CHAPTER 52
Valerie’s POV
Fred and Brenda are the only ones who know that I am a virgin. No one else knows. Not even my mother.
Because of the wild parties Brenda and I go to and the fact that I had a boyfriend, she must have assumed that I have lost my virginity.
She never asked me but I know that is what she thinks. She is my mother yet she doesn’t know a lot about me.
If only Mother knows, I will think she told Ryan this behind my back but Mother doesn’t know so who did?
“You can’t have sex with someone you don’t love but you never had sex with Fred and you two have been together for years. Don’t you love him?”
“Ho.. w.. how did you know that?” I find myself stammering as I ask him with intense curiosity.
“How I know doesn’t matter, does it?”
“It does”, I retort back, desperate for him to answer me.
Silence ensues, except for the loud beating of my heart which I can hear. I continue to watch him, anticipating the answer to the question I asked him.
“I will answer you”, he drops his hand from his waist and points a finger at me. “if you answer me first.”
What question? I ask within me as I furrow my brows at him.
“Why didn’t you have sex with Fred?” He finally asks. “Didn’t you love him genuinely?”
“Of course, I did!” I shout unexpectedly, feeling sad that we are doing this. We are talking about my relationship with Fred the same day I bumped into him and had dinner with him as well as a silly kiss.
“I did love you. Don’t accuse me of leading him on for nothing…”
“I am not accusing you, Val”, he interrupts me and I realize I am overreacting.
My breathing has increased because of the sudden anger I am feeling. I don’t want to talk about Fred. Not with Ryan. I feel uncomfortable talking about him with Ryan but I guess I have to answer his question for me to get my answer too.
“I wasn’t ready”, I reveal calmly, my gaze down and my arms folded around my bosom.
He seems surprised at my question but I don’t have anything else to add. He should understand my point.
“You were not ready?” He asks, as though he didn’t hear me right. “Is that why you two broke up?”
“You haven’t answered my question…”
“I swear I will. Just answer all my questions, ok?” He says again, cutting me off from shouting at him to answer me already. “If you loved him, why didn’t you have sex with him?”
“I just told you I wasn’t ready…”
“You just told me you can’t have sex with a man you don’t love which means you can’t have sex with me unless you are in love with me!” He shouts right back at me, shocking me to the bones.
“We are not meant to love each other, are we?”
“What if we do?” He retorts back in question sharply.
I open my mouth to say more but nothing seems to be coming to my head. I am suddenly lost for words because I don’t know where this is going.
Is he indirectly telling me that he is in love with me?
“How did you know that I didn’t have sex with him?”
“You told me”, he replies as if expecting the question from me.
“What?!” I exclaim with a short laugh. I am so sure I didn’t tell him that. When did he become a liar? Does he lie often?
“Yes, you did. You might have forgotten but you told me yourself last night after we saw him with Celina…”
“I didn’t, Ryan”, I deny again, hoping this is true because I can’t remember saying anything of that sort.
“You got drunk when we got home, remember? You told me you never had sex with him. I didn’t believe it but from your surprised expression when I accused you just now, it is obvious you were speaking the truth.”
My mouth hangs open. I did tell him. Why don’t I remember?
I’m embarrassed, I look down.
Shit!
Was I so drunk? I thought it was just a few drinks. What else happened that I can’t remember?
I can’t bring myself to look up at Ryan, probably because he now knows who I really am or because of how I must have reacted last night.
Did I also cry? What other silly things did I do?
“He mentioned that you didn’t break up with him because he cheated”, he says, referring back to the statement Fred made.
“Don’t mind him. He must be talking about sex. I refused him sex and he went out to get it. He wants to use that against me”, I wave it away with my hand, realizing how casual I am talking about him now.
A low chuckle emanates from him and I hoist my head to meet his eyes boring into mine.
I glance away.
When his chuckle won’t stop, I open the string door and walk out in anger, wishing I never agreed to drink with him last night. If only I didn’t, then I wouldn’t be this embarrassed and he wouldn’t be laughing at me. Also, I will have enough right to be mad at him for proposing such a silly offer to me.
“Val”, he runs to catch up with me.
When he gets close to me, he rushes over to stop me with his arms wide.
I examine his expression. He is no longer laughing but his eyes hold twinkles of amusement.
“Let’s go home. I’m tired already.” I say and walk past him to continue walking towards the motorcycle so we can go home.
I have a lot of thinking to do and I have lost total interest in the beauties of the garden. I guess I will have to come here on my own some other time.
That will definitely be at night so I won’t get arrested for trespassing. I don’t know how Ryan found this place but his confidence is making me suspect that he knows the resident of the building who must be the owner of the garden.
Before I get to the motorcycle, something clicks in my head. I suddenly remember I also have a question I need to ask him. If I don’t ask him now, I might not get another chance to ask him.
After all, this was the main reason why Fred had the gut to kiss me. If only I didn’t have lunch with him out of curiosity, he wouldn’t have kissed me.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
Twirling back abruptly, I almost bumped into him because he is right behind me but he grabs me.
Without waiting any more seconds, I demand. “Who is Celina Sebastian?”
The amusement in his eyes disappears and his face suddenly goes dark.