Breaking The Routine

Chapter 10 Chapter 10 - Consequences

Sam entered in her empty house and tossed the keys as custom. She took off her heels and pushed them under the table. It had been a week since she lied for her father and against David. She looked over to the couch and remembered the day David came over for lunch more or less.

She felt tears well up in her eyes and her heart ached. She wanted him gone and for things to go back to normal that day but things would never go back to being the way they were before. In the diner no one whispered or snickered at her any more like she had wanted but now everyone looked at her with disapproval, concern, or pity. Sam wasn't sure which look she hated most.

No one longer tried to talk to her and ignored her when possible but instead of simply not seeing her as they used to, they hated her. Stephanie accused Sam being a traitorous brown nosing douche bag when she had heard of what had happened, except Stephanie had used much more colorful language. Even Adam, the biggest goody two shoes had started looking down on her and snubbing any conversation with her.

Sam wiped a tear from her cheek and turned away from the couch. Out of all those people in the club why did David have to dance with her, and why out of all the companies in the country did he have to work for her father, she asked silently. Why did he care for her when she was the one person in this world that wasn't made to live like everyone else because as she had proven time and time again she could only screw things up! Sam was sure it was some kind of defect at birth she had that made a simple thing impossible.

Tabby still wasn't speaking to her and the house seemed to be haunting her. She trudged towards the kitchen to start dinner but only threw it out when she was finished. She wasn't able to stomach anything despite her hunger; her stomach clenched on itself and threatened to reject anything she would eat.

Sam asked herself for the millionth time, if she did the right thing lying to David like that and if it was then why did she feel so awful. She let out a loud sigh to break the silence as she dragged her feet towards the bathroom. She slowly took off the clothing staring at her reflection as if she expected it to tell her what she needed to hear but of course it only mimicked her movements. Scowling at her reflection she turned on the shower and stepped under the steaming hot water trying to ease the stress that attacked her body ignoring the fact the water had scalded her skin pink.

She stepped out of the shower once the water had gone cold and wrapped herself in a yellow fluffy towel, yellow was supposed to make people feel better or so she had heard but she didn't feel better. She walked into the living room and picked up her cell phone where it laid near her keys.

She needed her friend and needed to fix things between them. Especially since it was probably the only thing she could be able to fix out of this whole mess. Her spirits rose slightly upon hearing Tabby's voice.

"I am so sorry, Tabby! I am so sorry I said those aweful things to you! I didn't mean any of them at all," She sobbed.

"Oh I know Sam, I am sorry too. I guess I shouldn't have been so blunt," Tabby replied.

"No the fault is all mine, Tabby. I should have known you were only trying to help," Sam replied.

They talked for hours and Tabby thankfully didn't mention David or the horrible incident once. Sam apologized during the conversation nearly a hundred times wanting to make sure she still had her best friend. Sam really loved that crazy blonde and the thought of losing her too was enough to kill her. When the call finally did end Sam hung up the phone with a small sad smile, at least she still did have her best friend, that had to count for something!

A month passed and things with Tabby had gotten back to normal. Sam sat in the diner waiting for Tabby to arrive. The warm summer sun felt good on her skin, and she allowed herself to enjoy the

simple pleasure. She looked up to see Tabby sit down with her and Sam felt her heart leap to her throat when the guy that was David's lawyer sat down beside her. The look he gave her was murderous and Sam swore if it wasn't for Tabby he would have reached over the table and snap her neck.

"Hey Sam, I don't think you two have ever been officially introduced. Sam this is Mark and Mark this is Sam," Tabby said clearly missing the tension between them and Mark's face suddenly changed to a softer expression.

"H-hello," Sam managed to croak.

"Hello Sam," he said with a hint of ice on his voice. A teen came over to take their order and as much as Sam tried to make up an excuse to leave Tabby managed to break through them forcing Sam to stay. She didn't want Mark to know she wanted to run away from him as far as possible. Tabby happily talked away, about Mark, their relationship, or telling Mark about work, life, and so on while Sam tried to eat but her stomach was a nervous knot.

Every time Tabby would look away Mark's face would harden and grow hateful and Sam bowed her head shamefully. Her list of people who hated her was growing by the day, she thought sadly. Why did everyone hate her so much, she only did what had to be done! Why couldn't anyone see that but her!

Shortly after the run in with Mark, Sam decided to sell her grandmother's house. As much as she loved the house she just couldn't live there anymore. The silence was haunting her and made her think about David nearly constantly which made her heart break all over every time she woke up or came home from work. It took a while to sell, nearly a whole month before Dottie's daughter and husband decided to buy the place. Sam sold all the furnature that the couple didn't want and rented a tiny apartment that was only five minute walk from work buying all new furniture. So nothing could possibly ever remind her of David and the time they had spent together.

