Holding on to you

Jessy’s P. O. V

I saw him, and I knew that his reason for being here was me. He’s still searching, I should have known that Mik wouldn’t give up until he found me, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think that he wanted to kiss and make up.

I had to run again; it’s getting harder to do now that I’m not alone anymore. Running from the man I love with our two-year-old twins, was not very ideal, but I had to do what was best for my children.

Jasper and Gemini sleep peacefully, blissfully unaware of the danger their mother was in. I quickly packed our things, taking with me only the essentials, I had to leave quickly before someone told him where I was hiding. I’ve almost run out of options, and couldn’t risk another innocent life getting caught up in my drama.

There’s only one place left for me to go, it’s not ideal, but it’s the only place I know I’ll be safe from Mik.

My hands shook as I stuffed item after item into my small travel bag. The memory of Mik pulling the trigger and shooting the guy that was kind enough to offer a stranded single mother a place to crash, whiles she gets her feet back on the ground, was clear in my head.

Quinton wouldn’t give him any information about me; he denied knowing me even when provided with proof of his lies. Mik wasted no time in killing him; I stood watching through the door at the back of the dainty little bookstore that Quinton owned.

I didn’t wait around, I got right back into my car and drove the hell out of there. When I arrive at Quinton’s apartment, I started packing my stuff then got right back in my car and drove, only stopping to refuel and crash at a cheap motel when it got too much for the kids.

Travelling by car from Iowa to Connecticut with two very fussy children was a nightmare, but one I had to endure for the safety of my children. When I decided to leave my life back in Mayfield Ohio, I drove all the way to Connecticut, I knew it wasn’t far enough away, but I wasn’t quite ready to separate myself completely.

I got a job as a waitress, working in a seedy little Italian restaurant, the only place that was willing to hire me and pay me under the table. It wasn’t long into my job that I realise the restaurant was just a front for illegal drug trafficking, a life that I wanted no part of.

In the end, I left the job, even though the pay was good, but I’d made enough at that point to keep moving. Viper, the guy who owned the establishment, guessed that I was running from something, and since he took a shine to me, he offered to protect and keep me safe if I agreed to marry his only son.

He made a compelling argument, but I just didn’t want my kids growing up in that kind of life. I told him as much, but thanked him for his offer, he was okay with my decision and told me that the offer was still on the table if I ever changed my mind. At the time, I was confident that I’d never, but with Mik killing people to get to me, I knew that I’d have to take Viper up on his offer.

However, there was just one problem; I couldn’t ever let him know who the father of my children was. Mik was turning more than a few heads in the crime world. Everyone knew that he was looking for a Jessica Shay and that he wasn’t opposed to killing anyone who got in his way to find her.

They call him the Angel of Death, he takes life with no mercy, not caring that there are people who will suffer from his death spree. But what Mik didn’t know was that Jessica Shay was dead, I killed her the moment I left Ohio, and in her place, was Willa Parrish; and Willa Parrish is a woman who’d do anything if it meant protecting her children and herself, even becoming the wife of a mob boss’s son.

Kinsley’s P. O. V

The reason I’m here is because of him, I chose this stupid college because of him, so there just no way I’m letting him end up with another girl.

I’ve been here for two months now, trying to work up the courage to confront him, but like an idiot, I always back out at the last minute. However, I was not going to back out tonight, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to let him take Stacey what’s her face to bed.

I watched from the corner of the room as he got piss faced drunk, Stacey was sitting on his lap kissing his neck as he shamelessly fingered her in front of all of his friends.

The few good friends that I’d managed to make in this hell hole were all off dancing with their boyfriends. I stayed on the sofa that was filled with pathetic loners like myself. A few of the drunk idiots had already asked me to dance but, I wasn’t here to get drunk and f**k any of these losers, I was here to pay my brother back for killing my mother.

I smiled to myself; I couldn’t wait to see the look on my brother’s face when I finally do decide to see him, and who I’ll be coming home with.

The music was loud, but I still heard Stacey when she threw her head back and cried out from the orgasm he just gave her. The guys around them started laughing, and I couldn’t help but crush the empty red cup that was in my hand. He gave Stacey a satisfied look before he roughly took her lips with his, there was utterly no shame in his movement as his hand once again made its way under her hooker skirt.

More than a few of the guys surrounding them stop what they were doing to look. Liking the attention that they were getting, he lifted one of Stacey’s legs higher and pushed the other one apart, exposing her to the others. A part of me felt sick that he would treat her like that, but another part smiled because the whore deserved it for being a mega-bitch to everyone. I looked around to see if anyone else in the house party was watching them, but they were all too busy getting drunk and f**ked themselves. And besides, no one was brave or stupid enough to tell any of them to stop. Everyone knew that they ruled the campus, and to be invited in their circle is either a pleasure or a world of hurt. I got up from the loner sofa and moved a bit closer, but making sure to stay out of sight because I wasn’t quite ready for him to see me as yet.

His hand moved from fingering her and circled her breast, which he pulled from her bra. Either she didn’t care that he had her exposed to everyone, or she was piss face drunk herself. Her legs were still spread, and Austin Wells, the leader of their circle, stuck three of his fingers into his mouth, wetting them before shoving them inside of her.

She jerked back, breaking the kiss. Her face was a flood of confusion when she saw that Austin was the one with his fingers inside of her. She started pulling away, but he held her face, forcing her to look at him, whiles Austin continued his assault on her body.

“What’s the matter Stacey, I thought you wanted to feel what it’s like to be f**ked by one of us?”

Stacey looked scared, but as she opened her mouth to speak Austin pushed another finger inside of her, which caused her to cry out instead. I couldn’t decide whether it was from pleasure or pain.

He laughed as Austin started moving faster and Stacey tried to control her reaction to him but failing when she cried out yet again from another orgasm. Austin slowly pulled his fingers out of her, showing it to the others who just laughed.

