Leave Me Behind

Bradshaw stumbles to my side and bends at his knee, looking over at the dead soldiers. He looks confused, but clearer now. His eyes aren’t distant anymore.

“Bunny, are you okay?” When I don’t respond, he manually searches my body for wounds and pauses each time he finds my flesh bleeding profusely. He swallows as he curls my sliced hand into itself with a cloth between my fingers to staunch the bleeding. He immediately moves to my forearm next.

“He said ‘It’s her’ to someone.” I look Bradshaw in the eyes and search for secrets he might be harboring. “Who was he talking to?”

Bradshaw’s eyes harden and his lack of response makes me twist in his hold as he tourniquets my arm at the elbow and wraps the stab wound tightly. My eyes narrow in agony and I try to stay focused.

“Who?” I demand.

“Bun, I don’t think⁠—”

Why is he keeping this from me? If he knows who the leader of the Ghosts is, why didn’t he just fucking tell me? My heart hammers with the emotions.

“Tell me now or I’ll blow your brains out,” I say in a low, threatening tone and press the head of my handgun to the bottom of his throat.

He doesn’t even blink.

“No,” he says calmly and presses his forehead to mine, stealing a kiss and staring into my eyes, pleading silently for me to stop. “If you’re going to kill me, then do it. It’s not as easy as you’d think⁠—”

Click.

His eyes widen and I whisper softly against his lips, “Boom.”

He smacks the empty gun out of my hand and glares at me. Horror spreads over his features. “Did you know it was empty? Fuck, Bunny, you make me so goddamn crazy.” He grips my jaw hard, hand trembling. He shakes his head before resuming damage control on my body. He works on my shoulder next—I’m lucky it was just a clean flesh shot.

“Why won’t you tell me?” My thoughts trail back to Eren. He’s still protecting his brother… Is it Eren? My stomach sinks.

Bradshaw keeps his brows pinched as he works on me. I guess he really won’t tell me.

“Of course I knew it was empty… I can keep my head even when I’m at my limit. Are you okay? You completely unplugged earlier. You’re welcome, by the way, for saving your ass.” I shove his chest. He ignores me as he finishes with my shoulder.

“I’m okay.” His voice is gravelly and not at all convincing. He taps his head. “I’m fucked up, remember?” He tries to act like it’s no big deal, but the weight of his words between us is heavy. He helps me up and I falter once I’m on my feet.

“Bones…” I start, but he puts his finger to my lips.

“No more talking. We need to get to the ridgeline before dawn. I’m guessing reinforcements will be on their way here.” Bradshaw leads the way back up the riverbank, stopping briefly to make sure the coast is clear before we silently trek back into the forest.

My wounds slow us down and we have to stop to tend to them again before continuing. Bradshaw gives me one shot of morphine and the relief is so sweet I could cry. We only have a couple of them and I was hoping we could save them for when shit really hits the fan.

I sit and stare into the treetops, exhausted and fading as he picks me up. Next thing I know the trees are moving and it feels like I’m floating. Bradshaw’s hands grip mine tightly and he keeps whispering something repeatedly. “Hold on to me. It’s okay. It’s okay. I won’t let you go.” I smile, aloof and drugged, but at least the pain from the wounds is gone. All I smell is his brisk scent and the pine trees.

By the time we reach the ridgeline, most of the drugs have worn off and the sun is coming up.

Bradshaw sets me down and covers us with foliage. He bends down next to me. He looks tired, but I know we won’t be resting for long. We have to keep moving.

“How are you feeling?” Bradshaw whispers, checking each injury to make sure they haven’t bled through the bandages again. The one that throbs the most is the gash in my forearm. Without medical attention, I’m not sure how long I can keep going before the meds stop working. Bradshaw’s patch job probably won’t hold longer than a few days.

I let my head fall back against the rock we’re up against. “Like shit, but I’ll manage.”

He nods. “Two hours of rest and then we need to move,” he says sternly, but his body must be weary because he lets his shoulder connect with mine. His head eventually meets my forehead before I start to doze off. He threads his fingers through mine and whispers, “I’m so sorry, Bun. I should have been by your side in that fight. I’m so fucking sorry.” His thumb brushes mine soothingly.

If anyone can do this, it’s us.

I hold onto those thoughts long after I fall asleep and long after I wake up. I think about it as we walk fifteen kilometers north through rain and freezing winds. We don’t talk as we move; we only keep our hands on our guns and listen for any foreign sounds.