Though she couldn't help but think of him on a daily basis. She hoped he didn't suffer too much because of her but then realized what a silly thought that was. Sam was nothing special and nothing that a man like David could suffer over. He probably already had another girlfriend the first day he went back to New York; guys like him never stay single for long.

Though the thought of him with another woman made her feel so jealous that she wanted to scream till her throat was raw but she forced herself to swallow the petty emotion. She had no right to be jealous! David was never hers or meant to be hers, and she shouldn't even be allowed to miss him what's more feel jealous!

Sam got up from her desk and picked up the papers that her father needed that morning and headed to his office. It had been two months since the incident with David. "You look horrible," her father stated harshly as he looked up at Sam and she shook her head with disbelief.

"Well I'm not exactly feeling that great nor am I sleeping that well," she confessed with a little bitterness in her voice and he glared at her darkly.

"Well when you come into work I want you looking ready for the day," he retorted and she laid the papers on his desk and sat in a chair in front of him. He gave her a confused look as she eyed him slowly and seriously, for the first time she really tried to look at him.

"Dad," she started,

"Mr. Peters," he corrected her angrily and she frowned.

"Dad," she repeated pointedly. "I want to talk to my father not my boss!" Sam snapped then sighed leaning her head back into the chair and glared up at the ceiling. "I am not doing so well, I don't think we acted right with David," she explained sadly bringing her head forward to look at her father. His glare intensified when she mention David's name.

"Don't talk about that boy with me, Samantha. I am still trying to fix all that mess you made," he snapped and she sighed. He still blamed the whole thing on her and took no responsibility for himself.

"Dad, if you hadn't pushed him like you did and I didn't lie like I did, you wouldn't have a mess to clean up," she snapped at him. "I know it's stupid but I...really...love him," she admitted sadly playing with the edges of the leather chair and her father laughed a cold harsh laugh.

"Your right it is stupid Sam. You didn't love him, you lusted Samantha! You wouldn't know the first thing about love," he told her with cold amusement marking his face. "We did what we had to do that is all. If you're not doing good and you don't feel well then deal with it. Stop acting like such a child and get back to work," He ordered her callously. Sam looked at him in hurt and disbelief feeling as if he just sucker punched her to the face.

"That is your answer," Sam demanded. "I come to you for help...for comfort...and this is what you tell me, Grow up, deal with it and get back to work?" She asked not believing that her father would actually treat her in such a way.

"Yes Samantha that is what I am telling you! Quit expecting me to solve all your problems for you, you're an adult woman and you deal with your own problems. Now grow up, deal with it and get to work," he told her raising his voice.

Sam looked at the aged man before her. Her father, the man that should love and cherish her but she saw no love or adoration in his eyes, only stone coldness and disappointment. "Oh my God," she said dazed with shock. "What have I done," she asked herself with horrified realization. Her father looked at her with a bored expression.

"Everyone is right and I...," She started getting up from the chair. "How could you! How could you do this to me, your daughter," Sam shouted at him.

"I have no idea what your talking about Samantha but I am a busy man and I don't time to set aside to listen to your claims for drama," he told her with a dismissive way of his hand. Sam slammed her fists down on his desk feel furious.

"My claims for drama? You bitter old man, how dare you! You've ruined my life and the one chance I had to have love! How dare you," Sam yelled then stomped towards the office door.

"I can't believe you father, after every stupid thing I have done for you, I can't believe you can't simply return the damn favor," She told him throwing open the door and stomping out into the lobby grabbing the few personal items she had and leaving that building with the intention of never returning.

Sam sat the window seat staring at the sun sink slowly into the city skyline. A few snowflakes fell slowly to the street below. She always thought she would hate big cities but in the three months she had been in Indianapolis she found she loved it. It had been four months since she had yelled at her father realizing the big mistake she had made and the real betrayal she had committed against the people who really cared about her six long months ago. Sam didn't talk to her father again after that day and her father didn't try to speak with her either.

She had thought about calling or going to see David several times. She even dialed his number countless times but quickly hung up; she was just too ashamed of herself. He probably had already moved on and didn't want to hear from or see her again. She had betrayed him so badly the last time she saw him that she doubt no matter what she said he wouldn't be able to forgive her. She couldn't even forgive herself so how could he.

Sam sighed pushing a strand of hair out of her eyes and blinking back tears that threatened fall. She looked at her text book opened up at her lap. She tried to go back to reading the paragraph she had read like five times and still didn't get what she really read. Her phone started to ring on the small coffee table. She sighed again grabbing it and answered the phone. "Hey how's my best girl?" Tabby asked and Sam smiled.

"Oh fine I guess," she sighed returning her attention back to the skyline.

"That doesn't sound very convincing" Tabby asked and Sam laughed quietly.