“F**k! You guys should try it; this bitch is loose as f**k.”

Austin turned to Stacey, who looked like she wanted to die from embarrassment.

“How many guys have you had up in there, must be a f**k load if your pussy almost swallowed my hand.”

That gained a few more laughers from his crew and brought tears to Stacey’s eyes. Her eyes left Austin’s, and she looked at him for help, but he wasn’t helping her; instead, he smirked at her.

“Do you wanna leave, Stacey, cause I’ll let you leave right now if you want to, all you have to do it get up and walk away.”

Stacey, as well as myself, knew that the moment she got up and leave, she’d be committing social suicide. Not wanting to lose her popularity status on campus, Stacey shook her head, deciding to stay. I waited for him to state the consequences of her decision, and I wasn’t disappointed when he told her, but I was disgusted.

“Are you sure, Stacey because staying means that you’re agreeing to be f**ked by each and every one of us tonight?”

She nodded her head, and I felt like slapping her, I couldn’t believe that she wanted to be popular that bad.

He wiped the tears from her eyes and softly pecked her on the lips, then pulled away to smirk at her again.

“Just look at it this way, you will have your wish granted, but instead of being f**ked by one of us, you’ll be f**ked by all of us.”

Before she could open her mouth to say anything he passed her over to Austin who guided her to her feet, seven other guys stood, all looking at her with lust and glee. They got up and walked off with Stacey between them, Austin turned back when he saw that he was not following them.

“You coming, man?”

He shook his head, “Not in the mood, you guys have fun, but don’t traumatise her too much.”

Austin laughed then headed after the guys that were already gone. He ran his hand through his long dark blonde hair then pushed to his feet. His eyes took in the room then they landed on a girl that was dancing by herself whiles downing a bottle of beer.

On his way over to her, he grabbed a beer and took a long swig. Without asking for permission, he placed his hand on her waist, leaned in until his lips were at her ear and said not so quietly, “I’m going to do you the honour of f**king you tonight.”

I expected her to slap him, which she looked like she was about to do, but then she saw who he was and a flirtatious smile lip up her face.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

Downing the last of his beer, he grabbed her hand and started pulling her up the stairs. I knew that I had to put a stop to them, but I wasn’t too sure how to go about doing it, so I followed them instead. They struggled to find a room because all the lights were off upstairs. She started giggling as they kissed, bumping into everything, I’d had enough, so I decided to stop them, using the darkness to my advantage.

They stopped trying to find his room and decided to feel each other up against the wall. I watched them from a distance, and it took everything in me not to drag the bitch by her hair away from him. Instead, I quietly walked past them and located his room. I picked the lock in no time and slipped in, but instead of closing the door, I left it slightly ajar.

I quickly got to work, I undressed, stripping all of my clothes off and slipped under the bed cover. I wasn’t sure if my plan was going to work, but I just knew that I had to try.

It wasn’t long before I heard giggling and then heard a gasped when they discovered me. I stayed silent, regulating my breathing as best as I could; I needed them to think that I was sleeping and I needed her to think that he was a slut.

I couldn’t help the smile that touched my lips when she fell for my trap. Some people are just so easy.

“What the f**k, who is she? You brought me up here so that you can f**k the both of us?”

He tried to tell her that he didn’t know who I was, but she wasn’t buying it.

“I’m out of here; I’m so not into this kinda shit, have fun with Blondie.”

The door banged behind her, and I tried my best not to laugh, whiles trying my best to maintain my charade of sleep.

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now, and tell me who the f**k you are.”

With my smile in place, I opened my eyes and turned to face him, making sure that the cover doesn’t slip.

“Hello, Jason.”

His eyes widen in surprise before he schooled his emotions, then his eyes narrowed suspiciously, and a hard look entered them.

“Kinsley, what are you doing here?”

My smile never faltered, “I go to school here, started two months ago,”

He looked at me for a while, making me squirm just a bit, but then he sighed and closed his eyes. Taking a breath, he calmed himself and then begin to take his clothes off.

I looked at him like he was crazy, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“You just ruined a night of good sex for me; I think it’s only fair that since you made sure that I couldn’t f**k her that I f**k you instead.”

I knew that he’d change, I’ve watched him for two months, so I’ve seen a lot of that change, but I expected him to be different with me. Sure, I intended to get him to date and fall in love with me so that I could piss Killian off, but I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him on the first night.

He slipped under the covers, and I shook myself out of my thoughts and moved away from him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jason.”

I didn’t get too far before he caught me, pinning me to the bed. His hand grabbed my upper thigh, pulling me even closer.

“Should have thought about that before you decided to strip naked and climb into my bed.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but his lips covered mine, and I lost my mind for a bit. How many time have I dreamt about kissing him, dreamt about him pressing my body into the bed as he f**ked my brains out? And now that I was finally having my dreams come through, I couldn’t bring myself to stop it. Instead, I let myself indulge.

Lilly’s P. O. V

“F**k, Red.”

F**k, that’s all we seemed to be doing lately. Every chance Killian gets, he jumps me, it’s like he needs to make sure that I’m still his. I knew that it would be hard for him to let me live away from him, but I never expected him to want reassurance that I still belong to him, body, mind and soul.

He grabbed my hips, burying himself even deeper inside of me, a soft cry escaped my lips from the harshness of his movement. We were sat in his car, in the parking lot of the restaurant that we were supposed to be having dinner in. It was date night for us, a routine that we sort of developed when we arrived at college. It started because of both our busy schedule and since we could never find time in the day for each other, we started doing date night. However, we never quite make it to the date part of the night.

I was sat straddling him as he f**ked my brains out, the parking lot was dark, so there wasn’t any fear of anyone seeing us, but because of the moaning and screaming I was doing, we were sure to be caught.

I threw my head back as I felt the pressure built up inside of me. Killian started moving faster, thrusting into me, tipping us both over the edge. He stayed inside of me as I came down from one of the best orgasms of my life.