I watch Bradshaw move through the rocky terrain with ease, his muscles flexing with each step. Jenkins’s voice rolls like smoke through my memories.

“Careful who you let hold your heart, Gallows. There are wolves out there. You know the saying, right? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’ll bury you.”

I stared at him like some love-sick pup.

He only laughed and pressed his hand to my cheek. “I know you’d never let me down. But you need to remember this for those you let close to you. Make sure they know it.”Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Bradshaw has fooled me twice. I’m still not sure what I want to do about it.

He stops and turns to look back at me. His goggles are up on his helmet and all I get are his icy eyes. “We’re getting close to the last bunker. I don’t know what’s waiting there, but we need to stake out and watch until nightfall. We’ll move out once we’re sure no one is flanking us.”

I nod and he lifts a brow at me.

“No arguing?” he taunts.

My eyes narrow. “You’re in charge, Bones.” A self-satisfied expression extends over his face.

“That must’ve felt like shit to admit.”

I smack his arm and he laughs. “Don’t make me eat those words.”

He seems to be in a good mood for our circumstances and I can’t help but let the energy seep into myself too. The drugs help, but his smile goes deeper.

“Think you can call me sir from now on too?”

“Whatever you’d like, sir.” I don’t miss a beat. He grins and is about to fire off something else to ruffle my feathers when an explosion brings us to our knees.

My eyes snap up to the bunker a quarter-klick away. Fire plumes from the underground quarters and shakes the earth with aftershocks. Bradshaw stands and rushes for the bunker.

“Bones!” I shout, voice raspy from the smoke already invading my throat.

He doesn’t listen to me and continues to run toward the fire. Fuck. He’s probably worried Eren was in there. My eyes lift to the sky to make sure it wasn’t a grenadier. There’s no trail from a launcher, so I rule that out. It seems too convenient to be an accident.

I stand and chase after Bradshaw, keeping my eyes on the forest wall surrounding the meadow and becoming keenly aware when I enter the burning debris how much easier it is for them to see me rather than the other way around.

Bradshaw kneels near the bunker. The flames are no longer licking out from the blown-off hatch, but the fire still burns below. I grab his shoulder with one hand and squeeze.

“We need to get out of the open. Now,” I hiss at him.

He stares into the inferno below like it’s hell’s gates before he looks at me. “I don’t smell burning flesh.” His voice carries more relief than I thought I’d ever hear from him.

I nod. “Good. Let’s go.”

Bradshaw’s eyes widen just as he’s about to stand and he shoves me down. My back falls against the smoldering ashes as he takes a bullet to the chest. Another bullet flies and takes a piece of his left ear. He staggers back before lifting his M16 and firing off a few rounds above me. My chin tips up and I watch as a soldier jerks back from the bullets and falls to the side. Four more soldiers flank him and Bradshaw doesn’t waste a second. He forces me to my feet and we run for the cover of the trees.

“Are you okay?” I assess his chest.

He nods. “It just got my plates.” I look at his bleeding ear. A portion of it is gone and the sight of him bleeding and missing a part of himself makes my chest twist painfully.

“Damn it. So much for us trying to infiltrate their headquarters without detection,” Bradshaw mutters once we reach the trees and fall to the ground, splayed out on our bellies.

I pull out my sniper rifle and quickly wipe the scope, wincing at the pain as I try to steady my aim. “That explosion would’ve given us away anyway. Do you think Eren set it off?” I load a round and fire it. The closest soldier’s head tilts back and he’s down.

“Nice,” Bradshaw mutters as he waits for the ones I don’t pick off to get in range. “I hope not. That would be really fucking stupid and Eren is anything but stupid.”

Sweat rolls down my temple as I pull the trigger again. Another headshot. There are only two left. If it wasn’t Eren, then was it Hades?

“Maybe they thought we were in there,” I say slowly, firing again but missing this one. “Shit.”

Bradshaw lifts his M16 and pops the guy I missed. He hits his shoulder and throat and the soldier falls. That leaves just one.

“Maybe, but that doesn’t feel right either.” Bradshaw looks troubled and it distracts me from the last soldier charging us. I let my partner finish him off, watching thoughtfully as he falls ungracefully. What a stupid approach. They just ran at us, knowing we had the better cover and upper hand.

Sharp fear prickles through me.

No.

I turn too late. Men are on top of us before we can react.