Kissing The Wind

I ran and ran away from that horrendous hut. I did not stop until I reached a clearing. That’s where I realized that I was standing on a cliff overlooking the city.

Sweats beaded my forehead and some even trailed down my cheeks. With labored breathe, I tried to stand upright and look at the blue expanse of the sky. Then, without thinking, I shouted in the top of my lungs.

I did not just shout, I wailed. Tears brimmed in my eyes and after a while, they ran on my check like a flowing river. My body shook. Fervent. Like a rattling of roof during a heavy rain.

My chest hurt. And I had a minute of doubt to what Anthony said that I hated my mother. If I hate her, then why I was here, wailing under the scorching heat of the afternoon sun?

The wind blew cold against my damp skin.

My body’s shuddering diminish after awhile and I had to look around for some seat. And I saw bench not far from where I was standing. I took a deep breathe before I strode towards that white thing.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

I was alone on the cliff. Maybe because that day was hot and people would only flock the cliff during nighttime when city lights starts dashing and twinkling under the dark sky. And I sighed in relief on that thought, though the memory of my mother’s face sent me shuddering under the bright day.

While sitting on that bench overlooking the city, some ridiculous thoughts entered my mind. What if I was an orphan that’s why mom would always hurt me?

I kept my hands around me as a distant memory of my classmate way back in my elementary entered my mind. She was an orphan and I always caught her arms full of bruises. I wanted to drag her towards the principal office to ask that man for some help but she always dismiss the idea. She did not want to cause trouble to her foster parents who raised her since she was just a baby.

Her words when I first saw her bruises rang on my mind, “Don’t ask. Pretend you don’t see them.”

I still remember how I huffed at her words as I crossed my arms around my chest. “What if I don’t? Your so-called parents were monsters. You should fight them. Ask for help. The principal will help you.”

Her chuckle made me raise a brow at her. She looked at me sideways. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Sydnee. Not everyone would eager to help someone they don’t even know. And what if the principal will help me? Will he call my parents on the office and reprimand them? What? Are they children like us who needed some so-called guidance?” She shook her head. “No. He would not reprimand them. He would question them and advice them not to hurt me. And well, my parents would lash out on me when we got home.”

“But at least they’ll get questioned by the principal!”

“It won’t do any change, really. I would only get more bruises.” She sighed. “Sometimes fate is cruel. But no one could fight it, could we?”

And she never got the chance to report the bruises to the principal because later that day, she was killed when cars rampaged the street while she was crossing on it. Some said that it was an accident. But there were rumors in the school that she deliberately crossed the street when it was not safe.

Maybe she took her life or maybe it was just an accident that took the life of the first girl who ever talked to me when I entered grade school. But I came to think of maybe, the later was a lie I tried hard to believe.

I stood and walked carefully towards the railing, where I saw how steep the cliff was. Warm air blew against me, shoving me back but I held my feet still on the ground, not minding how sweat started to bead on my forehead as I thought of the pain I’ll get when I throw myself over the edge of the railing. And if someone would actually cry and mourn over my dead body when I’m gone?

I took a step ahead and I swallowed hard. My trembling fingers trailed the horizontal railing full of dust from winds carrying particles around. A fear crept onto my heart and my chest started to weight heavy that my shoulders sank.

Should I throw my body over the cliff? I gulped hard. But the bottom pit was not inviting as I saw some vines full of thorns entangled itself on the branches of the bald trees. And even though I noticed nothing, I knew that snakes lurked around the area, waiting for some fools to plunge themselves down the cliff. I knew it will not be a bloodless, quick death.

My knees wobbled and I took a small step back. But I gasped when strong arms circled around my waist and pulled me far from the railing.

I yelped and thrashed around like a wild boar. I heard the person holding me grunted in annoyance. “Stop struggling, Sydnee!” he ordered, voice was familiar that it made me shut up and stopped thrashing around in an instant.

“A-Anthony?” I breathed, eyes shot wide in sudden realization. What was he doing in the cliff?

He put me down when we were far from the railing. I turned around and stared at him and gasped in shock. His shoulders were moving up and down as he labored for his breath. I noticed how his fist opened and closed, like struggling for his control over his emotions.

My mind went blank for awhile but I blinked when he said, “I didn’t know that you’re this desperate to end your life.” His voice was laced with raw anger and annoyance.

A heat tingled in my spine and something tugged in my heart. I held my chest and eyed him warily. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

Dry laugh escaped from his lips as he moved his fingers over his hair. He squinted his eyes on me. “I saw you running in the highway like a madman while driving my way back to your place. I thought something happened so I followed you. My car even horned at your side but you kept on running away until you reached this area.” He closed his eyes and held the bridge of his nose with his two fingers. “I heard you scream and wailing. And I let you have some time to gather yourself but I didn’t expect to see you looking over the cliff like drooling over an ice cream. If… if I was not here, you’ll plunge yourself into that cliff. What are you thinking, Sydnee?!”

I blinked and blinked again before my eyes squinted at his face. I even tipped my head back to look at him directly onto his eyes. “You sure that I’ll plunge myself there?”

“If you only saw how your eyes scanned over the cliff, you’ll see how desperate were you to jump off!”