His eyes held mine, and I smile, “You know, we’ve got to at least try and make it to dinner on one of these date nights.”

He chuckled, “Well if you stop tempting me in those f**k me dresses, we just might.”

We stared at each other for a while, and I took in his features, his pale green eyes were two shades darker, making them look even more beautiful. His hair has grown longer around the edges, a look that I quite liked on him, but it was the smile that he wore that make my heart skip a beat. Over the years, he seemed more at peace, happier than I’ve ever seen him.

He brushed my hair away from my face, his fingers lingering in the strands. “You’re so f**king beautiful, and all mine.”

I offered him a warm smile then leant down and kissed him when I pulled back he was looking at me like everything he ever wanted and needed was right in front of him.

“I’m all yours, Killian, from now until forevermore.”

The look went from his face, and a glare replaced it, “Good because I see the way those f**kers look at you, and if any one of them even thinks about stealing you away from me, I will burn this world to the f**king ground!”

I almost rolled my eyes because I just didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, none of the guys in college has ever looked at me. Well, that’s a lie, they have looked at me, but not in a “I totally want to get it on with her” way. It’s more of a “this chick is weird as f**k” way.

“Baby, it doesn’t matter who looks at me, because you’re the only one I see.”

That took the glare off of his face, and his signature smirk was back in place. He grabbed my hips again, and I felt him getting hard inside of me. My eyes widen, and I stared at him.

“Again?”

He chuckled, “F**k yeah, again!”

I don’t know what it was that he saw on my face, but his eyes softened, and his hand slid into my hair, gripping it.

“Baby, you might look like an angel, but I’m about to f**k you like the devil.”

Before I knew it, his hands were reaching for my panties that didn’t quite make it off of me; it was just pulled to the side. Without much strength, he skillfully tore them from my body, then he lifted my dress over my head and threw it on the backseat.

I wasn’t wearing any bra, so I was completely naked in the restaurant parking lot, sitting on my husband’s lap about to get f**ked for the second time that evening.

Killian followed through with his threat, and I found myself being turned around in the small space of the car. I should have been ashamed, anyone in my position would have been ashamed, but I was too busy screaming from the pleasure.

After we had been finished, I reached over to the back to grab my dress and Killian started the car, driving us home. Inside of taking me back to the dorm, he took me over to our place, and the rest of the night was spent sleeping and having sex.

They’re all ugly, and nothing fits!

Well, at least it felt like nothing fits, I’ve been in the mall for hours with Tami trying to find a red dress that would fix me, but so far, I’ve had no luck.

“Tami, it’s no use, I’m never going to find a dress that looks good on me, they all make me look like a tomato.”

I heard her chuckling from outside of the dressing room, and it made me frown. I was seriously freaking out, and she was finding it funny. Not feeling like trying any more dresses, I forego trying on the other three that Tami brought and was about to leave the dressing room when she stuck her head in.

“Don’t give up now, I’ll go get the dress we saw in the window when we were coming in, I’m betting that that is the one.”

I frowned at her, “Are you crazy. I can’t afford that one, it’s way over my budget.”

She gave me a look that said I was the crazy one and then rolled her eyes, “Girl, please, your man is loaded, and this dress is for him, so indulge yourself a little.”

Before I could object, she was already done, I was tempted to get dress and refused to try on another item, but she was right, the dress was for Killian. I had something important to tell him, and I wanted to wear his favourite colour whiles doing it.

I was stood in the changing room in just my underwear, waiting for Tami to return with the dress, but when ten minutes passed, I started to get worried that she somehow might have forgotten about me. So, I retrieved my phone from my purse and tried to call her, but it just rang out.

I was about to reach for my clothes to go in search of her, but the door to the dressing room was suddenly thrown open, and in stormed Noah. My entire body froze in shock; I hadn’t heard anything from him in over two years. So, to see him standing in my dressing room was quite a surprise.

The shock soon wore off, and the reality of my situation hit me, I took a step back and was about to scream, but he was faster than me. He grabbed me, covering my mouth with his hand, I tried to fight him off, but he was too strong for me.

“Shh, Lilly, I’m not here to hurt you. There are some very dangerous guys out there who are looking for you, and if you don’t stop moving and stay very still, they will find and kill us both.”

I didn’t know if I believed him, but I stopped fighting, giving him the benefit of the doubt. However, not long after I heard voices, about three or four guys were walking around the dressing room, pushing open every door.

“She’s got to be in here, Natasha saw her come in here with the black girl.”

My fear for Tami override any fear for myself, and I started fighting Noah to let me go, but he held tight.

“Angel, there’s nothing you can do for your friend right now, so stop fighting me, and maybe I can get us both out of here alive.”

I stopped and nodded my head, tears falling from my eyes, wetting his hand that was still covering my mouth. I knew that I’d never be able to forgive myself if anything happened to Tami. I shouldn’t have involved her in my world, I missed Jessy and wanted a friend, so I forgot about the dangers that came with being my friend.

Noah released me, grabbing my hand, he slowly and quietly opened the door to the dressing room, seeing that the path was clear, he guided us both out. He skilfully evaded all the men that were there looking for me, moving quietly to the back of the shop.

We came upon a door that said staff only, which he opened and pushed us both in. It was dark, so I searched around for a light switch, but Noah stopped me.

“We, don’t want them to know that we’re hiding in here.”

Of course, turning on the light would be like yelling out to them where we were. Noah quietly took us farther into the stock room, and when he got to a corner that looked secluded enough, he started rifling through the boxes, searching for something.

My eyes kept drifting to the door, I wanted so bad to go out and find Tami, but I knew that that would only mean putting myself and Noah in danger. I just hope that whoever was after me, left Tami out of it.

Noah kept going through boxes, it was started to get on my nerve, so I whispered very loudly.

“What the hell are you looking for?!”

