Madness: Part 2 – Chapter 60
I spent the day shopping with the girls. The ones who know who I really am. I’m struggling to know the real me. I like who I am with Haidyn—Charlotte—but I like the life that Annabelle gets to live. She’s not a fake. She’s part of a secret society, but she knows where she belongs.
Charlotte is the lie. She has a fake life and fake friends, but she has Haidyn. He’s the realest thing I’ve ever had in my life.
It’s getting complicated and harder to differentiate between the two people I’m supposed to be. Why can’t I have both?
Then the text. I’ve been trying to decide who I want to be for the rest of my life because I have to choose at ten o’clock tonight.
Give him up or myself.
I needed to clear my head and buy myself some time, so I went shopping. I spent all day blowing money, thinking it would help me. It’s by far the dumbest thing I’ve ever done, but I needed to try something.
Pulling my SUV into the garage, I get out and pop the hatch. It takes both hands to grab all the bags, and even then, it’s a struggle. I even leave the back open and garage up as I get them into the house. I place them all on the kitchen island and turn on the light.
I pull a bottle of wine from the fridge and open it before pouring it into a glass. Checking my cell, I see that I have two hours before Haidyn will be here. He was the only thing on my mind while shopping today. I bought outfits for him, which sounds so stupid in the long run. Not because he doesn’t care what I wear, but because I’ll never see him again after ten o’clock.
I’m trying to convince myself that they just want to talk to him. But even I laugh at that thought. But what if it’s just a test for me? I show up, and they say they just wanted to see if I’d do it?
I take my previous statement back. That was the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.
Tossing back the wine, I swallow the cold liquid, hoping it will drown me and make the decision for me. I feel like turning Haidyn in is betraying me now. But can I live with myself, not knowing what will happen to him? I’ve seen the videos and how he stood up for Ashtyn. What he’s been through. What if he’s just misunderstood?
I can be that woman for him, right? I’ve handled him so far. I want him to see me differently. Again, so fucking stupid.
Making my way to my bedroom, I pass the living room and come to a stop when I see someone sitting on my couch. The lights are off, but I can see the shadowy figure. I want to be afraid, but instead, I smile that he’s here. I flip the switch on the wall. “You’re early…”
My words trail off when the light illuminates the room, and the man who I thought was sitting on my couch, isn’t. “Wesley?” I ask, my heart is now racing. “What are you doing here?” I look around the room and see he’s alone. Not like I expected him to be with someone else. It’s just become a habit.
He’s sitting on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, looking down at the coffee table. My eyes follow his, and I take a step back when I see the small jewelry box sitting on the glass. The same one that Haidyn tied me to weeks ago, and I came all over. Back when I thought he was my biggest threat and now I’m his.
My mind always goes to him. He’s consuming my life. It’ll be over tonight. I immediately stop that train of thought.
“Where have you been?” He looks up, and his eyes glare at me.
I straighten my shoulders, not liking the accusation in his tone. The Lords made me date him. I didn’t want a boyfriend. “I was shopping,” I answer honestly. The last time we texted was three days ago. I had sent him a Photoshopped picture of me. He never responded, and I never gave him another thought.
“You can’t answer your phone.” He arches a brow.
“It died earlier.” Lie. I turned it off, needing to clear my mind. I know that Haidyn is tracking my every move with the tracker in my neck, but I didn’t want him to be able to reach me because of how I acted during our phone call earlier. I couldn’t let him know that something was going on.
“I know you’re cheating on me.”
His words are a relief. “I’m—”
He laughs, interrupting me. “You can save your lies.”
“I wasn’t going to lie,” I whisper. “I was going to say sorry.”
“Sorry?” His laughter grows. “You think that word means shit to me?” he screams, jumping to his feet.
I take another step back.
He holds up his right hand, and in it is the notebook I gave Haidyn for our sessions. He opens it up and reads it out loud. “Haidyn’s dirty little whore. Over and over…”
I step to the side as he throws it toward me, missing my face.
“I told you all about Sally. And how she cheated on me. And you do the same?” He picks up the box and throws it across the room as well. It hits the wall; the box opens and then slides down the hall.
“Wesley—”
“I knew you’d be another fucking whore.”
My stomach knots at his words because they’re true. I’m a whore. Haidyn’s whore, just like I wrote in the notebook. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I say, “I told you that I wanted—”
“To be fucked?” He gives another rough laugh. “And we decided to wait. To have a relationship based on love and respect. Not sex.”
I wrap my arms around myself and bow my head. Haidyn always tells me to use my words. To speak what I want. I did that with Wesley, and he didn’t listen. Or he did and just didn’t like what he heard. Being with Haidyn has taught me a lot. I’ve always known sex was a big factor with the Lords. My mother raised me to believe that it’s big in any relationship. Lords or not—you see sex everywhere you look. Billboards, books, magazines, social media. There’s nothing wrong with that.NôvelDrama.Org content rights.
