Alpha Noah

~Abella

I didn’t believe him.

You can’t just have two mates. If it happens, it’s extremely rare to the point where people don’t come out to be honest with people about their mates, knowing curiosity would drive anyone to crazy lengths to find out how they could get a second mate themselves. In my life, as short as it has been, I’ve never known, or heard of anyone who has had a second mate.

It simply… doesn’t happen. So as I stare into Noah’s earnest gaze, I’m stunned. I can’t believe it, and most importantly, I don’t want to believe it. I don’t want to accept the deception from both Cian and Noah.

“I don’t understand,” is all I manage to choke out. I’m hoping that grim expression will erupt into laughter, at his disbelief that I would believe such a ridiculous claim.

But he remains solemn.

“We wanted to tell you, but we promised each other we would stay out of your life, to avoid conflict, and to put such a difficult decision on you. I hope you understand,” Noah says warily, observing my expression carefully, as if he knows I’m about to explode.

Despite the fire in the room, my skin is ice cold. I don’t stare at the marking on his wrist, but at the skin beneath it. Just one touch and I could determine that we are mates. But like with Cian, I’m scared. I don’t want to know if I’m his mate, because if I am, I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t know if I can handle two mates.

“You both decided what was good for me, then?” I say sourly. Noah blinks a few times, swallowing uncomfortably. Here I was, living my life, with them both knowing my fate before I did.

I might be sick…

“We decided that because Cian is a Sin, and I’m this Demon like creature, it would be better not to tell you. We had a contract, too, but Cian broke it, knowing there isn’t much I could do,” Noah tells me. He’s not trying to blame Cian, but it clearly bothers him. It bothers me too, but that’s something I’ll speak to him later about.

“I don’t want two mates,” I breathe covering my face with my hands.

“I don’t blame you. Anything you want to do, you can. Choose Cian, I completely understand, or don’t choose either of us. Just know you don’t owe us anything,” Noah assures me. I’m not sure if that should make me feel better or not.

Getting to my feet, I rub my arms. I should touch him. I should touch his bare skin and confirm that we are mates, instead of just believing him.

But in reality, I know he wouldn’t lie to me about this.

“I need to speak to Cian,” I mutter, mainly to myself. I’m pacing, at this point, already wondering how I’m going to approach him with this. Noah gets to his feet, looking anxious.

“No, why don’t you stay here and I’ll talk you through things. Cian might not react the way you want him to,” Noah reminds me. I shake my head at him. As much as I would like to stay behind and try to wrap my head around it all, with the calming, understanding tone from Noah, I need to confront Cian. What else has he been hiding from me?

“I’m sorry Noah. But Cian need to explain himself to,” I tell him.

Noah takes a deep breath, shuddering. “Do you not like me? Does the idea of being with me upset you so much you have to leave? Because if that’s the truth, that’s okay. But would you not consider giving me a chance? Because nothing would make me happier than having a mate.”

It practically broke my heart hearing him say that, like he doubts I want anything to do with him. In all honesty, I’ve felt things for Noah I thought I was wrong for fearing. Turns out, it was the mate-bond in effect, but that doesn’t make me feel any less guilty. As much as I want to stay, by this fire, I have to leave. It tugs at my heart, but I don’t just have Noah to deal with, but Cian to.

I stop myself from my near attempt to grab his hand, to comfort him. “Trust me, it’s not like that. Why don’t we talk about this later.”

Noah notes reluctantly. “Okay. But don’t always feel like you can trust Cian. Because you can’t.”

***Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

Cian responding to my calls almost immediately, almost like he was waiting.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, fingers knotted in front of me, I flinch as he walks straight in through my door. His name had just slipped past my lips, a call enough to summon him from whatever immortal realm he came from. As he entered, the door slammed against the wall in his wake, an expression of both confusion, and maybe sadness painted across his face.

“You finally realised you should be spending time with your mate instead of-“

“I know Noah is my mate as well.”

Cian’s expression melts away completely, leaving nothing but a vacant, confused look. Even his stature deflates, the words once on his lips now having died away. He knows there is no possible excuse he could muster that would explain away the mate bond between Noah and I, even if I haven’t confirmed it with him.

His confusion quickly morphs into a flicker of anger. “He told you, did he? What else did he tell you?”

“He told me you both wanted to keep it from me for my safety, because you cared about me. He then told me you broke the promise between you two that I would never find out by either of your hand,” I admit. I’m trying to be calm, to not get angry. But I can’t wrap my head around why Cian would break the agreement, especially in the way that he did. I know we are mates, but he’s immortal… was it really that hard to stay away from me?

Cian turns around, pacing across my room with his hands delved through his hair. I was the glimmer of gold as if falls past his fingertips, such a strange, immortal trait. I don’t hate Cian for this, I’m just confused and bothered that I went this whole time without knowing. Not to mentioned the idea of having two mates is… terrifying.

“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. I was going to tell you eventually, but I needed to make sure Noah wasn’t going to pull the trigger. Guess he proved to me exactly what he is capable of,” Cian mutters.

I frown. “He had to tell me. I mean, him and I are connected, even in a way you and I are not. We are of the same… being. I don’t know how many other Demon people are out there.”

Cian sighs. “I know.”

“But right now, I’m upset at both of you, and I’m not sure exactly what I need to decide. I can’t have two mates, and there is no way you or Noah is going to want to deal with each other for the rest of our lives… especially when the rest of our lives could be for a long time,” I tell him. Cian’s face immediately morphs into one of anger, confirming that there is no way he will share me with Noah.

Suddenly he’s on his knees in front of me, placing his hands beside me on the bed. “Come with me. Come with me far away, we don’t have to worry about any of this for awhile. Just you and me. It will make it easier for you to make your decision, if you have to make it.”

I’m stunned, unsure of what to say for a moment. His offer is out of desperation, as if he has suspected the way I’ve felt for Noah recently, and is frightened I’m going to choose him instead.

I don’t know what I’m going to do.

“I can’t leave without speaking to Noah properly. I left him stunned to come here and see you. I wanted you to know how mad I am at you, but also, I wanted to know why you lied to me,” I tell him. I can only imagine what Noah is thinking back at his estate, knowing I left him to come see Cian. I hate myself for it, but I had no other choice. I needed to speak to Cian…

Cian grabs my hands tightly. “Because I’m a Sin. I’m Greed, and I needed you to myself, because everyone loves Noah. They love him because they don’t know all his dark secrets. For once I want something for myself… a mate.”

My heart practically stutters at his words, but he keeps speaking.

“If you choose me, we can separate your bond from Noah. Then you can be just me,” Cian says, my eyes widening in response. “I can get the Gaze Reader right now.”