Without looking at me, or stopping, he answered, “Something decent for you to wear because as hot as you looking standing there in just your underwear, it’s a f**king distraction, and I need all my wits about me if I’m going to get us both out of here alive.”

“Oh,” I said but knelt and helped him, opening one box after another, until I found one with jeans and shirts my size.

I quickly got dressed, ignoring the way Noah was looking at me. Although it wasn’t uncomfortable, it wasn’t quite welcomed either. I don’t know what it was about him, but I felt a slight attraction to him that I didn’t quite understand. I would never cheat on Killian, but I couldn’t deny that there was a connection between Noah and myself.

Looking at him, another thing occurred to me. I didn’t know anything about this guy, he just breezed into my life like a mysterious wind, causing havoc. I bottom the last bottom on my shirt then sat on the ground in front of him; I was going to find out exactly who he was.

“Who are you, Noah? I know that we didn’t randomly meet that day, and I know that you weren’t passing by the mall and decided to save my life, so who the hell are you?”

He looked like he wasn’t going to answer but then changed his mind. He combed his hand through his shoulder-length hair and sighed.

“You have to understand, that I had no choice, this was the assignment that was assigned to me by my superiors.”

I was curious now, what was he talking about.

He continued, “A little over five years ago, my boss came to me and asked me if I’d be interested in joining a task force that they were putting together to take down the Black organisation, and since I was fresh out of the academy, I said yes. At that time your husband’s father was in charge, but it was clear to see that his men were losing respect for him, and they were turning to Killian for their orders.”

My body tensed up, he didn’t have to say out loud who he was, or who he worked for, I already knew, but I sat and listened.

“We knew that it was just a matter of time before Killian took over his father’s business, and we knew that if that happened, there’d be no way that we’d catch him. Killian is smart, he’s very good at hiding his illegal dealings, every business he invested in were legitimate, and we weren’t sure as to what he was moving. Killian started taking his father’s business to new heights, and he was far better at burning his tracks.”

He paused to make sure that I was still following, so I nodded my head for him to continue, which he did.

“My job was to follow Killian, record his every move and report back to my superiors. At first, it was strange, because here was this kid, not a lot younger than myself and instead of enjoying his school years, he was planning to overthrow his father, and partly running one of the biggest crime organisation in the world. However, what was stranger was his obsession with one redhead girl that he refused to even approach…”

My heart skipped a beat, I knew he was talking about me, and as much as I knew all about Killian obsession with me, it was weird hearing it from someone else.

“… I reported this back to my superiors and they told me not to intervene, my orders were to let it play out and see what he would do. They were hoping that he would slip and kidnap you and we’d have something to charge him with.”

I gasped, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, they were willing to use me as bait to catch Killian. It seemed that to them I was not important, or a priority, I was just dispensable.

“They were just going to sit back and let him kidnap me? So, my safety was not as important as their mission?”

Noah moved forward, he tried to hold my hands, but I pulled away. I didn’t want him to touch me, he saw it and let his hands fell back on his lap.

“Lilly, I never would have let that happened, I would never have let any harm come to you.”

He sounded so sincere, but I wasn’t sure if I could believe him. I wanted to because some part of me wanted to trust him, but another part of me knew that he wanted something from me that’ll never be able to give.

We just sat there, staring at each other, his eyes were pleading with me to believe him, trust him, but I just wouldn’t give in. Just then, the door to the stock room opened, and two of the men walked in.

Noah pulled me closer to him; my back was pressed against his chest as he moved us deeper into the dark. The men searched around for a light switch but came up empty. They looked around briefly, but after a while they left, deciding to give the shop one more sweep.

I breathe a breath of relief when I could no longer hear them. I started to move away from Noah, but he held tight.

“We shouldn’t move just yet, just in case they double back round to check in here again.”

I nodded my head in the dark, but I knew that he felt the movement. I decided that since we were going to be there for a while, I wanted him to finish telling me his story.

“What happened after your bosses told you not to intervene?”

I felt his fingers playing with the ends of my hair, and I was unsure how I felt about such intimacy, but I never told him to stop.

“I did my job and continued to watch both of you. Years went by and still, he wouldn’t approach you, I saw him made a few attempts, but Miguel always stopped him before it got too far. I watched him watched you, and by doing that, I saw exactly what it was that he saw when he looked at you. Your smile could light up a room, your kind-hearted spirit drew people to you, making them feel compelled to fall in love with you.”

My feelings were all over the place, I was conflicted within myself, I knew that I loved Killian, there just wasn’t any other guy for me, but I couldn’t explain why it was that I felt a very strong connection to Noah as well.

“I was jealous of him, jealous that he got to be so close to you, and you were just seventeen, way too young for a guy like me. My feeling started getting in the way of my duties, so I asked to be removed from the case for a while, and I was granted a three-month leave of absence. I never expected that upon my return you’d be married and living with Killian…”

He paused, “I’d never have let you make that deal with him, I would have stepped in and helped you and your brother, I’d never have let him have you.”

It was whispered so close to my ear that his warm breath sent shivers down my body. That sat in the air between us for a while, before something he said earlier came to my attention.

“Noah, you said that you were fresh out of the academy, why did they choose you, what made you so special?”

His hands around me got tighter like he was trying to stop me from running. This got me on edge, and I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to know the answer to my questions.

“They chose me because of who my father was.”

I was afraid to ask, but I did anyway, “Who was your father?”

“JD.”

Immediately, I ripped myself away from him, jumping to my feet and backing away. I started shaking my head from side to side, he got up and tried to calm me, but I wasn’t having any of it.

“That night of the party, that was you on the phone, you said that you were going to kill Killian… you said… you said… oh my god!”

My hands covered my mouth to stop the scream from getting out. He stepped closer to me, and I grabbed the arm off of a mannequin, holding in front of me like a weapon.

“Stay away from me, just stay back, please.”

