Lonely Bride

Sarah’s povAll text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

Though I have seen this beautiful face many times and admire him as well, today it is different. Today I am feeling something else in my heart. And this feeling is so good.

My finger automatically touched his forehead, and I started tracking everything I was looking at.

My buttocks dropped and covered the little space I found on the hospital bed while I bent my body towards him.

I wanted to say so much.

I want to cry right now.

I wanted to make so many complaints, but I couldn’t.

My finger reached his pink lips, and I traced his not-so-thin lips.

I remember how it felt when it touched mine.

I know how this man was tested.

When my fingers stuck to his lips, my eyes looked down. His bare body and badges

Tears pooled back in my eyes, and a sudden pain erupted all over my heart.

It is so hard that I can’t even breathe.

A sudden panic rushed through me: Life without him.’

Though the doctor has already told me that he is feeling much better and should be up in a few days, just the thought of him without me scares me to the core.

“I know I am very stupid. I know I should have trusted you, but I didn’t.” My voice broke miserably while I wanted to vent my heart out.

“But can you please forgive me? Hmm?” I leaned my body more toward him and held his face in my palm.

“Can you not leave me the way everyone did, please?” I begged him…

“I can’t live without you, Sean. Please don’t leave me.” I hiccup

“I want to grow old with you.” I smiled while saying this.

“I want to make babies with you. Can you please don’t leave me, please? Hmm,” tears flowed freely from my eyes while I just begged him.

His face looks calm and composed, like it does all the time.

While looking at myself, I can say how important it is for a child to get the right upbringing. Look at my case. From childhood on, I never received any love or affection. I always crave it. I always felt jealous when, during vacation time, family members came and took the kids to their homes, but no one came for me. I was longing for love. And I guess whenever I get a tiny bit from anyone I have accepted with my open heart, I smile bitterly.

“There was no one to tell me how fake Ness has clouded the world. There was no one to guide me in correctly judging people. There was one to show me the right and wrong.” My lips wobble, and the pain hits me hard.

“I learn everything by my perception; hence, I went wrong not once but many times.” I shake my head disappointingly by myself.

“How I wish I could have had one person in my life to show me the light of wisdom, but I only go to the sorrow of loneliness. I never had anyone I could call mine. People I called mine have left me in the middle of the journey. Without even teaching me how to face this cruel world.” I sniff, thinking about my grandparents.

“You know it hurts. It hurts just to think you are alone. It hurts just knowing no one is there for you, and it hurts more when reality hits you hard and rubs on your face, saying, No, I will cry when you die.” I chuckle, thinking about my old days and how many times I have tried to leave this world.

“You know what? When you came into my life suddenly and unwantedly. I have accepted that fact, thinking it is my destiny, and at least I have someone to call mine. But when did you not accept me? Again, reality rubbed on my face, laughing at me. I cried. I cried so much.” I bit my lips to stop my sobs.

“And when I again accept the fact, you come back into my life.” I smile, looking at him, while tears flow down my cheeks and drop.

“But look at my bad luck. I lost you again because of my stupidity.” Pain rushes back, and the lips wobble.

“But amongst everything, if something has not left my side, it is my bad luck. Something or the other, but bad luck was always there.” I thought about rewinding my memory.

“But now I am tired. I am tired of everything. My bad luck, my stupidity, and everything. Now I want some peace.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“And you know where my peace is lying?” It’s in you.” I smile, looking at his face.

“Can you not leave me like everyone did, please?” I repeated it again like a kid.

I looked at his face while my heart was waiting for his answer, but I know I have to wait for the same.

I wish he could hear me. Because I don’t know when he will wake up, I might or might not be able to tell anything.

I creased his rough beard. I am used to seeing this man every time he is clean and fit, and looking at him right now is not soothing to my heart, but I can’t deny he is still looking hot.

Hot and sexy.

“You know, this beard looks good on you. This salt and pepper look is so perfect.” I suddenly spoke while my eyes were stuck to them.

“And between this salt and pepper, your pink lips look like strawberry macaroons.” I giggled while saying this.

“Please wake up. I miss you so much.” Saying, I pack on his lips.

I felt a current when my lips touched his, and I know it’s not the first time. I always feel the same way the moment this man touches me. He has some different effects on me. As if he has some spellbound on my body and it starts working automatically the way he wants.

But it hurt when he did not reciprocate for the first time.

“I can’t wait when you kiss me back and take the life out of me.” I whisper, looking at his face.

“Then we make a wait to a pretty lady like you.” A voice reached my eardrum while my eyes came out like a socket, looking at the man who had opened the eyes and looking directly into my soul.

I take a little time to understand if what I have seen is true or if I am just assuming.

And before I knew anything, my body pushed back toward him, and my lips sank into his. A rush of blood rushed down to my spine, and I felt a sudden electrified energy in my vein.

**