BEST FRIEND’S BROTHER

Sasha drew in a sharp breath. That was what she had been hinting at, yes. She hadn’t expected him to be quite so blunt about it. He didn’t wait for an answer.

“There’s no need to start looking coy all of a sudden. That, presumably, is what you’re angling to hear about? My past… Or current relationships?”

“I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t interested,” she told him quietly. “Yet I’m not really certain that I want to hear about them.”

“Maybe you should start the ball rolling by telling me about yours,” he challenged softly.

“Oh, just… the usual.”

“That’s a pretty sweeping definition.” He narrowed his eyes. “Ever come close to marrying?”

“Nope. Have you?”

He shook his head. “Never. Ever been in love?”

Well, she certainly wasn’t going to admit to loving… she deliberately changed the tense… to having loved him. Honesty should not equal humiliation!

“What’s love?” she asked, properly flippant this time.

“Cynic!” he laughed, but oddly he found that her answer disappointed him. Surely he wasn’t so arrogant as to suppose that she had once loved him?

“Have you?” she asked him tentatively.

“Oh, there have been times in my life when I sensed that I was on the brink of something that other people might describe as love,” he said slowly. “It’s just that I always pulled back!”

“In the nick of time?” she suggested, wondering about Claire and if he was really telling her the truth.

“Yeah. Maybe.” His eyes grew thoughtful. “Maybe,” he repeated. The sun had moved across the sky and shadows fell onto his face, defining the dip of his cheekbones and the darkened curve of his chin. “Now you tell me something, Sasha.” He paused, searching her face for the first flicker of reaction before she had a chance to modify it. “When you wake up each morning, there’s a dreamy little interlude before reality slots into place. Right?”

“Mmm.” She narrowed her eyes, not sure what line he was going to take. “So?”

“So when that happens, and you remember that you’re going to have a baby-my baby-do you groan and turn over and feel trapped? Maybe wish it had never happened?”

Sasha smiled. “I groan, yes-always-and so would you if you woke up to raging heartburn or a feeling of nausea!”

He smiled too.

“As to whether I feel trapped.” She wriggled a bit in her seat as she gave the question some thought. “Sometimes, obviously I do-especially when I think of the sheer commitment of having a baby. And the birth itself, of course. But I asked some of the other mothers in the antenatal group I just joined, and they said they felt exactly the same.” Her eyes softened in response to the question in his.”As to wishing it had never happened; well, it has. Like you once said, you can’t rewrite the past, but…” Her expression grew thoughtful.

“But?” He put in softly, fascinated by the dreamy look on her face.

Sasha shrugged. “It’s funny, really-I mean the logical side of you thinks, Help! But then there’s this soppy side of you that seems to cut right through all the practical objections. So that even though this is never how you would have planned to have a baby, you’re just thinking, Oh, yes, please! I mean, it seems absolutely crazy to me-but I can’t wait!”

“Can’t you?”

“No.” She shook her head as she heard the indulgent note in his voice. “Sad, isn’t it? Some people would say I’m crazy… You know… Getting excited about raising a child on my own.”

He shook his head. “Wrong, Sasha. You’re not alone, and I’m not going anywhere.”

She bit her lip, forcing herself to accept the truth, however unpalatable. “But one day you might. One day you might not pull back from the brink. You might fall in love with a woman who will resent me-and who could blame her? If I were in her shoes I might feel the same about a casual fling who had got herself pregnant!”

“Sasha,” he said patiently. “You’re accepting blame where none is due. The reason you became pregnant is because I failed to use a condom-”

“Don’t!” she wailed. “That makes it even worse. Implying that I had an ”accident”-with all the negative baggage that word brings!”

“And the reason I didn’t use a condom,” he continued inexorably, ignoring her shocked gasp and her rapidly rising color, “was presumably because we had the most-” He drew a breath, not sure where this admission was going to take him. “The most,” he emphasized, “passionate sex I can ever remember… That I completely forgot about using protection.”

There was a short silence. “Honestly?” asked Sasha, her heart pumping like mad, hardly able to meet his eyes.

He noted her use of the word-a word she had used on more than one occasion today. And if he owed her anything it was that.

“Honestly,” he nodded, but then he shut up. Talking about it only made him think about it, and thinking about it didn’t really help him sleep at night.

Sasha tried not to read too much into his words. Just because the sex had been passionate, it didn’t mean any more than that. Nor did she want it to. It was only her wildly fluctuating hormones demanding what nature had determined she should demand. A mate who would love her and provide for their child. Well Kaleb would certainly provide for their child- but that was all she could count on.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, noticing the look on her face.

She felt oddly shy, “Forget it. It’s nothing,”

But as usual, he thought something was wrong with the baby, and he was already reaching for her. “Are you sure?” he asked as he held her hand.

“Yes I’m sure”

He was longing to touch more than her hand…. He wanted to touch her belly, but they had already raked up a lot of emotion today-surely any more would crowd her? He registered all the conflicting emotions he could see on her face. There was fear and uncertainty, joy and disbelief. Heaven knew, he’d experienced them all himself, and a few more besides.

“Sasha,” he said softly.

“Mmm?”Nôvel/Dr(a)ma.Org - Content owner.

“You look tired.”

“I am a bit.”