eyes.
We didn’t finish talking but honestly there was nothing more to talk about.
He leaves and as the door clicks shut I look back to Salvatore who is already watching me.
Pulling in a deep breath I go into the kitchen to him and stand a breath away.
“What did he want?” he asks.
“I told him. Salvatore… I told him about the … baby.”
“And?”
“He’s sorry.”
“Yeah, fucking right he’s sorry. And does his sorry make everything better?” The cynicism ripples in his tone, tangled in his words.
“Salvatore, please don’t say that to me. You know it doesn’t.”
He balls his fist and presses into the counter. “You know what baby… this shit is going to follow me. I never fucking thought I would be able to accept this, but I’m fucking jealous of him. Can’t think straight or see for shit because I have this thing about him being with you before me.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“You were having his child Mimi. Yes it was like that.”
“Salvatore, stop… please. I don’t want this and I don’t want you guys not talking either.”
He gives me a pointed look and stares at me long and hard.
“Answer me honestly, be real with me and tell me the honest truth. I can handle it… let’s pretend Gabe wasn’t a prick who put you through shit. Wipe away that whole bad memory. If you had a choice between me or him who would you pick?”
I stare back, studying him and I think back to that day when I was eighteen and he was teaching me to fight. Some guy was following me and while I managed to escape it freaked me out. Gabe took charge of the lesson and it was like something changed between the three of us. I remember that moment how Salvatore looked. Pretty much like he does now.
The thing I’ve always felt for him knows the answer. It’s easy.
“You… I pick you. I choose you,” I say with a small smile and he presses his forehead to mine, holding me.
“Thank you. It means a lot to know.”
Our lips meet for a kiss. It’s not wild like the kisses we’ve shared over the last few weeks. This one is subtle… sweet and so different to what we are. It holds a promise of what we could be and I want it.
A piece of the wall I placed up around my heart crumbles because I want this with him.
More than anything.