# 2 — Chapter 17
Arabella
I snuck out of Carmelo’s room before sunrise.
The entire day was exhausting and I was afraid Gaetano was going to insist I stay the night with him. I told him I was too tired and was planning on seeing my Nonno before I retired for the night-which wasn’t a lie.
I visited Nonno and found him to be pleasant, as if being frail and dying is making him a better person. He seemed more sympathetic and happy just talking to me. Nonno asked me all sorts of questions regarding what I’ve been doing the past few years of my life. He took interest in my life with Vinny and Luca. He was even curious and excited to hear about his newest great granddaughter, Viola.
When he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, I went back to my room to shower before sneaking into Carmelo’s. I had wanted to be with a friend. I needed to feel a sense of safety and security after being with the psychopath. I let the water fall over my head as I closed my eyes and tried to wash away the day spent with Gaetano. The man is a monster. He plays the friendly, lovable guy and one wrong step he won’t hesitate to end your life. He has no feelings! No remorse.
After my little escapade with Carmelo I crawled into my own bed and tried to get a bit more sleep before starting the day. I roll over and wince at the bruise forming on my hip from Carmelo gripping me too hard. We’ve always been a passionate bunch in bed. He’s a fun lay. I smile to myself remembering last night. It felt so good that I nearly screamed, he had to hold his hand over my mouth while I came. My nails raked over his already scarred back creating new ones.
The smell of food is what motivates me to get out of bed. I grab my phone and look over at the time to see it’s noon. They must be having lunch. Considering I have no plans for today, that I know of yet, I put on a simple faded yellow T-shirt and black jean shorts. After lunch I might just come back to put my bathing suit on and enjoy the inground pool out back.
At the dining room is Lazzaro at the head of the table and next to him on his right is Emilia and next to her is my nephew, Gabriel. On Laz’s left is Gaetano. My breath hitches. He looks me up and down and smirks. He stands and wipes his mouth with a cloth napkin.
“Bella,” he motions to the seat next to him, “Sit. Eat with me.”
If he’d never killed the butler in front of me or told me what he did to his cousin’s wife, I would be swooning and rushing to sit next to him. He’s that charming. Even his cologne is luring me to be close to him. Warily, I walk over and take the seat next to him not wanting to upset and embarrass him in front of his boss and bosses family. I hate the weakness in my moves, I want to stand up. I want to tell him the wedding is off, I want to tell him I can’t be the one to give him children, and I want to not sit with him at lunch. Frankly, I am letting him get away with all of this because I’m genuinely scared for my life. Behind his beautiful brown eyes is a cold, distant look that makes me shiver. I hadn’t noticed before, but he has a deep scar starting at his jawline near his ear and going down his neck.
“I trust Arabella was on her best behavior yesterday?” Lazzaro raises his eyebrow and stabs a piece of pasta.
“She most certainly was,” he smirks, no doubt remembering the hot kiss we shared before I found out he is bat-shit crazy. “She is exactly as you said. Beautiful, young, and fruitful. I am very pleased, young Don.”
I look over at Lazzaro expecting to see him scowl or say something back, but he nods. He nods as though he is scared to say something back. Young Don isn’t exactly the most respectful thing to spurt to your superior. It dawns on me that even though Laz beats him in rank, Gaetano beats him in seniority.
Last night I had asked Nonno about Gaetano. He told me that Gaetano’s father was the consigliere and one of Nonno’s best friends. He died when Gaetano was nineteen and at twenty he took over his father’s spot as consigliere. He’s helped Nonno run the Cosa Nostra as he gradually got sicker and eventually he called Lazzaro to fill in. Gaetano, along with Nonno, have used Laz as their apprentices. A Don in learning.
When Gaetano finally looked away from me and gave his plate some attention, as if by reflex, I curl my lip in disgust.
“Arabella, may I speak to you out in the hall?” Lazzaro stands and without listening to my reply, he walks out the dining room doors.
I give a small smile at Emilia and Gabriel who are staring at me from across the table as I excuse myself to see what Laz wants.
“You better not ruin this for me!” Crap. He must’ve seen the look I gave him.
“But Laz-” I attempt to argue. Maybe I should tell him I’m infertile. Maybe Laz and I can find out some way to stop this marriage and keep everyone alive. If the only reason he’s looking to get married is to put a baby inside of me, it’s never going to happen.
