Love for the Librarian

The next few days we did everything together. My mom enjoyed having Dylan around and made us all breakfast every morning. I think she may have seen it as a way to keep me in town longer. Katelyn would ask me daily if we were still leaving, I had no answer for her. I know I had a plan, but I didn’t want to cut my time short with Dylan. Dylan and I didn’t talk about it, even when he helped me to pack. It was like an inevitability that sat in the corner of our minds. I would leave some day.

Two nights before I was scheduled to leave I figured it was time to talk to Dylan about it. Maybe I would stay but it would only be for a little while. “Dylan, I think we need to talk.”

I was sitting at my desk and he was lounging on my bed. He looked up at me and said, “No one wants to hear those words babe.”

“I know but we do need to talk. I am supposed to leave in two days. What are we doing?”

Dylan sighed, “I think I should tell you something. Maybe it will show you how much I care about us.” I let him talk although the silence that follows is deafening. He is quiet for at least five minutes. “Ok, this is hard for me to say. So you remember that day in Mr. Harman’s class when Brittney asked to talk to me.” He waits for me to nod. “It wasn’t my dad that had said there was a problem, it was Brittney. She said that she was pregnant. She thinks it’s mine. I doubt it. I was far more careful with her. Plus she cheated on me. She told me that if I wanted to see the kid I would choose to be with her. I told her that I needed time to think about it. Then she told me that I had to meet her at that party and give her my answer. I almost told her yes, but then you came into that room and I saw it as a sign. I told her to get lost. She is still trying to pressure me with this kid. I am not sure what the hell she thinks is going to happen. I picked you.”

Tears are streaming down my face. He picked me over his child. What if it is his? He is going to abandon his child for me. “You were going to say yes.” It is a statement not a question.

He has his eyes on me. “Yes, but I didn’t. I have something else to tell you. You aren’t going to like it. When I first asked you to be my tutor it was to piss off Brittney, she doesn’t like you and I figured that I could hang out with you and piss her off. Then maybe she might want me back.”

He can see the look on my face so he gets quiet. “Get out.” That is all I can say. I am enraged.

He jumps off the bed, and runs to me pulling me to him. “Baby things are different now. I only want you.”Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

“Get out. What kind of man uses someone else to make a lying cheating slut come back to them? What kind of a man doesn’t even talk to his girlfriend about possibly having a kid with someone else? What kind of man abandons a child to a parent like Brittney? I am not saying that you had to be with her but there are legal actions that you could have taken. You need to leave.” I pull away from him as hard as I can.

“Baby, please. I wanted to come clean with you. Riley, I need you. Don’t leave me like this.” His grip is getting stronger.

“Dylan, get off me now. Get out.” I make sure every ounce of anger in my body is relayed to him. He looks in my eyes and sees it there and knows I am not listening to anything else.

He loosened his grip. “Baby, I will give you time. I love you, when you leave, don’t forget it. I know you will be back someday, I will be here waiting.” Then he is gone.

I sag down to the floor. I feel everything crashing down on me. I know what I am going to do now. There is no way I can stay in this town right now. I pick up my phone and call Katelyn. “Hey, we are leaving on time.”

She can hear the hurt in my voice. “I am going to kill him.” That’s my best friend, people. She doesn’t even know what happened but she is on my side.

“Let’s just leave. Tell Kevin. I just want to be out of here. I can’t be here any more.”

“Ok, I will. Do you want me to come over?” I can hear the concern in her voice.

“No, I just want to be alone right now. I will be ready on Friday. The movers should be here first thing. I will be ready by noon. I’ll meet you here then, ready to go.”

“Ok, let me know if you change your mind and I will be there in a flash.”

“I know. Thanks.” I end the call and I feel like I have ended everything with that call. All the last bit of strength that I had is gone. I fall into the hole that is ready to envelope me. I think at some point my mom came in to try to comfort me because the last thing I remember was being tucked into my bed. She knows not to prod, but I am sure she heard me yell at Dylan to get out. She knows what caused this, she is just going to give me time to deal.

Friday comes before I can even blink. Somehow in my stupor I have managed to finish packing. I think my mom helped a big deal. After Dylan she knew I wasn’t sticking around. So when the movers showed up first thing in the morning I was ready for them. I point them to the items I want taken. Which is almost everything, but the bed and desk. I leave those. They load up the truck in about an hour with my car attached to a tow dolly in the back. They will probably arrive at the house before me since we decided to make a trip out of it and take Katelyn’s SUV for a drive. Three thousand miles is quite a trip.

At noon Katelyn is at my house with Kevin. They both hug me before we load up. I throw my bag in the truck with theirs and kiss my mom and Aunt Polly then we are off. After a few miles of silence they look at me. “Want to tell us what happened cause this silence is going to grate on my nerves the whole ride?” Kevin, ever the subtle one.

