Dale’s Arrange Wife (ENGLISH VERSION)

I can’t concentrate at work because of what happened last night. Lauren didn’t talk to me either. This morning I saw my things ready but she was no longer by my side. She wasn’t in the kitchen either but there was food there. In other words—-she was not in the house but she prepared my things before she left.

I don’t have any idea where she is. But none of her stuff is missing so I know she will come home too. Anyway, I still feel relieved. Maybe she’s just passing the anger and resentment because of what I did last night.

I also saw her dress in the bathroom. Even the blanket that she uses is stained with blood. So I felt even more guilty about what happened.

I lost control. I really lost myself. When I started to feel the pleasure and my lust awake I lost myself. I forgot what we are and all I want is to release my loads. I shouldn’t have done that but I did.

But at the same time I wonder. What happened was clear to me and I remembered everything. Even those times that I claimed her I still remember who she is. A new to me. Although I lost control, I knew what was happening.

Every time I have sex with anyone I lose myself. I literally didn’t know what I was doing or who I was with. Sometimes I fall asleep and wake up alone and I don’t know if I made it or what. Sometimes my partner said that it was so bad that they could hardly walk. That I am wild and beast. I just smile along but the truth is I don’t even remember what I did.

One of the reasons why I don’t sleep with women very much. Because when my lust wakes up, I lose myself. I can’t control myself and I’m not in control. I became a beast, a monster in bed. I can’t hear anything but myself. I want to do nothing but finish what I did.

Lauren is not the first woman that begged me to stop. She wasn’t the only one who tasted the wrath of my desire in bed. How many women have cried and begged me but I didn’t listen? I don’t know, because I can’t even count.

Because every time I came back to my senses some of my women cried and begged. The rest of them—-no—almost all of them had bruises and kept fighting and swearing at me. But hell I care, they come with me so they like what happened.

But last night was different. Because when I saw Lauren’s tears it was like waking up from a nightmare. I felt sorry for her and annoyed with myself last night. And also everything on me so cleared. Although I lost control I know what happened. How I claimed her and how we ended up.

I don’t want Lauren to be mad at me. She’s the person who understands me. The only person that cares about me. She’s not only my wife, but a best friend. A true friend.

I’m confused. What if she left my place? What if she gets mad at me forever because of what I did? What if she leaves me and just decides to file an annulment? She has all the reasons to do it because I abused her.

I don’t care about the annulment because I know that’s the way to go. But losing a friend like her—–fuck it hurts me. I’m just hurting now.

I hold my head and put it on the table. I think I’m going crazy to think. I want to call him but I know she won’t answer me either. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I pick up my things and then leave the office. I just ask my secretary that if dad will ask where I am just tell him that I need to cope up with something. I don’t know where I’m going but I’m sure of one thing—-I want to think right. I want to apologize to Lauren for claiming her without her approval. For abusing her, for—-for raping her.

My feet brought me to the beach. I also do not know why. Maybe because the beach is one of the quiet places. Here, you can think properly and no one can disturb you.

I took my phone to call Lauren. But when I opened the lock, our wedding picture is the first view that exposes me. I just gasped. This is the friend I’m going to lose if I don’t fix it right away. I made a mistake. A terrible mistake and I must apologize and make amends.

Instead of calling her, I decided to leave. While driving I thought of buying flowers so I passed by the flower shop. I chose the expensive flowers. Beautiful and big, then the packaging is nice and cozy. I even bought chocolate for her.

While driving home I couldn’t get Lauren out of my mind. What will be her reaction? If she will forgive me or maybe when I arrive she has already prepared her things and leave me.

I am just entering the subdivision when I met Hendrick’s car. Not a big deal for me because I know they are lovers. I was even happy because I knew that she was already at home and the assholes drop her.

Does Hendrick know what happened? Did Lauren tell it? Well, I don’t care. If Lauren gets mad at me and hurts me, I will accept it. But if he interferes—–I might bury him alive.

When our car passed I waited for him to react but he just honked at me so I reciprocated. Then I was passed so I didn’t even bother to talk to him until I got there and parked.

I took a deep breath before going down. I don’t know what to do first. I looked at the flowers and hesitated whether to give them to her. But in the end I still chose to carry the flower and chocolate and went inside.

I caught her changing her dress. The flower was behind me and I couldn’t hand it to her.

“Hi,” I greeted her but she only nodded. I slowly walked closer to her and took out the flower. I’m nervous to hand it to her and she might just slap me in the face and say she can’t take it like that.

“For you.” I swallowed and maybe later she’ll hook me up. She took the flowers and chocolate and placed them on her bedside table. “How are you?” I ask.

She didn’t answer so I didn’t speak. She didn’t even say thank you for what I gave him.

‘Fuck you, Dale, what thanks are you saying? That’s not even enough because of what you did. Look, you raped her. You raped your wife. Even if it’s said that she started it, it’s still rape because she objected and got hurt, you idiot.’

Lauren passed on me and went out. He just walked past me and didn’t move. I also noticed that her walk was uneven. It was obvious that there was pain in that part because she was a little nervous. I just let her go because I knew she was going to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

I just changed my clothes. When I finished I didn’t go out. I thought about what I should do or how I should start. I want to say sorry to her because of what I did but how? She did not talk to me.

Until I thought nothing would happen if I stayed here inside and waited. I have to go out and apologize. Accept everything she tells me even if she hits me in the face with a pot and breaks my head with a pitcher.

I went out and headed to the kitchen and I caught her just turning off the stove.

“Do you need any help, wife?” I ask.

“No.” Then she went to the fridge to get water and made juice.

“Wife. I am sorry for what happened last night. I don’t know how to explain it to you but-but I lost control. I’m sorry, wife. I didn’t mean it.” She did not answer. “Wife, please be angry with me. Hurt me, scold me, stab me it’s ok. But please, please talk to me because I’m not used to us being like this.”

“I did not deserve that kind of treatment,” she finally spoke and I saw her wipe her tears. “You humiliate me, Dale. Not only being your wife but also being a woman,” she added but still not looking at me.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“That was not the first that I wanted. I did not ask you to make it romantic but at least not like that. I am your wife, Dale. I am not a prostitute. Even if I gave you the motive, I still don’t want you to treat me like that.”

“I know.” Then I came closer to her and took her hand then face her. “I’m sorry.”

She punched me on my chest then cried. “I hate you. I hate you, Dale.”

“Hurt me, and I’ll accept it. But please don’t hate me.” I pulled her closer to me then hugged her. “I’m sorry, Lauren. Please, accept my apology. I am sorry, wife.” But instead of answering, she just cried and hugged me back.

“Don’t do it again.”

“Promise I won’t.” I kiss her on the forehead and wipe her tears. “I’m sorry. I swear it won’t happen again. Forgive me, wife.” She nods while hugging me so I kiss her head. “I don’t want you to be mad at me. I can’t, wife.”

“Just don’t do that again.”

“I swear, I swear I won’t.” And I hugged her even tighter.