“No!” He raises his hand, cutting me off. “Gaetano is my consigliere. Ever since Nonno announced I would be taking over, Gaetano has been skeptical. He thinks I’m too young and stupid to take over, but time after time I’ve been proving myself and now I’ve finally found him a wife! Do you know how picky that man is?” I might have an idea. “Finally you’re the one he wants. You come from a high ranking family and I can be the man who hands you over like a prize. You will not make a mockery of me or ruin this for me. You will marry him and be as fucking subordinate as all the other wives. Do you hear me?” He asks through gritted teeth.
“But Laz, you don’t understand!” I cry out.
He shakes his head. “Am. I. Understood?”
Shaking with rage I blurt out, “I’m infertile!”
Lazzaro puts his hand on my mouth and drags me into a private room instead of the hallway. “What the fuck did you just say?”
“I can’t have children.”
Lazzaro clenches his fits and turns his back to me. He curses under his breath and runs a frustrated hand through his slicked back hair. “Fuck!” He shouts and pivots on his heel to face me again. His face is red with anger. “How long have you known this?”
“Since my marriage to Luca.”
“Does anyone else know? Do you know how much deep shit I’ll be in if Gaetano finds out? He doesn’t like to be lied to and pissing him off is not a good idea.”
“No one else knows except for Liliana-but she can keep a secret, and you didn’t lie! He’ll understand it’s a mistake and I’m not the one for him, right?” I chew on my bottom lip nervously.
“I told him you were at your prime for your childbearing years! I told him you didn’t have kids with your previous husbands because you were waiting until you were a bit older. Fuck, I didn’t know you never had kids because you can’t have kids! He’ll think you lied to considering you haven’t told him either.”
“What do we do?” I take short gasping breaths.
“Calm down,” Lazzaro says harshly and shakes his head. “You can’t say a word. You can’t say anything. The marriage is still on.”
“And what happens after a year and I still haven’t given him any children? He will know something is wrong and he’ll kill me!”
Lazzaro begins to pace the room. “We will figure something out. We can fake a pregnancy… right?”
“Are you crazy?” My eyebrows crease together. “There’s no way I can fake a pregnancy! He’ll figure it out when I am at the stage to start showing.”
“We can get you a fake stomach.”
“And if he wants to have sex?”
“Tell him you feel gross and for him to take a mistress.”
That might work. Unless he gets aggressive and forces me-which is not uncommon in mafiosi. “Even if that works, what happens when it is time to give birth?”
Lazzaro snorts, “It’s not that hard to find a baby.”
“I mean what if he wants to watch me give birth?”
He thinks for a few seconds before snapping his fingers, “You’ll ‘go into labor’ when he’s off in a mission too far away and when he gets back, the baby will already be born.”
I had to admit, if everything worked as perfectly as we’ve thought it out, it could work. “You really think we could pull that off?”
He swallows hard. “It’ll have to do.”
I nod and rub my sweaty hands on the material of my shorts. “Okay. I trust you.”
“Don’t ruin this or else we’ll both end up dead.”
I grab Lazzaro’s arm when he heads toward the exit pulling him back into a conversation. “What’s… wrong with him?”
“He’s bitter. He wanted Nonno to pick him to take over. Gaetano has had twelve years of being consigliere under his belt. He’s ruthless and not afraid to make the hard decisions. Did you know he killed his own father to take over?”
“Nonno told me Gaetano’s father died but I had no idea…”
“That he was the one? He told me. He threatened me when he first found out I would be the new Don. He told me that if he saw me make one wrong decision or didn’t put the Cosa Nostra first, he would kill me.”
“And we can’t kill him?” I ask boldly.
Lazzaro shakes his head. “As much as I hate to admit it, he’s a great mafiosi. He’s not afraid to do what needs to be done and everyone of high rank respects him and is on his side. I’m the outsider here. I need to earn their respect.” With that he walks away leaving me to the small living area in the back of the house.
If we don’t pull this off Gaetano will kill me. I can only imagine him wrapping his arms around me and feeling just how fake the pregnancy stomach is. He’ll rip the belly off of me and shoot me in the face. Then he’ll go for my brother and who knows who else. My heart beats with anxiety. How can I ever go through with this? It’s mad.
I’m afraid that either way I chose, telling him the truth and breaking off the marriage or pretending, will have the same morbid results.