"That's because I am not very convinced. How are things in the big apple?" Sam asked breathing on the window fogging it up and drawing a smiley face on the window.

"Great I love this city. It's so alive! Mark is wonderful, for a pretty boy he can be really sweet!" Tabby cheered and Sam let another small smile spread across her lips. Sam was really happy for her friend though she also felt really jealous too. She knew if she hadn't been so stupid she could have had that too. The familiar ache in her chest stung as it did the first day, and she knew it always would be there. Some wounds time simply couldn't heal.

"That's awesome Tabby. You two are really great together," Sam told her. Tabby was silent for a moment.

"I told myself I would stay out of it but I can't resist. How come you never ask me about him? You know that he and Mark are really close," Tabby asked finally and Sam felt her chest tighten and the ache grew worse. She knew who Tabby was referring to none other than David.

"I have thought about it. Almost every day I think about it," she admitted honestly. "But I don't want to know," she finished sadly.

"You don't, why not?" Tabby asked with confusion in her voice.

"I know he has moved on, it's only logical but if you tell me so it becomes real. Real that he has forgotten me and real the wonderful girl that has entered in his life that managed heal all the hurt I have done, the jealousy would be enough to kill me!" Sam explained blinking back the tears that wanted to fall.

"That is a lot of assuming going on, how can you be so sure that it's like that?" Tabby asked and Sam felt her stomach flip on itself. She cursed Tabby for being so cruel.

"It's not assumption Tabby, it's how life works now can we please change the subject." Sam pleaded.

"Sure, how is school going, any hot guys there," Tabby asked and Sam could almost see her wiggling her eyebrows. A month of mopping and eating up her savings Sam decided to enroll in the University of Indianapolis studying business major and get out of that horrible little town. She couldn't stand being in the same place as her father.

Sam laughed at Tabby's choice of subject change; she had a committed boyfriend but still found time to talk about men. "I am too busy learning to take notice of guys," Sam told her.

"Well then there can't be any guys there that hot or otherwise you would have noticed no matter what," Tabby teased her and Sam rolled her eyes.

"You are a constant flirt Tabby; you're going to drive poor Mark nuts!" Sam scolded her friend playfully. They continued to talk for a hour longer till Sam had to finally hang up to get her reading done she glanced out the window looking to the city draped in the early night. She smiled sadly before turning to her book but she put it down after two hours and only managing to read three pages.

Tonight she couldn't concentrate on the words on the pages, her thoughts kept going back to David. She couldn't help but wonder what he was doing at that exact moment or who he was with. She felt a pang of jealousy thinking of him with another woman at this very moment. She sighed again covering her face with her hands feeling pathetic and depressed. Would she ever be able to feel good again, she wondered as she got up off the window seat and headed towards bedroom. She might was well try to catch up on her sleep since she obviously couldn't study.

The next day Sam didn't have any classes but decided to go to the campus library to pick up what she wasn't able to do yesterday. She looked around the large library with the walls covered with books, and book cases that towered over her. She loved this place and always felt as if she stepped into a new world. It was the only place she to feel relaxed and at peace. She sat down at her favorite table near a large window. She felt a smile sneak up on her face as the late fall morning light warmed up her skin.

"Wow Samantha smiling, now that does make it worth coming here on a Saturday morning," a man said with a playful smile sitting down in the chair in front of her. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes.

"Good morning Robert," she replied with a light sigh.

"Don't act like you don't love my company," he told her with a smug smirk and Sam found a smile breaking across her lips.

"I don't believe I ever made such claims as not liking your company," she replied back to him.

"It was implied with that sigh you made after you said so dully "Good morning Robert." So what has my little study bunny smiling today," Robert asked her breaking as he tucked a piece of his rebellious brown hair behind his ear and she laughed shaking her head ever so slightly at him.

"Study bunny that is a new one," she said with a tiny grin.

"I know I have a way with words that is why I am a philosophy professor you know," Robert told her with wink. "So," he insisted. "What has got my overcast comrade actually smiling," he repeated when she looked at him confused.

"This is my favorite place and my favorite time of day," she said with an indifferent shrug and he smiled.

"You're so particular Samantha," Robert replied taking off his glasses to clean them with a little cloth he always kept in his vest pocket. Sam smiled at him knowing that was his form of a compliment.

The man was in himself particular as well but she liked that about him. Almost all the girls she talked with thought they were having some secret love affair but he was only a good friend to her. Shortly after meeting him, much to her surprise he did ask her out to dinner but she refused. There was only ever one man for Sam, and she pushed him away.

"Christmas is coming up, you going anywhere," He asked replacing his glasses then leaned over on the table and drumming his fingers softly on the large wooden table. Sam sighed. She was tired of talking about Christmas break and it seemed like everyone asked her just that.

