Beneath the Surface

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November 23, 2011

Still half asleep I roll over and feel someone next to me. I jerk backwards, and slam into the floor as I fall off the bed. That shit hurt like hell! I can see the bed shaking with the force of Lexie’s quiet laughter.

I groan as I sit up slowly, “That really wasn’t funny.” I crawl back into bed and lay on my side facing her.

When we came back from the emergency room last night I came home with her. I didn’t ask permission and she didn’t say anything to stop me. I just got out of my truck and followed her inside her house and upstairs. I didn’t try anything of course. She just got six stitches in the side of her head. The only thing we can figure out that might have happened is the brick hit the back of the couch first and bounced, and then hit her head. Because she didn’t have a concussion, and if it would have hit her without something slowing it down first when it came through that window it would have done more damage than six stitches. I only laid next to her and held her. I wanted to be close in case anything else happened. I’m sure I’ll have to go home tonight though because the boys come home today.

“How are you feeling?”

She smiles at me, “I’m OK. Just a little sore but it isn’t too bad.” she pauses, “Why did you leave like that the other night Jax?”

I sigh. “I guess it’s time we had that conversation huh? When I came over the other night I only came to talk. I didn’t expect that to happen, and I panicked when I lost control like I did. That’s never happened to me before, Losing all control over my actions like that.” I look her in the eyes. “I came over that night to talk to you about us maybe trying to be together and seeing how it went.” Her eyes grow wide, and the surprise is evident all over her face.

“But you don’t even like me.”

I smile at her and grab her hip and pull her closer to me. “Lex, I’m already halfway in love with you. You have occupied all of my thoughts since the day you moved in. I promise you that I do in fact like you very much.” I didn’t think it was possible, but her eyes grow even wider.

“Then why do you always avoid me and act like you hate me?”

I sigh and roll over onto my back and look at the ceiling. “I was married before. I married my high school girlfriend when we were twenty-two. We started dating beginning of junior year. Straight out of high school me, Dillon, and Carson joined the Army. We went to boot camp, and then we were sent overseas. Me and Nicole stayed together through it all. We wrote letters and called when we were able too. When our four years were up, we joined for another four. In between the two I asked Nicole to marry me, and we got married. I’d always wanted a family. Wife and kids to come home too and all that shit. I was home for about six months before I was shipped off again. When my four years were up again I got out. I was home for about two months when Nicole told me she was pregnant. I was ecstatic! I kept thinking about that baby and if it was a boy or a girl and what she or he would be like. What would he/she look like? For three weeks I was on cloud nine. I was finally going to get the family I always wanted. Until the day I came home to find her in bed with my brother, Braden.” I hear Lexie’s gasp but I ignore her and continue. “She admitted that she was almost four months pregnant. So she got pregnant while I was in a different country. My wife was having my little brother’s baby. They’re now married and living in the house that I bought with their three year old little girl.” I turn back towards her and see the sadness in her eyes. “I swore that I would never be with another woman again. Not sexually or emotionally. I kept that promise to myself, until you. When we pulled up and I saw you in the yard I immediately wanted you, and it pissed me off that you were messing with my head. That is why I avoided you, and always seemed pissed at you. I’m sorry, Lex. It never had anything to do with you. It was always about my past”

“What made you change your mind?”

“Brett. He had a talk with me the other day, and he made me realize that I could be missing out on something very special because I was holding onto the past. I’ve been slowly growing feelings for you over the months while I tried to stay away from you as much as possible. I was just hurting myself by staying away. The reward outweighs the risk. I was still scared but willing to try the other night when I came to talk to you, but I’m not scared anymore Lexie. I want to be with you. I want to be around you and the boys. I want to be a part of your lives.”

She scoot closer to me until we are pressed together and wraps her arms around me. I wrap my arms around her and pull her as close to me as I can get her. She whispers into my chest, “I am so sorry that that happened to you Jax.” I bury my nose in her hair. This is the first time I’ve been close enough to her to smell her hair except when we had sex and I had much different things on my mind then than the smell of her hair. It smells like vanilla, and my dick stirs. “Time to get up.” I bounce up out of the bed and head for the bathroom to get control of myself.

Later that day after Shawn and Tyler left to head back home me and Lexie sit on the couch watching TV. I have my arm wrapped around her, and all the sudden she pulls away and turns towards me. “Can you teach me how to shoot?”

“Your brother is a cop. He didn’t teach you?”

“He tried years ago, but I didn’t think I needed to know, and after the attack I was a little busy recovering. Will you teach me?”

“Sure, I’ll take you to the shooting range tomorrow. After you learn, we can go and buy you your own gun and get you a permit so you can carry it everywhere.”

She leans up and kisses me on the cheek, “Thank you!” I smile at her.