But I’ve always been good at pretending. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. If I tell myself it enough maybe I’ll pull I’ll actually believe it and pull it off. Maybe I just have to do it one time, I’m sure he’d be fine with one child. That’s enough right? Lazzaro can hand pick the gender-a son of course.
A whole new sense of dread fills me. I would be a mother. Being a mother has never been a dream of mine and never will. Even if I wasn’t infertile I have never wanted kids. I don’t want the domesticated life that has always been planned and expected of me. I don’t want to be a stay at home mother to my ‘adopted’ child.
With the loss of my appetite, I head back up to my room and decide to put on my swimsuit. Maybe getting some sun and exercise will do me good. I put on my favorite hot pink bikini and white wrap before heading outside into the pool.
The sun is hot and high in the sky and I put on some tanning oil and soak up some vitamin D. I lay on one of the lounge chairs next to the pool and close my eyes letting the rays warm my body. I begin to think of Carmelo and wonder what he’s doing. Lately he’s been so exhausted watching over me at night, he’s been sleeping majority of the day away.
“Ciao,” a soft feminine voice comes from above me. The sun is now blocked by a shadow.
I crack one eye open. “Emilia,” I sit up and smile at my sister-in-law. She’s not your typical beauty-queen and definitely not who I expected my superficial brother to marry.
When he was in high school the girls I saw him with were tall, skinny, blondes. Emilia is the complete opposite. Her thighs are thick as well as her ass. Her breasts double-d’s. Her body is curvy at her hips. She chunky, maybe one-hundred and ninety pounds if I had to guess.
Emilia is in no way ugly. She’s beautiful and rocks the black one-piece swimsuit she’s wearing. Her long black hair is braided in one ponytail at the back of her head. She’s not wearing any makeup, but she doesn’t need it. Her lips are full and pink and her eyes look almost a burnt orange color in the sunlight. She has a large birthmark near the corner of her mouth on her upper lip.
“Are you going to sunbathe with me?” I sit up and touch the blue lounge chair next to me.
“Sì,” she replies in Italian which tells me she may not be very fluent in English.
“Where Gabriel?” I ask in her native tongue.
“He is at lessons with his father.”
“Lessons?”
“Self-defense. Nothing too extreme.”
“Oh,” I nod my head. Gabriel was too young to start learning to be a mafiosi. Usually when you’re a teenage and you make your first kill you’re initiated. At Gabriel’s age self-defense makes sense. When my brothers were young they learned self-defense by my father-my sister and I weren’t allowed.
“You never returned to lunch after your talk with Lazzaro, is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine,” I won’t risk telling Emilia what we talked about. I won’t drag her into the lies and make her an asset to what feels like a crime. The lying, secrets, and deception makes the entire situation feel dirty and churns my stomach so much I feel nauseous. The risk of getting caught will be enough to keep me awake tonight with obsessive thoughts of ways Gaetano will kill Laz and me. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” she smiles willingly.
“How did you and my brother fall in love? I mean he’s not the most romantic and loving person.”
Emilia laughs, “But he is! Lazzaro is the sweetest man I have ever met. When he arrived in Italy and I first laid my eyes on him, I knew he was it. We locked eyes and we both were rendered breathless. He was the one to ask me out on a date. The way he smiled at me… no boy has ever looked at me like that. He looked at me with such passion as if I was the most beautiful girl in the world. He is the best husband I could have ever had and he is a great father to Gabriel.”
Her response shocks me. I had never seen or heard of this side of Lazzaro. He has always come off as a misogynistic bastard, who would only look at girls with long legs, slim waists, and huge busts. He was a one-night stand man, never wanted to get close or form relationships with people. He always said feelings complicate things. Always said that romance wasn’t a part of the mafia, you only married for children and political advantage.
Feelings as a man of the mafia makes one weak-that lesson is taught to all Men of Honor. Vinny believed it, Luca did, Rocco, my father, Domenico, Christina’s husband, and even Antonio. Even as girls we were told to spread our legs and do as we were told. We were never told to expect to be loved, we were only told to expect protection in return.
“Gaetano is a good man too. His sister was my best friend so I grew up knowing the family. He is the best man here to protect you-aside from my Lazzaro.”
I give her a tight lipped smile. “I sure hope so.”