"Tabby keeps asking me to go to New York but I told her no, seriously how could she really ask me to do that?" Sam told him with a scowl.

"That sounds like a great idea Samantha, why wouldn't you go," Robert asked with apparent genuine doubt.

"Seriously, you're asking me why," she shot back with disbelief.

"Yeah seriously," he replied mimicking her voice and she narrowed her eyes him but a smile spread across her lips.

"Gee lets list the many reasons why I will never step my foot into New York ever again! First Mark and David are like best friends! Second after what happened Mark hates my guts! Third I could run into David! Fourth I could run into his girlfriend! Fifth there is no way in hell I could handle that!" Sam listed angrily holding up her fingers as she counted.

Robert starting laughing so hard that the librarian shooshed him giving him the evil eye while she mumbled something along the lines of professors should know better. Robert gave her an apologetic look then turned back to Sam.

"Well you don't have to hang out with stick in his ass Mark or Davey boy or his girlfriend. Stay in a hotel and visit your friend in neutral ground," he told her. Sam opened her mouth then shut her mouth then chewed her lip in thought. That really wasn't that bad of an idea.

"I don't know," she said slowly looking towards her book.

"Well how about if I go with you? I don't have any family, as you know, and I don't have any plans yet, it is perfect. I have been dying to finally meet this girl you keep talking about. When she is busy with stick up his ass Mark we could go do some tourism. I heard there are some great museums there." Robert explained starting to sound excited.

Sam grinned at the idea, it sounded like a wonderful plan and she really did miss Tabby a lot. It had been months since they had been with each other. "Plus if you happen to run into lover boy it will give you a chance to apologize. Which whether you like it or not, you need to do Samantha so you can start forgiving yourself and start the process of turning page," he told her giving her a serious look. Sam's stomach clenched on itself at the idea, no she couldn't do that. There was no way she couldn't face David ever again and she wasn't going to ever turn the page because there was nothing for her to turn too.

Robert gave her a questioning look and she sighed yet again. "Well if you're going to be there..." she started, and he nodded. "I will think about," she told him and he looked disappointed. "I swear Robert I will honestly think about seriously going to New York with you," she told him and He nodded once more with a small smile. "Now what kind of professor are you that you won't even let me read this chapter that I have been trying since last night!" She playfully scolded him.

"Oh, sorry Miss I didn't mean to interrupt!" Robert got up giving her a pat on the back. "See you later Samantha, and don't think too long," he called to he quietly and went on his way.

Four hours later Sam entered her apartment throwing her bag to the corner. Thanks to Robert she still wasn't able to read the chapter. All she could think about was his plan for New York and whether or not to go. Despite her fear of being in the same city as David, no matter how big it was, she was seriously considering it.

After another few hours of silent contemplation Sam pulled her cell out of her purse calling Tabby as she threw herself to the couch. "Hey Sam, what's up," Tabby answered melodically.

"Hey Tabby, that invitation still up from Christmas break?" Sam asked and Tabby quickly and loudly told her it was. "Then I think I will go," She said slowly. Tabby squealed so loud she had to pull the phone away from her ear.

"That is awesome!" Tabby yelled excited. "What finally made you change your mind?" She asked curiously.

"A friend of mine, he came up with a convincing plan and he will be coming along too," Sam told her.

"He!" Tabby exclaimed and Sam knew she had made a very bad mistake when she mentioned that her friend was a man. "You are bringing a guy with you! I thought you said you weren't going out with anyone," Tabby asked her and Sam cringed. Why the hell did people always assume if a man and a woman were friends, it had to automatically mean something else than just friends, she wondered.

"I said he was a friend, Tabby and that is exactly what I meant friend, nothing more." Sam told her pointedly.

"Yeah he is a boy and a friend so he is a boyfriend. Is he cute?" Tabby asked totally ignoring what Sam had said. She shook her head; Tabby was hopeless, completely and totally hopeless.

"Tabby, he is my friend nothing more and I mean it! Seriously Robert is like a brother to me," Sam argued with irritation.

"Alright, alright I was just teasing geez, relax lady! I can't wait to see you again. I got to go; Mark is watching some silly sports game and telling me to be quiet, talk to you later" Tabby stated and hung up. Sam then called Robert and let him know she had agreed to go. He was almost as excited as Tabby was.

"This will be good for you Samantha, you'll see," he told her and Sam frowned.

"Do not get any funny ideas in your head mister; I am going to see my friend and nothing more. Got it," she told him.

"I don't know what you're talking about Samantha, I was simply referring to the change of scenery," he told her with a confused tone but she wasn't buying it. Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

"Good and it better stay that way because I will tell you now I am not going to have some heart to heart with David," she told him with insistence.