#1 Chapter 57
“Yeah, sure.”
An impatient rap on the glass makes my muscles tense. What the fuck is his problem? I follow him outside.
“You were so rude to her,” I tell him the moment the door swings shut. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He grabs my wrist and drags me to a secluded corner, his lips white and shaking. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me. You’re a fucking liar.”
“What?”
The acidic tone cuts me to my core. I don’t know what he’s talking about, but the vicious look he gives me makes me swallow down bitter guilt.
“You were pregnant with that jackass’s kid the whole time, weren’t you? He told me that he made you take pregnancy tests.” He searches my stunned face. “Well, is it true?”
“Tony, that’s not really-”
“Jesus.”
His eyes fracture in pain and he turns away from me as though he can’t stand the sight of me. I feel like the worst human being on the planet.
“Tony, I have to tell you what happened.”
“Fucking save it,” he hurls over his shoulder.
I step in front of him. The furious look on his face scares me-that hint of a predator that I saw in the bar lifts his head and glares at me-and I swallow hard, hoping he won’t just brush me aside.
“Trust me, you want to hear this.” I take a deep, shuddering breath. “It was the day I went to get some of my stuff. Rafael was waiting for me, and he had the tests. He wanted to know it was true.” I swallow hard as Tony gives me a venomous look. “They were positive. I didn’t know I was pregnant.
“Tony-it’s your-it’s your baby.”
“What?”
He stands there, his white face suddenly bloodless like the snow under his feet. The silence is deafening between us. The traffic from the street muffles to a distant murmur as my heart beats in my head. My mouth opens and closes. Why the fuck is this so hard?
Please don’t hate me. “You what? You forgot to take your fucking pills?”
I nod shamefacedly and he swears so loudly that it echoes down the alley.
“I don’t believe this.”
“It’s real. I’ve been to the doctor. I-I’m sorry, Tony.”
His hands tremble as he rakes them through his hair, looking anywhere but at me. He doesn’t want to acknowledge it. I don’t blame him.
I’m sorry I got pregnant with your kid, who you obviously don’t want. I’m sorry I entered into your life at all.
I’m just sorry.
“When were you going to fucking tell me?”
“I know, it’s just-there was so much shit going on, and I was afraid to tell you,” I force myself to raise my voice, “and I just want to say that you don’t have to do anything-you don’t have to be in its life. I totally understand.”
He seizes his hair and pulls, shaking his head. “I cannot fucking believe this.”
My heart stalls. I knew it-I knew he’d be like this, but it’s still like a spike to my heart.
“I’m sor-”
“I don’t want this!” he explodes. “What kind of fucking father can I be? I’m not fit to be one at all.”
Tears spill down my cheeks. “That’s not true.”
“How the fuck would you know?”
He looks at me with the air of someone being clubbed on the head. He’s right, isn’t he? He’s a Mafioso. I’m just waiting to die, he said.
“You’re a good man. I know you don’t like to believe it-”
Wild, strangled laughter cuts me off. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you are dead wrong about that. You don’t know me. You don’t know a thing about the life I lead.”
“Actually, I do. My dad was a boss, remember?”
That shit-eating grin is back on his face as he pins me against the wall, nudging my thighs open with his leg. I always feel so small when he surrounds me like that. It’s not just his size. It’s his presence: overwhelming and intoxicating at the same time. The energy between us shifts as he takes my waist in his hands, as his knee grinds my pussy. It’s electric. My heart pounds, and I can’t breathe as he leans in closer.
“Yeah, I know all about you Mafia princesses. Daddy would have never showed you the dark side of his business. You only saw the clothes, the jewelry, the charity gala dinners-”
“I’m not an idiot, Tony. I read the papers, and I was smart enough not to swallow every lie he tried to feed us.”
“Reading about it in the paper,” he sneers. “Last night, I spent eight hours torturing some poor fuck with his head trapped in a vise. Do you know what happens to someone’s head when it’s crushed? The eyes pop out.”
A cruel mask slides over Tony’s face, and it occurs to me that he might be right. That I might not know this man at all. Darkness swirls in his eyes, but they’re the same ones that dented with pain when told me that he never wanted this life for himself.
“Why are you trying to scare me?” My voice grows stronger. “What exactly are you trying to accomplish, here? The baby’s coming whether you like it or not.”
“I’m trying to make you understand that I’m not a good man. I shouldn’t be in any kid’s life. I’m nothing but a bad influence.”
“You don’t have to be in its life.”
The thigh nudges me again, and a ripple of desire moves up my body. The things he says makes my stomach cave in. Pressure builds up behind my eyes, and I’m pissed off, too. I don’t believe that he’d be a bad influence. He’s the one who saved me without asking for a single dime in return.
“I’m going to be in the kid’s life. I just don’t know for how long.” He touches my face gently as another tear rolls down my cheek. His other hand curls around my waist, smoothing over my belly. His gaze softens for a moment. Then suddenly he pulls my arm and I scramble after him in the streets.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.
“Tony, where are we going?”
We stop in front of his car and he opens the door, pointing inside.