He stopped, holding his hands in surrender, “Lilly listen to me, I joined the FBI because of who my father was, I wanted to take him down and the only way for me to do it was to let him believe that I was playing both sides. I had to let him believe that I was working for him, so, what you heard was just acting, I promise you.”

I shook my head, “Why should I believe you? All this right now could just be something you set up to get me to trust you and fall for your trap.”

He took a small step towards me, and I took one back, “Lilly if I had wanted to hurt you I would have done it a long time ago. I’m only here today because we intercepted Natasha’s plan to kidnap and kill you. She wants Killian to pay, and she knows the only way to hurt him is by hurting you.

“I’m not supposed to be here, my bosses would have my badge if they found out, but I just couldn’t sit back and let her hurt you. But, Lilly, you should know, the FBI has a lot of dirt on Killian, it’s only a matter of time before the close in on him. I’m here to save you from going to jail for crimes he committed; I’ll tell my bosses that you were my informant, that way you’d be in the clear.”

I looked at him like he was crazy, I couldn’t believe that he was asking me to snitch on the love of my life. I’d never betray Killian like that, these past two years he has changed a lot, a betrayal like that would kill him, and I could never do that.

“Don’t you get it, I love him. I love him with all my heart; he’s the very reason I breathe, I could never do something so terrible to him, I prefer to spend the rest of my life in jail than make him think that I betrayed his trust.”

His shoulders slumped, but he nodded his head, “Then I can’t help you when the law come raining down at your front door.”

“I don’t want or need your help, Killian will find a way around it, he always does.”

Noah looked at me with sad eyes, “This time he might not be able to.”

“RED!”

I turned at the sound of my name being yelled from outside of the stock room. I dropped the arm I was holding and started to move to the door, but Noah held me back. I turned to give him an irritated look, which he ignored.

“Are you sure this is what you want, is this the life you envisioned for yourself? Is this the kind of life that you want your baby to be born into?”

My hands dropped protectively to my stomach, and I stared at him wide-eyed.

“H-how did you know?”

He stepped closer, “I told you, I’ve been watching you, I know everything there is to know about you. Now answer my question.”

“This might not be the life I envisioned, but it is the one I chose, and my baby will be blessed to have Killian as its father.”

“Lilly, God damn it, where the f**k are you!”

I knew that I had to go to Killian before he found me with Noah, I knew that without a doubt he’d kill him.

“I have to go to him, please stay here until we leave, if he finds you, he will kill you, so please stay here.”

He nodded his head, and I quickly exited the stock room. Killian turned just as I came out of the room and I ran to him. His hands circled my waist, he lifted me off of my feet and held me close.

“Oh baby, are you ok, did those f**kers hurt you?”

I shook my head, “No they didn’t hurt, I hid in the stockroom when I heard them.”

He smoothed the hair away from my face and kissed my lips softly, he pulled back then gathered me up in his arms again.

“I thought they took you, I thought you were gone… I’m gonna kill them all, every last one of them.”

I knew that he meant every word, but I couldn’t let him go on being carefree with his ways anymore, knowing what I knew about the FBI. However, I couldn’t tell him that Noah worked for them and he was the one who told me either, so I improvised.

“Killian, you can’t.”

He frowned, “Why the hell not?”

“Because I heard them talking, they say that the FBI has been watching you and that they have a lot of evidence that could put you away for life. You have to be careful because I can’t lose you.”

His jaw tense, but he nodded, “You’re not going to lose me baby, and I’ll deal with the FBI.”

I wanted to protest that he should take it more serious, but I stayed silent and put my trust in him, hoping that it all turned out ok. He took my hand and guided me out of the store. I was surprised that it seemed pretty empty, I wondered where all the staff had gone to.

As we were nearing his car, I turned and looked around, searching for Tami, but I couldn’t see her anywhere, so I stopped and asked for her.

“Where is Tami, did you find her?”

Killian shook his head, “No when I got the call that Tash sent her men after you, I came right away, but Tami was nowhere in sight.”

I started freaking out, “We have to find her! We have to go back and search the shop; maybe she’s hiding somewhere like I was!”

Killian held both my shoulders to keep me still, “Baby, we’ve already searched, she’s not in there, maybe she left and went back to the dorm. Let get you home and then we can see if she’s there, okay?”

I nodded my head and let him guide me into the car. My eyes started to feel really heavy, and my body was really tired. I closed my eyes as I entered the car, letting Killian strap me in. I drifted off to sleep on the drive back, and when I woke up, it was to the sound of Killian’s voice, arguing with someone.

“There’s no way I’m trading Red’s life for hers; you should know better by now Tash.”

I jumped out of bed, grabbing Killian’s shirt, I quickly put it on and exited the room. I was ready to tell him to do it, but he was already putting away his phone. I saw Mik and Kinsley both sitting on the sofa, they both rushed towards me, asking me if I was ok, but I just ignored them, heading right to Killian.

“Call her back, tell her you’ll do it!”

He turned to face me, his face hard as stone, “NO.”

I got so mad, my emotions were all over the place, I wanted to cry, scream and bang my head against the wall at the same time, but most of all I wanted to lash out at him.

“Why not?! My life is not more important than Tami’s!”

“To me it f**king is!”

I was beyond pissed off, “Why the f**k is that? Everything doesn’t have to be your way, Tami doesn’t deserve any of this, she is innocent. I’d never be able to forgive myself or you if anything ever happened to her! Natasha just wants me, if I go to her all his will end, please let me put an end to this.”

Killian grabbed me, pushing me up against the wall, “What, you want to turn yourself over to Natasha to end this? Do you think that your death will bring an end to this feud? Well, guess what baby, it will only cause a war because I will not rest until every last one of them is dead, I won’t give a f**k if I get myself killed in the process, as long as I take a bunch of them to hell with me.”

I shoved at his chest, the idiot!

“Why Killian, why would you want to do something so destructive and obviously stupid?! Why can’t you just let me end what I started, why can’t you just let the violence end with me?!”