“Dylan told me that I was a tool to get Brittney back. Ok, he said that was at first but still, who uses a person like that?”

Kevin grumbles. “I will kill him.”

“I’m not done. He started out telling me that Brittney is pregnant. He isn’t so sure that it is his but that night at the party he was going back to her. He said me showing up in the room was a sign that he shouldn’t. I don’t even know what the hell is going through that guy’s mind.”

Kevin shrugs. “Doesn’t change things, I am still going to kill him.”

Katelyn glares at him, “Get in line Romeo. I am going to kill him first. She is my best friend.”

“Mine too.”

I laugh then I look at Katelyn who is driving, “Romeo?”

She rolls her eyes. “This one seems to think he can woo me. So he has earned the nickname Romeo. Not that I think he is going to get very far but he can try all he wants.”

Kevin grins. “Oh, I will woo you. I will woo the shit out of you.”

I can’t help but laugh. These two are exactly what I needed in order to feel better. Don’t get me wrong I need the time to grieve for what Dylan and I had, but these two were going to make it better. “All for one, one for all.” I yell out and they follow me. “Alright, who has the booze? I know we are not taking this trip without any.” Kevin produces a bottle of tequila from the backseat.

“Your favorite. We are going to take turns driving today, so we won’t drink for now. You have no driving today so drink away.”

Katelyn looks at me, “We are going to take our time. Don’t worry I hired someone to be there when the stuff gets to the house. It is a cousin so he won’t screw me over. He’s going to watch the shit until we get there. Don’t worry, we are in a fun zone and we know you need to relax the most.”

I don’t hesitate and take the bottle, “Damn straight. Now music, I am going to drink and sing and whatever else I feel like until I pass out.”

Kevin nods. “This is going to be fun. Drunk Riley is a fun Riley.”

I passed out after an hour. I wake with a bad headache and we are sitting outside a crappy hotel. I look at Katelyn who is still in the driver’s seat but I don’t think that was how it was the whole time. “Morning sleepy head. Kevin is getting us checked in and we will get you in bed. I have some pain killers in my bag, and some hydration and you will wake up right as rain.”

I mumble something incoherent. I hope it sounds like “thank you.” I feel my phone vibrating. I look at it, it is a little fuzzy but I think I see my mom’s name. “Hello,” I groaned into the phone. I should really not be on this, but I promised my mom that I wouldn’t ignore her calls.

“Baby, you left already. I wanted to talk to you before you left. Your mom said you left this afternoon. Baby, please you need to talk to me.” Fuck wrong name.

“Dylan I don’t think I am in the position to talk right now. I need to have a good sleep right now. I will call you later when I feel more like talking.”

“Baby, please talk to me.” I ended the call. I really have no brain capacity for his crap.

I hand the phone to Katelyn, “Only give it to me if it is my mother. I have no desire to talk to him right now.” She doesn’t say anything as she takes the phone and slides it into her bag.

Kevin comes back and opens my door. “You are not going to believe this. I got us a room with three beds. They had this cool option. Two full sized beds and a twin. I am going to carry the bags. Katelyn you carry Riley.”

Katelyn laughs and comes to my side of the car to help me out of the car. When we make it to the room I am relieved to see that it is decent on the inside. I figured with the outside it would be crap. I just plop myself on the nearest bed. I feel Katelyn wrapping me up like a burrito.

I drift off. Later I hear Katelyn and Kevin talking. I keep my eyes closed because I really don’t want to open them, not because I am spying. “He keeps calling. I should answer and tell him to bug off.”

“She needs to do it. You know if he doesn’t call and she wants him to then she will be pissed. She just told you to hold it. Not to answer it.” Kevin is trying to sound sweet but I can tell he is just as pissed as Katelyn.

“Ok, so maybe I just want to tell him off.” Anger is rolling off of Katelyn.

“I do too, but it is her choice, not ours. If I had my choice I would have paid him a better visit before we left.”

“What do you mean a better visit?”

“Before we left I punched Dylan in the face. He didn’t even fight back, he just said that he deserved worse. I think he actually feels bad.”

“Doesn’t change what he did.” There is no sympathy from Katelyn.

“I know. I only feel a little bad for him. I really feel bad for Riley.”

“You know they slept together right. That was Riley’s first time. She doesn’t need that held over her head like this. She is going to have this strong pull to him, just because it was her first. She was really in love with him. She is going to be hurt for a while.”

“Were you hurt for a while?”

“Devastated. That is why I have no desire to revisit this.”

“Katelyn you know I am different right?” I can hear the sorrow in his voice. He wants her back.

“I know, I just don’t think I can put myself out there like that right now.” The anger has faded to her own sorrow. She likes him. She is just scared.

“I can wait. I am not going anywhere.”

Then I fade back out. It was getting personal anyway, they didn’t need me listening in.