Loving Quinn Novel by North Rose

(Annora’)

Trauma Trigger W**

This night has gone better than I expected. The auction was fun to watch. When Aaron went up on stage, I couldn’t help but laugh. He looked like he belonged right there. That is far from the teenage boy I met so long ago.

Those were the days when his attire ranged from ripped jeans and t-shirts of his favorite bands to swim trunks and flip-flops. Now, looking at him, it feels like I am looking at a stranger. His humor is the same and I see that boy in him sometimes. Yet, his eyes are different.

Gone are the soft eyes of innocence. Now he is guarded. His eyes give very little away unless he is angry. Quinn is the same way sometimes. That guarded, often haunted look is fading from his eyes, but now and then I see it there.

I wave to Rylan and Aaron as they leave.

“Are you ready to go home?” Quinn asks.

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ever at him. He is looking at me like he would rather be anywhere but here right now. On that, we agree. I nod my head, then watch as he stands, then hold his hand out to me. With a smile on my face, I take his hand and let him pull me to my feet.

Before he pulls me against him for a kiss, the sound of fireworks going off fills the air Quinn stiffens as he shoves me behind him. His head moves as if he is looking

for a threat. When he doesn’t find one, he turns around to face me.

1

The wild look in his eyes makes it feel like my

lurched

into my throat.

“I can’t be here, Annie.”

His voice sounds raw with panic as he continues to wildly look around the area. I can see the sweat form on his brow as his eyes go wide again when the next round of fireworks goes off. He must be back in the war zone he lived through.

I lay a hand on his arm, which instantly causes his head to swivel back to look at me. “Eyes on me. Focus on my voice and follow me to the car. Stay with me, Quinn

After taking his hand, I lead him through the crowd. There are still a lot of people out here, so it is taking longer than I want to reach the car. Every time another round of fireworks goes off, Quinn’s body jerks as if he has been hit, and he squeezes my hand tight.

By the time we reach the car, my hand hurts and he is shaking from head to toe. This is the most vulnerable I have ever seen him. Well, that isn’t true. The night he met our daughter for the first time, he was pretty vulnerable. However, this differs grutly from that.

“Quinn, I need the car keys”

When he doesn’t acknowledge me, I step close to him, then shove my hand into his pocket. The second my fingers close around his keys, I yank my hand out, then spin around to unlock the door. Once the doors are unlocked, 1 maneuver him towards the passenger

Getting him in the car was easier than I expected. He just slid into the seat like a wet noodle. The way his eyes are all glazed over worries me. I have no clue what to do for him. Getting him home is my priority.

After closing his door, I race to the driver’s side door.

“Get him somewhere quiet it soon as you can. Then just talk to him. That usually works for me.”

The sound of a male voice has me looking behind me. A man I have never met before but saw Quinn with earlier tonight is standing behind me. From the way be reres up when the next round of fireworks goes off makes me think he is a veteran

Mac he supplies his name for me when I give him a questioning look.

“Ah, he has mentioned you before. Have you ever driven a car like this, Mac?”

“I have.”

drive us home?”

He laughs and nods his head. I sigh in relief, then toss him the keys. Since there is no hack seat, this is going to be awkward.”

“Sit in his lap and buckle in

Ok, not as awkward as I thought. Why didn’t I think of that?

Quickly, I ran back around the hood of the car to the passenger side. After getting to a comfortable position on Quinn’s lap, I buckle us both in. Mac climbs into the car, then glances over at me after he closes the door

“He used to talk about you during boot camp. I am glad he found you again.”

“I am too”

I wrap Quinn’s arms around my waist, thread my fingers through his, then hold on as Mac starts the car. C.see we are on the road, I can feel Quinn’s body relax. He bunes his face in the crook of my neck and safely hides in my hair.

The ride to the penthouse was quiet as Mac concentrated on just driving us home. I wanted to ask him what Quinn was like during that time, but kept quiet instead. Both men have seen their fair share of pain and I don’t want to drag that up now,

When we pull into the garage at the penthouse, Mac pulls into a spot close to the elevator, He gets out of the car, then walks around to the passenger door to open it for me. Quinn unwraps his arms from my waist and waits for me to climb off his lap.

After being cramped in the same position for so long, my legs have fallen asleep. So, when I step out of the car, I stumble. Strong arms around my waist prevent me from falling on my face. I look up into Mac’s surprised eyes. He makes sure I am steady on my feet before he lets go.

Quinn climbs out of the car, then gives Mac a nod of thanks. “Come upstairs while you wait for your car to arrive. We can talk about boot camp.”

Mac laughs, then follows us to the elevator,

Thirty minutes later, I am in comfortable clothes, sitting on the couch next to Quinn, He and Mac each have a glass of bourbon and have shed their tuando jackets. Mac is now lounging on the sofa across from us and is in the middle of telling me about a particularly annoying commanding officer.

“He took a dislike to Quinn and Aaron from the get go. He would make them do double duty for anything he found they did wrong. Even if they did nothing wrong. he would still come at the

“Did you ever figure out why he was like that?” I ask.

“No, but he took an instant dislike to me when I stood up for them. He made the rem of our time miserable until we graduated. When we all ended up on the same squad for our first deployment rather than getting separated, we were shocked.”

“We had a wild time on the night before we shipped out. If I recall, you and Aaron ended up puking out the windows of the car on the way-back to base.” Quinn bugha

Mac chockles, then looks down at his phone. “Well, my ride is here. I will leave you two. Annora, it was a plenie to finely get to know you after all these years,”

give him a nod as Quinn stands up to walk with him to the door. I grab the glasses off the coffee table, then take them to the kitchen: After sitting them in the

Tom around to head upstairs. Quinn is waiting for me at the base of the stairs.