He yelled at me, “Because I f**king love you!”

I gasped, I had no words, I was stunned into silence. I wasn’t sure if what I heard wasn’t a figment of my imagination, did he really just said he loved me?

His face softened, he took a step back, running his hand through his hair, then he took my face between his palms, resting his head against mine.

“I’ve loved you from the moment I heard your beautiful voice, and when I saw your face, it was like I was struck by lightning. For years, I told myself that it’s not love. I convinced myself that it was just my obsession with you that made me feel all the things I felt for you, but these past two years I’ve come to realised and accept that, you are my life and I love you with every breath I take. I can’t lose you, Lilly, please don’t ask me to give up my only reason for living.”

What was I supposed to say to that? I couldn’t leave knowing that my death would destroy him, but I also couldn’t just do nothing and let Tami pay for something that she has no part it. What was I supposed to do?

I held onto his face, looking into his eyes, I wanted him to see how much his words meant to me. I wanted him to know how hearing him say those three small words made me fell in love with him all over again. My heartfelt like it was about to burst with love for him, I never imagined that I’d love someone even more than I loved myself, but that’s exactly how I loved Killian.

“I won’t, I love you so much Killian, and I promise that I’ll never leave you. I won’t ever leave you, baby.”

His lips crash down on mine as his body pressed me into the wall, we started passionately kissing each other, forgetting that we were not alone. Mik cleared his throat, which made us broke our kiss. I turned to him, offering him a smile, which he returned with a wink, but when I turned to Kinsley, her face was static. No emotion showed.

“Now that we’ve got that out of the way, can we get back to coming up with a plan to rescue Tami and end Natasha for good? And whiles we’re at it, let get these government goons off of our trail, we have to be very careful how we do things from this moment forward, no more thinking with our dicks.”

Killian rolled his eyes but laced his hand through mine. He brought it to his lips, lightly kissing it. I smiled at him, then he walked us both over to the sofa, placing me on his lap.

Mik and Killian discussed different ways to safely rescue Tami without getting killed themselves. I constantly tried to catch Kinsley’s eyes, but she kept avoiding me. When the guys finished planning, Mik decided that it would be best if they rest the night and start fresh in the morning, to which Killian agreed.

Again, I tried to talk to Kinsley, but she was the first to leave, rushing like she has somewhere important to go. Mik left after smoothing out a few more details with Killian. The rest of the night was spent with Killian and I making love, but this time it was different, both our feelings were poured into it.

When we got up the next morning, I was tempted to tell him about the baby, but with everything that was going on, I decided to wait until it all calmed down. Mik and Kinsley arrived around mid-morning, I wasn’t sure what the plan was because I was too busy trying to get Kinsley’s attention the night before.

So, when Mik asked Killian if he was ready, I realised that they were both about to head into a very dangerous situation, and there was no way I was letting Killian go without me.

“I’m coming with you.”

I expected him to get upset and talk me out of it, but he agreed. “Tash will expect us to come after her, and she’ll expect me to leave you behind. I want you with me just in case she decides to send her men after you again, I want you where I can protect you myself.”

We left, Mik and Kinsley drove in one car, and we drove in Killian’s. We watched as they pulled out of the parking lot, then Killian turned to me. He reached into the glove compartment and pulled out an envelope, handing it to me.

I was curious, so I took it, opening it I saw a passport with my picture but I different name, it said Lianne Blackwell. I was confused, why was he giving me fake documents?

“What is this for?”

He took the envelope from me and took out some other papers and a bank card. “This is a precaution; I want you to take this and run if anything is to happen to me. No one knows about this, not even Mik, the bank account has enough money for you to like comfortably for three lifetimes. I need to know that you’re going to be safe and protected if things were to go wrong.”

I didn’t want it. I wanted no part in it. I pushed it all back to him, “No, I don’t want it because nothing is going to happen to you, you’re going to be fine, and we’re going to live happily ever after!”

I was yelling by the end, tears pouring from my eyes. I didn’t want to hear him talk like that; I just want this stupid war between him and Natasha to be over so that we could live our lives together.

He held me as I cried, rocking me back and forth, “It’s just a precaution, baby, I just want you to be safe.”

“I’ll be safe with you,” I said in between sniffles.

Killian refused to let it go, and I refused to accept it, so we decided to drop the topic until another time.

We pulled up outside a very nice house. It looked relatively new as did all the houses on the street. The place was quiet; it was obvious why Natasha chose that area to hold her hostage. The houses were still being built, so no one had moved in as yet, which meant no neighbours to snoop around.

Killian gave the orders, and everyone moved out. I stayed with him whiles Mik and Kinsley went off together. The rest of Killian’s men split into two groups, one following us and the other going with Mik.

Something didn’t quite feel right about this place; it was far too quiet for a girl as paranoid as Natasha. Killian’s grip on my hand tightened, so I knew that he was feeling as anxious as I was. We quietly entered the house, the men spread out, searching room after room. A muffled sound came from upstairs, so Killian instructed his men to check it out.

However, just as they reach the top, all of Natasha’s men came piling out with their guns raised, pointed right at us. It was so surreal; it was like they came out of thin air, there was so many of them, that they outnumbered us. We came with a lot of men, but hers triple the size of ours.

The men pointed their guns at us, ushering us into a large room. One of them tried to pull me away from Killian, but he aimed his gun at the man’s head, his voice deadly as he spoke.

“Touch her one more time, and I will make a bullet side hole in your head.”

The man puffed up his chest, staring Killian down, just then Natasha came into the room, dragging Tami with her.

“Oh, my God, Tami are you ok?”

I tried to go to her, but Killian held firm. The person who followed behind Natasha shocked me; it was her mother. She looked at me with pity before giving Killian a triumph look.

“Killian, how nice of you to join us, won’t you stay for tea?”

