Xo Novel
39
Elena’s heart broke for him. No matter what else he’d revealed, what snippets of his past he’d given her , this was the first time she felt just how deeply he’d learned how to protect himself. Him pulling away was so much more about him than it was about her. “And do you normally give speeches like this to the women you kiss or sleep with?” She asked. But she asked it tentatively, with a gentle voice free of censure. “Make sure they won’t regret a night with you?”
Chandler swallowed hard. His eyes searched her face. “They know what they’re getting into. They’re not thinking past one night, trust me.”
“But you think I am?”
The tip of his finger tilted her chin up, and his thumb brushed her bottom lip.
“I think you look at me differently than they do, Elena. You look at me differently than anyone does. And if you can’t quiet those things holding you back, I don’t want to be the man they all think I am. Not with you. The one who’ll push where you let me, who’ll convince you with my lips”-he dropped his thumb but still stared steadily at her mouth-” and my hands until you convince yourself.”
Elena’s mouth opened to argue with him, but no words would come. Chandler had convinced himself that he was only capable of casual transactional relationships, maybe for a hundred different reasons that had nothing to do with his upbringing. Reinforced beliefs were hard to break down, and she wasn’t expecting this from him. Not once they kissed. A kiss like that, especially.
He was trying to do what he thought was right, what was honorable. The man who tried so hard to pretend he didn’t care what people thought of him was placing her own reservations so far ahead of his needs that she couldn’t think of a single intelligent response.
Which was why she let him back up and walk out of the garden. The sound he made before he left was so rife with unspent tension that her lips curved into a sad smile.
What a predicament she’d found herself in. Elena left the garden and walked up the stairs to the room she’d been given slowly, not because she was tired or ready for a nap-it was still early, and it wasn’t even time for a meal-but because she just needed a little space to think.
Just what had she been expecting too? That they’d go up to his room together? What if someone saw them? What would they say? What if Emily saw them? It was settled…. When it came to Chandler, her brain was a total mess.
As she perched on the edge of the bed, she touched her fingers to her lips. What a fine time for Chandler to allow his chivalrous side to surface, she thought ruefully. After that kiss.
Twenty-six years suddenly felt like an impossibly long time to go without experiencing a kiss like that. Sure, she had some experience, but it was a sad state of affairs that even when she had fantasized about kissing someone important to her, her brain had never conjured that kind of furious, fierce hunger. An unrepentant want seizing both of them until we couldn’t touch enough, taste enough, or push their bodies closely enough.
She didn’t want Chandler to hold back. She didn’t want him to worry that she was overthinking or would regret her time with him. But she was overthinking. And it needed to stop.
Normally, she’d ask Emily what she should do, but she grimaced when she thought about how patently unhappy this would make her. She’d hate it.
No, for this one.
She lay down on her bed and not too long after she did, there was a knock on her door and she heard Beth’s voice call her name. She sat up immediately. If there was another person who would give her honesty and pragmatism alongside blunt delivery, it was Beth, so she asked her to come in.
Beth popped her head into the room first and glanced around like she was looking for something… Or someone… Then she came inside. She shut the door behind her and when she turned around, Elena could see that there was a mischievous smile on her face. Knowing Beth, Elena immediately knew that there was something Beth knew that she didn’t and she was going to find out what it was.
“What’s going on with you,” Elena asked. “And what’s wrong with your face?”All content is © N0velDrama.Org.
Beth held her hands together behind her back and smiled even harder. Then she moved forward and crawled into the bed with Elena, “I can’t stop smiling,” she said.
Elena frowned, “Yes, Beth, I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth,”
Beth threw her head back and laughed, “You’re one to talk about people having things in their mouths,” she teased,
Elena was completely confused now and couldn’t hide the expression on her face. So Beth decided to make things easy for her, “Next time, when you decide to make out with Chandler Kendrick, don’t do it in the freaking garden where anyone can see the both of you,”
Elena gasped and her eyes widened in disbelief, “Oh my God! You saw us,”
Beth rolled her eyes, “Duh… Yes,”
“Did anyone else see?”
“No… I don’t think so,”
“I don’t understand. You were in the garden the entire time,”
“No, but my room is right above the garden. You can pretty much see everything that happens down there from the window,”
Filled with embarrassment, Elena buried her face In her palms and let herself fall onto the bed. Beth watched her reaction and laughed, “You were listening to our conversation?” she asked, her voice muffled by the duvet.
“No. Believe me, I don’t think you can hear anyone from up there unless they are yelling. And I only happened to look out the window when you were already kissing. If there was a conversation, I know nothing about it. I was just surprised to see you guys that… Well… All over each other, seeing that this morning you were ready to rip his head off… don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging or anything like that, ”
Elena lifted her head. “Urghh…I’m so embarrassed, Beth,”
“Why? There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, honestly speaking, I do like the both of you together. You two seem very…Compatible,”