That haunted look is back in his eyes as he holds his hand out for me. I walk to him, then take his hand. Wordlessly, he leads me up to our room. When we reach the

edroom, he lets go of my hand, then head straight to the bathroom.

I give him the space that I can clearly see that he needs, Curling up on the bed with my back against the headboard, I wait for him to che back out. The sound of the shower running let me know I will have some time. So, I call my parents to check in o Grace.

“Morima!” Grace screams into the phone is my mom puts her on the line.

“Hello my baby.”

“Men! I am not a baby.”

“You will always be my baby, no matter how old you are.”“

I can imagine the eye-roll she is doing, and 1 smule,

“Where is dad?”

My gaze flicks toward the open bathroom door. I can hear the shower still running. Worry slithers through me, but I keep it to myself.

“He is getting ready for bed. We had a long right at a charity event.”

“Tell him goodnight for me.”

We chat for a few more minutes before she ends the call. I glance over at the bathroom door as I place my cell phone on the bedside table. This time I get out of bed to go check on Quinn The shower is still going, which is concerning since he is usually quick when be bathes.

am in there with him.

Unless I am in

The sight that greets me when I walk to the shower stall makes me gasp. Quinn is on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest. His head is down on his knees, and I can’t see his face.

I don’t need to see his face to know that he is sobbing. The steady shaking of his shoulders gives that away. Without hesitation, 1 pull the glass door open, then shiny my body behind him. I slip my arms around his waist, my legs on either side of his, then press my cheek to his back.

The wa

water soaks through my clothes as I hold him. I don’t care at all. My only concern is getting Quinn through this. He lifts his head after a few minutes but says nothing as he just sits there with the water pounding down on us.

“We were all sitting around base camp one night, joking, ribbing each other, or playing cards, just like we did during most of our downtime. The surrounding area was calm. There was no reason for us to think an attack was imminent.”

He was quiet for so long after I joined him that when he spoke, I jumped a little. After he starts his story, I press my cheek to his back again, then wait for him to tell me more. I slide my hand up to his chest to cover his heart.

It is beating fast, as if he is living through that night in his mind,

“The sound of mortar fire rocked the entire camp. The first one hit the communications building. We scrambled to our feet, grabbed our weapons, then the second mortar hit the mess hall. It flung me back as the building exploded.”

Quinn’s entire body shudders as he remembers.

“They hit us with mortar rounds for what felt like hours, but in reality, was only about twenty to thirty minutes before we finally stopped them. We lost over twenty soldiers, three civilian consultants, and two of the dogs from the bomb detection unit

1 Siterally have no words to express my horror and sorrow for what he went through.

“We pulled out of that location three days later, after we located our target. The loss was heavy for us.”

The fireworks were a trigger for him. I knew that the second I saw if face earlier. Now I know what and understand one of his PTSD triggers better. This will help me

help him in the future.

“Did I hurt you at all during my episode?”

1kh his back then lift my head up. “No, You Weat almost catatonic by the time we riched the car. Like you were locked in your mind. Mac was a tremendous help tonight. Was he there during that fight?”

No, he was in another unit by then.”

3/

I start to shiver as the water has long gone cold by now. Quinn glance over his shoulder at me. That haunted look is still there in his eyes, but he is less tense than he was when I climbed in behind him

“Come on, let’s get out of here, get you changed into dry clothes, then we can climb to bed.”

Twenty minutes later, 1 am in one of my long night slits curled up in bed beside Quinn. He is on his back with me pressed against his side. His hand is running up and down my back idly as he stares up at the ceiling.

1 throw my leg up over his waist and slide my hand over his chest until it rests over his heart. It is now heating calmly, so I take this as a suitable time to tell pass

along Grace’s message.

“I talked to Grace earlier. She wanted to me to tell you goodnight.”

“Is she having fun with your parents!”

“Yes, they went to an outdoor market and Grace found some gifts for us

about trying for another baby?

“Were you serious

This question catches me off guard. I remember telling him that and I have an a

an appointment later in the week to have my IUD removed. I really want another baby with Quinn. This time I want to give him all the experiences be missed out on when I was pregnant with Grace.

“Yes, I want to make more hables with you.”

“Even if Logan turns out to be mine.”

I roll on top of him the sit up so I can look down at him. His face is so serious. It makes me want to reassure him I am not going anywhere. His see-green eyes lock on mine as I straddle him

“No matter what the DNA tells us, I want to have more babies with you. I love you, Quinn. Making babies with you will give me immense joy. If Logan tums out to be your son, then I will help you raise him like he was my own.”

Shock ripples across his face. “You really mean that? About Logan?”

“Absolutely. I may hate his mother, but he is innocent. I think a part of me loves him already, even though we don’t know it he is yours or not. How that b**h can use that poor innocent baby as a pawn in her sick games i……….”

Quinn

sits up swiftly and kisses me before I finish my rant. I let out a squeal of surprise as he neverses our position by tipping me over onto my back. He wraps both of his hands around my wrists, then raises my arms above my head.

“I love you, Annie.”

“I love you too, Quinn

“How many bubles do you want to make with me?”

1 laugh as he grinds his erection against my core. “I still have my IUD in, but when get it removed, I think two more will be perfect.”

His lips descendanto mine in for a kiss that starts off sweet but soon spirals into passion. We make love through the light, then fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms. I dream about what our future children will look like.

I hope they all have his eyes Like Grace does.