Xo Novel
33
In that moment she felt really close to him. How peculiar that a simple hug could be infinitely more intimate than full-scale sex. She pulled away- knowing that it was dangerous to attach more than she should to small acts of support.
You’d… better go… and me too. I should leave,”
“Yes.”
But he seemed strangely reluctant to move. “I’ll walk you to your car,”
Silently, Sasha followed him. They walked silently to her car and he opened the door for her. She slipped inside and he stared at her for a while, “Goodnight, Sasha” he said at last.
“When will I see you?” Funny, too, that her new-found ‘condition’ gave her the right to ask questions like this.
“I don’t know,” he told her. “I honestly don’t know.”
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Just as soon as Kaleb had left, Sasha was asking herself why on earth she’d been so passive. She shouldn’t have asked when she was going to see him. She should have demanded to know!
Because things needed to be decided.
Like what official story they were going to give… to people. Most especially Tilly and their parents.
They couldn’t hide it forever. As the pregnancy became more advanced they were going to have to say something. She wouldn’t be able to keep it secret from Tilly and Miriam for much longer either, that was for sure.
The following morning, she was baking scones in the kitchen when Kaleb called. Lately, the sickness seemed to come late-morning, and she found that if she could get the bulk of the food preparation over before that then she was usually free of the horrible, dry retching which made her stomach feel like a deflated balloon afterwards. But this morning the sickness had struck early, and without warning. Sasha wondered if it was the psychological impact of having told Kaleb and consequently not sleeping a wink all night.
She picked the call. “Hello?” she said.
“Why are you out of breath?” demanded the voice at the other end.
“Because pregnant women get easily puffed!”
There was a pause while he considered this. “Will you have dinner with me tonight?”
“Dinner?”
He gave a short laugh. “Is that such a bizarre request in the circumstances, Sasha?” She heard the sarcasm which coloured his voice and understood it immediately. If there had been a time for sounding shocked it should have been when he had arrived at her apartment weeks ago after sending her those flowers, wearing a dark, sultry expression and intent on seduction. Not when he was asking her to share a meal with him as two civilized and consenting adults.
“No, of course it isn’t,” she told him quickly. She was about to utter, I’d love to, but that would have been pure convention, not truth. “Where?”
Another pause. “I thought at my house.”
She bit her lip. “A nice hotel too public for you?”
“Not in the way you’re thinking-” he replied,
“And how the hell would you know what I was thinking, Kaleb?”
He sighed. “If we go to a restaurant, then we’re on show, aren’t we? People watch us, assess us… And I don’t think you want that… At least not now.”
“Assess me, you mean. And how pregnant I am.”
“Sasha,” he said patiently. “Unless you’ve suddenly been diagnosed as expecting triplets I can’t for the life of me see how yesterday your pregnancy was a secret whilst today the whole world would know that secret just by looking at you!”
“Because today I really feel pregnant!” she wailed.
“Probably because you told someone,” he mused. “Anyway, dinner. Come early-is six o’clock okay?”
“I suppose so.” Do you want me to come and pick you up you?”
“No, I think I can probably manage the drive myself. I intend to do a lot of things myself until I’m sure I can’t do them any more,”
“Well, if you’re sure…”
“Kaleb, I’m not an invalid-I told you that before!”
“No,” he agreed. “You’re just having a baby. My baby, in fact,” he finished, with an unfamiliar note of something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. And Sasha wondered whether it had been pride or panic she had heard in his voice.
———–
Sasha always dressed carefully since she found out that she was pregnant, but nothing compared to the agonized deliberations she indulged in once she’d shut up the food truck and sent Miriam home. Dinner with Kaleb in the most bizarre circumstances imaginable-so what did she wear?
The sleek cream dress and matching jacket she had worn that day were immediately rejected as much too formal. Sasha narrowed her eyes at the dress and guessed that it probably wouldn’t do, anyway.
Given her newly expanded waistline, she didn’t really have a lot of choice. Pencil skirts were out, for obvious reasons. So were the narrowly cut trousers she sometimes wore. And what self-destructive little imp had prompted her to think that she might be able to get away with jeans and a big cotton T-shirt?
She couldn’t even get the jeans past her thighs! She was definitely going to have to buy some new clothes to accommodate this baby. In the end she selected a simple silk trouser to match with the shirt. The wide, soft trousers had an elasticated waistband and the slip-over top was cool and roomy. It hid the small swell of her belly and the color made the most of her skin, hair and eyes.
She put on a coat of waterproof mascara and a slick of clear lipgloss, then wove a black velvet ribbon into the French plait in her hair and she was ready.
She drove carefully to Kaleb’s house. It was a balmy evening, the air thick with the scent of roses and the muted sound of a late tennis game somewhere in the distance. Security didn’t ask her any questions this time and just let her drive in. Kaleb opened the door before she had a chance to ring the bell, which she guessed meant that he had been watching out for her-and that pleased her. Not because she thought for a moment that he was mooning over her like a lovesick calf-but because it implied that he was nervous, too. Which would even things up a little. And it wasn’t like Kaleb to be nervous.
He stood in the doorway and looked at her. Despite what he’d said to her on the phone about looking no different he realized that she did look different. How you saw someone depended on what you thought about them.