“You decided.” I look up at him through my lashes. “You decided for us that I didn’t need it.” His jaw sharpens. “But I told you how I felt. I wanted that connection with you.” I couldn’t be more grateful that he turned me down that night. I’m glad Haidyn was my first…at everything.
“So it’s my fault that you’re a cheating whore.” He nods to himself. “Got it. Just like Sally and blaming me for your infidelities.”
“No,” I say. “I chose to do that on my own.” But did I? I didn’t have a choice. First, the Lords tell me to remain a virgin, then they tell me to give Haidyn whatever he wants. I’m nothing more than a piece of the puzzle they can place wherever they want to make the story fit. Now they want me to be part of getting rid of the man I think I’m falling in love with.
“I have been faithful.” He points at his chest. “Do you know how many chances I’ve had to fuck around on you, but I didn’t? I knew we had something special.”
“Wesley—”
“I knew that what I wanted was long term with you,” he screams.
I don’t know what to say to that because it was never meant to be more than what it was. He was a filler in my life. A stepping stone to get to where the Lords want me to be. “I’m sorry, Wesley. I really am.”
He snorts and pulls his suit jacket on, buttoning it closed. His eyes drop to my tennis shoes and run up over my leggings and hoodie. When they meet mine, I see the anger and betrayal I’ve caused him. “Now you’re just like every slut there is out there.” He comes over to stand in front of me, and I swallow nervously. “When he’s done with you, he’ll throw you to the side, and you’ll realize I was the better man.” With that, he turns and walks past me out the front door, slamming it shut.
A part of me is relieved. That’s a lie I no longer have to keep up with. But it doesn’t help my conscience with what I have to do with Haidyn. I down the rest of the glass of wine.
HAIDYN
I pull up to her house to see her garage door open and her SUV parked inside with the hatch up. I park my bike inside next to it, shut her hatch, and close the garage door when I enter the house.
She’s been ignoring me all day by keeping her phone off. And although I’ve been tracking her, not being able to speak to her is unacceptable. Especially since I know someone had that guy watching her. Since the guy is locked up at Carnage, they will hire someone else to follow her.
Walking down the hallway, I see an open box on the floor. I pick it up to see it’s black and the interior is padded with a light blue satin. I close the box and open it back up. It’s for a ring. But it’s empty. I close it and place it in the pocket of my leather jacket.
I make my way into the kitchen to see bags piled up on the kitchen table. Being myself, I start to open them up to find lingerie. A sexy black lace teddy. A pair of black Christian Louboutin heels. Some more lingerie and then underwear. Another pair of heels.
She spent the day shopping.
Leaving everything, I head to her bedroom and find the bathroom door open with her phone on the counter. Spotify is open, and she’s blaring “Dirty Thoughts” by Chloe Adams.
She’s got her dark hair up into a messy bun on top of her head, and a bottle of wine sits on the side of the tub. It’s halfway gone. The tub is filled to the brim with water and so many bubbles that they’re sliding down the side of the tub to the floor. Her head rests on the fluffy white pillow, and a washcloth lays over her eyes.
I crouch down next to the tub and pick up the corner of the washcloth, slowly pulling it off her face. Her head rolls to the side, and her eyes open to meet mine. “Rough day, doll face?”
She sighs and turns her head to stare up at the ceiling but says nothing.
“What happened?”
“Wesley found out about you.”
I frown. “Who is Wesley?” As I ask, it comes to mind. “Ahh, the boyfriend.”
“As if you ever cared that I had one to begin with.”
“I didn’t,” I say, and she gives a rough laugh. “What did he have to say?” I’m guessing she means by found out about me is in regard to fucking her. If it was Lords related, she’d be freaking out because he’s part of her fake life.
She lifts her left arm from the tub. A diamond sparkles on her bubble-covered hand. “He was going to propose.”
Now the jewelry box in my pocket makes more sense. “Kinda small, isn’t it?” I joke.
“Funny how he thought I would marry him.” She gives another laugh. “He didn’t even know me. Not the real me.”
I remember our conversation in bed when she said, “Don’t you want someone you know will love you unconditionally?”
Looking at my watch, I see it’s almost seven. “Come on.” I stand and grab her towel. “Dinner is in an hour. We need to get going soon.”
I see her tense, and her breathing picks up at my reminder of our plans tonight. She reaches for the bottle of wine and begins to down it. Then she stands, and I notice her eyes can’t meet mine. Instead, she stares at my T-shirt while allowing me to wrap the towel around her.
“You sure everything is okay?” I ask, cupping her face and forcing her eyes to mine.
She blinks, her lashes fanning her cheeks before she swallows nervously. “Yeah, just tired.”
I frown at the lie but let it slide. She’s keeping secrets but so am I. I’m not going to tell her what I did today or that someone had hired that man to follow her. I don’t want to scare her. There’s nothing for her to worry about. I have it taken care of.