Diary of Fragile Heart (Spin of Loving You Too Long)

The elapsed time feels short because we enjoy it too much. It’s so leisurely that twenty-four hours in a day don’t seem enough.

Flavia and Gladwin’s routine is always the same. Working, coming home, and enjoying the rest of the day together. Two months passed by just like that. Flavia has begun to manage the café again and started working on reports with the help of her stepmother, Claire. Meanwhile, her studies had to be temporarily postponed. It’s a pity, but what can be done? Her current condition doesn’t allow it. Besides, Gladwin also asked her not to worry too much. Excessive stress is not good for her head.

Apart from the café, Flavia once again only spends time with her cousins. Since the last meeting with her mother-in-law, Flavia hasn’t seen her again. And Gladwin hasn’t visited her either.

Cruel? Some people might judge Gladwin’s action of not meeting his mother as cruel. But Gladwin does all of this to avoid confrontation with his mother. And also for Flavia’s mental health. So far, Abigail has been the mediator, and Gladwin thinks that’s enough.

They always spend the weekend together. As much as possible, Abigail never disturbs them in the apartment. The girl chooses to spend her time at Claire’s place or at Flavia’s house-something Gladwin still doesn’t know about.

Abigail refuses to go home to her parents’ house. Because besides not wanting to face Julie who always sneers at Abigail for siding more with Flavia and Gladwin, she’s also tired of being asked ‘when are you bringing a potential husband’ and similar questions.

Even Flavia heard rumors from Claire that Abigail’s mother intended to set Abigail up with the son of her old friend. And that conversation clearly made Abigail furious.

Flavia herself didn’t dare to question it or comment on it. Her memory gave her no clue about Abigail’s personal life or romantic life.

Sometimes, though, she wondered in her heart if her friend had someone she loved. I mean, did her friend have her own choice and couldn’t introduce him to her family? Because Flavia often saw Abigail lost in thought with the TV on. But when Flavia asked what was wrong, she only replied, ‘we’ll talk about it when your memory returns.’ It’s always like that.

Months passed by. So far, there were no signs of pregnancy in Flavia’s body. Was she suffering? Of course. As a woman, Flavia also wanted to get pregnant and have children so that she could feel like a complete woman. But Gladwin always said ‘we’ve tried, the rest is up to a higher power’ every time Flavia brought it up.

She also often received positive affirmations from Gladwin, Claire, and also Adaline. But still, Flavia felt increasingly restless day by day.

“My mother got pregnant with Abigail’s father after a year of marriage. And my second brother could have a child after five years of marriage. So don’t think ill of God. If He hasn’t given you a child yet, it doesn’t mean you won’t be given one. We just have to be patient and keep trying.” Claire said soothingly. At that moment, Flavia responded to her comment with a nod, pondering it in her heart.

Flavia also didn’t want to taint her mind with negative thoughts. Every person has their own time, including herself. Fate hasn’t given her the chance to have a child yet. She should enjoy it to get to know each other better. Because no matter what, for her, Gladwin and his family are still strangers.

But still, when remembering the time given by her mother-in-law, Flavia’s desire to conceive peaked again. And finally, she spent the night in silence, unable to close her eyes in Gladwin’s embrace.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

Divorce or allowing Gladwin to marry Phoebe. These two options always made Flavia imagine the worst possibilities in the future. She’s comfortable with Gladwin. Her love for him grows stronger over time. She also knows that Phoebe isn’t a woman who captures her husband’s attention. Even hearing her name makes her husband appear reluctant. Especially if they end up living together.

Is it possible for Flavia to offer another option to her husband? Maybe she could find another woman for Gladwin who could give him a child without him having to love her. But who? Where could she find a woman willing to rent out her womb? Even if there is one, what if Gladwin and the woman end up like Uncle Altezza and Aunty Adaline?

God is the Owner of Hearts. What seems impossible can become possible in the blink of an eye. In one snap of a finger. So what if that happens to Gladwin and another woman? Would she accept it?

Actually, just imagining Gladwin touching another woman is something she can’t bear. Her chest feels like it’s being squeezed by invisible hands. Even her whole body aches with fear.

Every night, Flavia cries without Gladwin knowing. Or at least that’s what she thinks because in reality, Gladwin knows his wife’s sadness, and which husband could bear to see his beloved wife in such distress.

Gladwin doesn’t fail to understand or want to comfort Flavia, but every word of consolation that comes out of his mouth doesn’t soothe her; instead, it only makes Flavia feel sadder. So, the last resort Gladwin has is to stay silent and let his wife cry, and afterward, he will spend the rest of the night holding her.

Nine months passed. Flavia now fully understands her job at the café. There’s no more Claire to help her. She even started using her MacBook again, beginning to design some tasks given by her father and uncle. Her time is no longer wasted.

Gladwin would go to the café when lunchtime arrives. Either he would invite Flavia to have lunch elsewhere or bring food from outside and eat it at the café. Or sometimes, Gladwin would ask Flavia to cook something. But that afternoon, Gladwin said he couldn’t come to the café because of an unexpected matter at the hospital, and Flavia just nodded.