I stand and stretch my body before running and jumping into the pool where it is five-feet deep. The splash I make gets on Emilia and to my surprise she begins to laugh and jumps in with me.
“I’ve missed having a girl to talk to.”
“What about Gaetano’s sister? Aren’t you still friends with her?” I wipe water off my face.
“She moved away and is married to a very protective man. We don’t talk much. I am an only child too, so I don’t really have anyone except for Lazzaro.”
“But you can’t exactly talk girl-talk with him,” I frown. “Well, here I am. For good. When I marry Gaetano I’ll be just across the way. We can visit each other all the time.”
“And when you have a kid, our kids will be cousins. That will be so nice for them.”
“It will,” I try to pretend everything is okay. I kick my legs out and move my arms as I begin to do laps in the pool. Emilia joins me and we continue talking about our lives and I tell her about growing up in Chicago and tell her stories of when Lazzaro was little.
My muscles feel sore from exercise I haven’t done in forever and is also sore from last night spent with Carmelo. Back when I was married to Vinny I used to go to the gym and run all the time to keep my figure how he liked it. When Vinny died I kind of let myself go and never got back into it. Emilia and I spent a good portion of the day in and out of the pool and just an hour from sunset, we decide to go into the round inground hot tub next to the pool. Even though it’s nearly ninety degrees Fahrenheit, the hot water soothes my aching body.
Just as I start to close my eyes and begin the ultimate relaxation, another shadow blocks the sun.
“Mind if I join you?” I know that baritone, accented voice. It’s Gaetano.
“I’ll leave you both. Have a good soak,” Emilia winks as she exits the hot tub, grabs her towel, and walks back into the house.
Great. I’m left alone with the psycho.
Even though he asked if he could join, he steps in anyways. He’s wearing navy colored swim trunks, but what I’m staring at is the body before me. His chest was sculpted by God. His pectorals are large with muscle, his abdomen has deep ridges showing off a six-pack, and his biceps are bigger than my head.
What catches my attention the most are the scars and tattoos plastered all over this body. Even the white scars are clearly visible on black ink. My fingers twitch and I have to tell myself not to reach out and touch him. He’s oozing with sensuality and temptation.
Gaetano sits across from me and the second I let out a breath of relief for him not sitting directly next to me. He leans over and grabs my hips. He pulls me from my seat and onto his lap so I’m straddling him. His hands rest on my ass keeping me close. The smile on his face is vicious and hungry as if he’s about to devour the prey he’s caught.
“Tell me about yourself, Bella,” he whispers.
“What do you want to know?” If my heart beats any faster it’s going to explode.
“Everything,” his fingers curl digging more into my ass and squeezing my cheeks.
“I don’t know really know what to say,” I shrug at a loss of words. Personally, I didn’t feel like telling him anything. I don’t want to tell him things about me, not anything as innocent as my favorite color nor something vulnerable from intimate moments in my life and childhood.
“Then let’s not talk,” his lips go to my lips and I involuntarily moan.
My neck has always been a weakness. Whenever Vinny wanted to initiate in sex all he had to do was leave hickeys on my neck and I’d spread for him. My head falls back and I’m too weak to stop him. I want to stop him. I should stop him, but I love the feel of his lips on my body.
“Stop,” I say breathlessly. I don’t make any move to push him off me, but I hope he has enough sense to stop for my sake.
“Why?” I can feel his hot breath on my neck. Between that, the sun, and this hot tub, I’m ready to pass out from the heat. “We could do it right here and no one would care,” he whispers in my ear.
“Because,” I close my eyes and fight the desire. “We should wait for our wedding night.”
That causes him to pull back. I open my eyes to see his face. His eyebrow is cocked and he’s giving me and incredulous look. “But you are not a virgin so what does it matter?”
It doesn’t. That’s the same philosophy Luca went with when he took me against my will the first time we had sex. “I like to uphold tradition,” I come up with an excuse.Nôvel(D)rama.Org's content.
“Do you know how long I’ve waited for a girl like you?” He nibbles on my jawline.
“There are many girls like me,” I gulp.
“No, Bella, there is only one like you. So young with your smooth, tight skin. You smell of the freshest peach and you even taste like one. You’re stunning,” his lips move to mine. His tongue probes begging for entrance and I hate that I oblige. I’m too scared to deny him. Terrified to piss him off.