This bitch was crazy, I don’t know what happened to her, but it was clear to see that she was off her rockers. She didn’t look like the good doctor I met. Instead, she looked like she’d just escape a mental asylum. Her clothes looked at lease a few days old, her hair looked like it hadn’t been combed in a month, and her eyes held this crazed look. Sleep has not been the doctor’s friend in a long time.

“Doc, you’re not looking so good, has life not been kind to you?”

The doctor sneered at him, but inside of answering him, she smiled and patted her hair down, as if to keep it in place.

“Enough of this, Killian. Have you change your mind, are you going to hand over your little whore for her friend?”

Killian pulled me close to him, his arm circling my waist then he turned his gun on Natasha.

“Try taking her from me.”

Natasha laughed, “I’ve got an even better idea, why don’t you take her place?”

“NO!” I yelled.

My hand squeezed him; I was so afraid that he might take her up on her offer that I held onto him like a lifeline.

“And why the f**k would I do that?”

Natasha seemed bored with the entire conversation, she sighed impatiently then pushed Tami to the ground. Tami looked scared and confused, her hands were tied behind her back, and her mouth was taped shut. Her eyes kept looking at Killian and me like she never saw us before. I felt bad; it was all my fault that she was in this situation, I should have distanced myself from her.

I give her a look to let her know that I was sorry, but I ended up screaming when Natasha raised her gun and shot her in the chest. She fell back with her eyes wide, staring at me.

“TAMI!”

I couldn’t look at her any longer, so I turned and buried my face in Killian’s shirt. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling; it was all my fault if I had never asked for Killian’s help none of this would have happened.

Natasha laughed like it was all just some big joke, like killing an innocent girl was no big deal. She signalled to one of her men to remove the body then she said, “Bring out the other two.”

What did she mean? I didn’t have to wait long to see who she was talking about because her men brought out my two younger brothers Brandan and Oliver. They looked bloody and beaten up really badly, I screamed and tried to run to them, but Killian refused to let me go. I tried fighting him, but it was no use, he was way stronger than me.

“Please, Killian, let me go, they are my baby brothers!”

My heartfelt like it was crushing under the pressure, I felt torn, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to just wake up from the nightmare that I was living, but I was powerless. I felt useless, unable to help those who need me more.

Natasha smirked, “Now, let’s try this again, shall we? How about you take your little whore’s place for the life of her family or don’t they mean anything to you either because if they don’t, I’d gladly shoot them all?”

I started crying harder, Killian looked from me to my brothers, and a determined look crossed his face. He leant down and kissed my hair then whispered, “I’m sorry, baby.” Then he turned to Natasha and said, “You win Tash, I’ll take her place, and I promise not to kill any of your men, but only if you let them all leave safely.”

I started hyperventilating; he couldn’t be serious. There’s just no way I was letting him turn himself over to psycho bitch.

“Killian, no you can’t, she’ll kill you, please you promised never to leave me.”

He wiped the tears from my face, then kissed me. “Baby, in time you would have forgiven me for Tami, but you’ll never forgive me if anything happens to your family.”

I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but I couldn’t because I knew that he was right. He turned back to Natasha, “So, do we have a deal?”

She smiled brightly, clapping her hands, “Certainly lover, we are going to have so much fun together, you and I.”

She signalled for her men to let my brothers go and Killian’s men stepped forward to collect them.

“Now, get out of my house all of you, before I change my mind and kill you all!”

Some of the men left with my brothers, and a few stayed back when I refused to move. I held onto Killian like my life depended on it, I couldn’t bear the thought of letting him go. He was my life, how was I supposed to live without him?

“Give us ten minutes, Natasha.”

She rolled her eyes, but then smiled, “Because I’m feeling charitable, I’ll let you have five minutes to say your goodbyes.”

She turned and left the room, her men following behind her, but I wasn’t stupid enough to think that we could escape. I knew that even though she made it seem like we were alone, we were anything but.

Killian turned to me, holding my hands, “I love you, baby, I’m sorry it took me so long to say it, but I f**king love the shit out of you.”

I shook my head from side to side, I didn’t want to hear his goodbye, I just wanted it all to be over. Everything hurt, it felt like I couldn’t breathe, just when I thought that we were on a good path, everything fell apart right in front of me. My big angry sobs were not helping, I knew that I needed to be strong for him, but I couldn’t help the pain that I felt deep in my soul.

“Please… please don’t leave me… don’t leave us?”

He looked confused for a bit, “Us?”

I nodded, taking his hand and placing it on my stomach. He stared at the spot that his hand was covering, then he looked at me.

“A baby?”

I nodded, “Yes.”

His lips crushed down on mine, kissing me with everything in him, and I kissed him back just the same. When he pulled back there were tears in his eyes; it was the first and only time I’ve ever seen him shed tears.

He palmed my face, “Roselia, she’ll be as beautiful and as kind-hearted as her mother.”

I smiled a sad smile, “What if it’s a boy?”

He shook his head, “It’s a girl.”

I nodded, my tears flowing again. He looked at his watch, and I knew that our time together was over. He leant in close to me, his lips touching my ear.

“Tell her how much I loved you both.”

I nodded, but I didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want to have to raise our child without him. I wanted him there with me to watch her grown, but I knew that I’d never get to have that.

“Please, Killian, don’t leave us.”

He kissed me one more time before Natasha walked back into the room, “I have to, for both of you. Red, remember what we talked about in the car?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Promise me you’ll do it?”

“I promise.” I cried.

His shoulders slumped, and he breathed more easily. “Take her out of here.”

His men took my arms and carried me from the room when I started fighting them off. I was screaming, yelling his name, pleading with him to don’t leave me, but he turned his back on me.

The bitch Natasha laughed, enjoying my pain, I wanted her dead, I wanted to rip her apart with my bare hands. As I was almost out of the room, all hell broke loose. Natasha’s mother decided that having Killian alive was not an option, so she grabbed a gun from one of the guards and aimed it at him. It all happened so fast, no one was able to stop her before she pulled the trigger.

