THIRTY-FIVE
It’s almost nine pm but I’m still here at a bar to get drunk. I have no intention of going home because I don’t want to see Lauren. Honestly, I’m thinking now about what should I do. Should I leave the house and just move or will she be kicked out? Because I don’t want to be with her anymore.
But I think I am the one who needs to leave. It’s also not good to see if I kick her out so better I will leave.
After she confessed that she has feelings for me I feel like I’m losing interest in being with her. Not because I don’t want her but because I hate her feelings. I told her not to fall for me but what did she do? She feels something in me.
I thought she was doing that because she was happy with our friendship. I thought everything she showed was for good company. It turns out that she is hiding something from me. She destroyed our friendship.
I hold my head. My head hurts not because of alcohol but because of thinking. I don’t want to lose her. But I can’t stay with her also now that I’ve found out that she loves me. We can’t be together anymore because we will get both hurts.
I can’t make her happy. I can’t give her the family she deserves. I thought I was already healed, but—-but the past still haunted me.
“Hi, mind if I sit?” A woman my age asks. She wears a revealing dress that almost exposes her body. “I’m free,” she said and winked. She is not beautiful to me, she is even less sexy in my eyes. She’s nothing compared to Lauren.ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .
“Su—”
“No, he’s not.” I didn’t finish what I was going to say when someone spoke behind me. “He’s married, sweetheart. You can ask me, instead.” It’s Dylan.
“Hi, Dylan.” The woman smiles seductively at him. It was like seeing a lord standing in front of her. How many women does this guy know? I think he has collected almost all the girls in our area.
“But the problem, Val, I don’t like you. You are not good in bed and you can’t take my dick deep in your throat.” The woman rolled her eyes and left us. The asshole laughed when the woman left. Until he sits with me. “Problem?” he asked then sat across from me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. I hate his presence. I hate to see him here.
“Have fun, why not allowed?”
“If you’re here to annoy me you can leave now.”
“Why, do you own this bar? Don’t tell me you don’t know who owns this?”
“What?”
“Nothing, are you going through something?”
“None of your business.”
“Are you and your wife at war?” And he puts his head on the table. His annoying face is so good to strangle.
“None of your fucking business.”
“I know it. That’s how you used to look when you’re broken-hearted.”
“You know very well because that’s how you looked too when she left you.”
“I look worse than that,” he answered. “Anyway, what’s the problem?”
“What do you care?”
“You’re having problems because you’re already in love?”
“Stop saying nonsense.” Then I stood up. Why am I persevering with this nonsense?
“Dale!” I stopped walking. The way Dylan calls me is a fall of authority.
Fuck him! If he will not stop, I promise I will make a big mess here. I know how strong he is. His strength is undeniable but I swear though I will lose I will make a scene.
“Why?” I stare at him while clenching my fist. He stared at me then smiled.
“It will pass.” Then he stood up and went out first.
When he left I didn’t sit down again. I went straight to the exit and then drove home. I already made a decision. I’m about to leave the house and I’ll just be there in my condo while we get our annulment fixed.
When I arrived, I saw a car outside the house. When I got closer, I recognized the car. It’s Lauren’s previous driver. I did not waste time but went down. I ignored the person inside the car and went straight inside the house. I didn’t even greet him.
When I entered the room I saw Lauren sitting on the bed. She was wearing pants and a shirt and by her side was a small suitcase.
“Are you leaving?” I asked upon entering. I just stood at the door and threw the key over the cabinet. She gave me a nod. “Where are you staying?” I seconded.
“In my condo. My other things in the car.”
“Ok,” I said and then looked at the bed where my nightgown was already there.
I ignore the dress and take another. She decided to leave so I will train myself without her. I just took a pair of summer shorts and a t-shirt.
“Hubby. Won’t you stop me?”
“It’s for your own good, Lauren,”
“Aren’t you going to miss me?” I heard her voice crack. I finished changing clothes and I took the book and then called the three cats. I sat on the sofa and the three were on my lap while reading. “Hubby.”
“I’m used to being alone. Leave while it’s early.”
“Because me, I will miss you.”
“Don’t allow yourself to miss me. You’re the only one who will have a hard time.”
“Hubby,” she stands and walks towards me. She sat at my feet. The three looked at her, then Lalat shoved her face. “Hubby, is it my fault that I loved you?”
I signaled the three cats to leave. Tintin and Kiki rush to go to the cat house while Lalat stays. I took her and then put her down and patted her ass so she ran inside. But they are looking at me.
“Hubby, is it a fault?” She was about to touch me but I dodged. This time she was crying.
“Yes, Lauren. It is a great sin to love me.”
“Hubby?”
“Your fault. I told you not to fall for me. You are the one who destroyed the good friendship we have.”
“Because I thought you already fell for me too.”
“And what makes you think that I already love you? Huh?”
“The way you treat me, hubby, no man will stay with a woman like me if he doesn’t love her.”
“Then I am, for the sake of our friendship. And of course, Lauren, I will be good to you because you are my wife. And you taking care of me aside that I can use you anytime I want.”
She didn’t answer and immediately bowed. She only answered with weak sobs and shaking of her shoulders as a sign of crying.
“I will call dad tomorrow, I will inform him that I want to file an annulment.” She looked up just then.
“Hubby?”
“Let’s hurry so you can get back to Hendrick. You just misinterpreted your feeling because you’re always with me.”
“I am sure of my feelings towards you, hubby.”
“Give up, Lauren. You can’t take anything from me. Don’t force yours. Have you seen it? We are ruined because of that fucking feeling of yours.”
“Hubby.” I was surprised when she hugged me and cried. “Hubby I love you so much. I know I love you, I won’t ask you to love me back, but just let me love you, serve you, and stay by your side.”
“Let me go, Lauren.” I removed her hugs but she only tightened them. “I said let me go!” Then I pushed her so hard that she fell down and sat on the floor.
“Hubby, even if you don’t love me is fine. As long as I’m by your side. Even if I’m just your servant, it’s ok with me as long as I’m with you. As long as I’m by your side. Hubby please, please let me love you and take care of you. I won’t ask anything in return.”
“Get out of my house, Lauren, go away.”
“Hubby. Hubby.” She started crying. I stood up and took the car keys. I don’t want to see her cry and beg in front of me.
“If you’re going to leave, leave now. When I come back and you’re still here, I’ll leave.” And I left her while crying and sobbing.
‘I’m sorry, Lauren. I wanted to love you back. But I don’t want to because you won’t be happy with me. You have your own life, you deserve to be happy and I can’t give that to you. I will miss you, I will miss you more than you’ll ever know. And thank you for being a part of my life.’