“Die, you bastard!”

I watched in slow motion as the bullet left the gun and hit Killian on the side of his head. He fell to the ground, not moving, so much blood was pouring out of him that I knew that he was dead.

My entire world collapsed around me, I fought my way out of Killian’s men hold, and drop to the ground. On my knees, I crawled across the room to Killian, all the while screaming. When I got to him, there was so much blood, which made me afraid to touch him.

My hands shook as I touched his face, his eyes were closed, and he looked like he was sleeping. I tried my best to wipe the blood off of his face, but the more I wipe, the bloodier it got.

“B-baby.”

I got no answer, I pushed and pounded on his chest for him to open his eyes and look at me, but he just laid there, still, not responding. At that moment, the entire room slowed down, I was oblivious to everything that was happening around me. The only thing that mattered to me was him, I was staring at the man I love lying in a pool of blood.

Yelling and shouting were coming from behind me, but I ignored it. Someone yelled that we had to leave because someone started a fire and the house was burning, but even that didn’t make me move. I stretched out beside Killian, with my head rested on his chest, my hands were fisted in his shirt so tight, I had no intention of letting go, or leaving him.

One of Natasha’s men tried to pry me away, but I held tight, screaming at him to leave me be.

“No! I’m not leaving him, I’M NOT F**KING LEAVING HIM!”

“Leave her, let her burn with the house if she wants to.”

They all left and I just lay there, wishing that I’d wake up and it’ll all be a bad dream. I heard Kinsley’s voice telling me to get up and get out because I was going to get burned alive if I didn’t leave. I shook my head, I wasn’t leaving him.

“I don’t care; my life is not worth living anymore!”

With all her strength, she pulled me away from him and slapped me across the face. I stared at her confused.

“Snapped the f**k out of it, you think this is what Killian would have wanted, for you to kill yourself?”Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

I couldn’t believe how cold-hearted she was being, I know that Killian has done some shit and hurt her deeply, but he was still her brother.

“How can you be so cold Kinsley, he’s your brother, and that bitch killed him!”

“You think I don’t care, of course, I do, but I’m doing what he would have wanted me to do, and that’s to make sure that you live. And if you love him as much as you say you do, you leave here alive and go live your life.”

I turned and looked at him, trying my best not to break down again. I knew that I needed to be strong, for myself and my baby.

“Natasha will never let me live; she will come after me if she thinks I’m alive.”

Kinsley thought for a while then she smiled at me, “Then we make her think you’re dead.”

“What, how?” I asked confused.

“Just leave the details up to me, all you have to do now is disappear. Knowing my brother, I know he left a contingency plan in place for something just like this.”

I nodded.

“Then do exactly what he told you and disappeared, Lilly Mae Graham Black must die today.”

I was about to protest, but then we heard Mik calling for us. Kinsley ushered me through the side door, not wanting Mik to know about our plan.

“Go, Lilly, the more people we make believe that you are dead, the better chance we have of people buying the story.”

I was hesitant to go, but I knew she was right, so I started running. However, as she turned back into the room, I stopped, unsure if I could go through with it. I heard Mik curse when he saw Killian.

“F**k, have you checked for a pulse?”

I was about to go back into the room when someone grabbed me from behind, covering my mouth so that I couldn’t scream.

“Shh, Angel, it’s just me.”

I turned to Noah, “Noah, what are you doing here?”

“Making sure you don’t get killed.”

He held my hand, pulling me away from Killian. I started panicking, if I left him then it would mean that it was all true and he was truly dead. I wasn’t ready to let myself believe that just, so I pulled my hand away from Noah and made to run back to Killian, but he stopped me.

“Lilly, you can’t go back.”

I looked at him like he was crazy, “I can’t leave him, what if he’s alive, what if he needs me?!”

He looked at me with pity, “Angel, he’s dead, no one can survive a bullet to the head at such close range.”

I started shaking my head, I didn’t want to believe him, he had to be lying. There must be a chance that he might survive it, he can’t be dead. He can’t just leave me to live without him!

“Think about the baby, Lilly.”

That brought me back to my senses, I placed my hands protectively over my stomach. I knew I had to do what Killian asked, and live for my baby. It was his one last wish, and I intend to fulfil it.

I nodded my head, “O-okay, let’s go.”

We run all the way to Killian’s car, I wanted to take it but Noah said that I shouldn’t because Killian’s people will be looking for it. So, I retrieved the documents and Noah took me to his car. On our way, we say a little girl coming out from the back of the house, she looked like she hadn’t eaten in days, and her clothes were torn and dirty.

She looked like she could barely walk, Noah wanted to leave her for the cops to sort out, but I just couldn’t leave her, when it was clear that she was held captive in that house.

I rushed towards her when she fell forward, helping her to her feet. She looked scared, so I reassured her that I wasn’t going to hurt her.

“It’s ok, I’m not here to hurt you, I’m here to help. Can you walk, we need to get out of here before the bad people find us, and we don’t want to get caught in the fire either.”

Her eyes filled with fear, and she quickly got to her feet. Together, Noah and I helped her to the car, he jumped into the driver side, and we took the backseat.

I watched the house go up in flames, and I wondered if Kinsley and Mik moved Killian, I prayed that they didn’t leave him there to burn. I turn to the little girl beside me,

“Where are your parents? What is your name?”

She was looking through the window, just staring at nothing in particular.

“They’re dead, the witch killed them.”

By saying the witch, I knew that she meant Natasha. I couldn’t believe that Natasha was that evil, but I guess I should have expected it.

“Freya, my name is Freya.”

She was looking at me now, her eyes filled with tears. Without thinking, I grabbed her up in my arms and let her cry, whiles letting my tears fall for my lost love.

“Don’t worry; I’ll take care of you.”

Noah drove me away from my old life, and I was unsure what the future holds for me, but I was going to make sure that it was the one Killian wanted me to live.