You were late
LAURA
“What?”
After what had felt like ages of holding on to each other as if we’d both needed to feel grounded after the earth-shattering sex we’d had, Alex and I had finally managed to drag ourselves out of the restroom. There’d been a knowing look in the waiter’s eyes when she’d come to take our order but she’d been very professional. I was straightening my top when I’d felt the heat of eyes on me and had looked up to find Alex staring at me.
“You were late,” he stated, serious as a heart attack.
“I was stuck in traffic.” We’d skipped everything-greetings, talk and food-and gone straight to fucking because I’d been so hot for him, and I’d completely forgot that I was late. I guess we were going to talk about it now.
“I offered to come get you.”
Traffic was traffic. What difference would it have made?
“Would you have preferred it if we’d both been stuck in traffic?” I asked sarcastically.
He blinked. “Yes.”
It was my turn to blink. “I don’t see how-”
“I’d pick sitting with you in my car doing nothing over waiting in this restaurant worrying that something had happened to you or that you’d changed your mind and decided not to come after all-” He lifted a finger when I tried to cut him off. “We both know what it took to get you to come here. I couldn’t be too sure.”
I rolled my eyes, conceding silently that he was right while ignoring the weird flutter in my stomach. If he started saying those shitty, could-be-considered-romantic things to me, I was going to flip. I had zero defence against them, especially now that we’d just had mind-blowing sex and my insides were still a gooey mess, my brain pretty much fried.
Recently, I’d found out that I wasn’t as unaffected by ‘romantic’ words as I thought I’d been. It had taken little admissions here and there to get me to realise that I was not just affected by the words, I might also like them. And that right there was the problem.
You’re so beautiful it hurts to look at you sometimes.
You have no idea what your eyes do to me.
Being someone that received compliments about my eyes a lot, it wasn’t news to me that they were a striking shade of grey-as my mother’s had been before they’d been overtaken by darkness-so I’d never thought it a big deal. It had taken Alex talking about them to get me to pay them more attention, and it would take a gun to the head to get me to admit that I’d applied eye-liner to make them pop more just because of him. I’d already admitted that I picked out this outfit with him in mind-but I’d been in the throes of passion. Now, I had my wits about me.
I cut a piece of steak and shoved it into my mouth, chewing carefully before swallowing. Had to give it to them; the steak was divine.Belonging to NôvelDrama.Org.
“What have you been up to these past few days?”
When he didn’t answer, I lifted my head and found him watching me with a puzzled look in his eyes, frown lines appearing between his brows.
“Why do you do that?”
“Eat? It’s something we have to do to stay alive.”
The glare he gave me told me that he knew what I was doing-that I was deliberately being obtuse, and he wasn’t buying it. “Why do you try to change the topic whenever the conversation gets too deep for you?”
All humour evaporated from my body and my face shuttered as I leaned back a little, trying to withdraw physically as I had emotionally from this conversation. “I wasn’t trying to change the topic.”
“You know how I feel about your lies, Laura,” Alex warned, his face tightening into a scowl that told me he was not going to let this go. “Anything but them.”
My fork clattered to my plate as I reached for my glass, taking a much needed sip of wine because my throat suddenly felt parched. I could attempt to change the conversation-again-or try to distract him with a little footsie under the table but right now, with that ruthless scowl on his face, my efforts might just equate trying to lift an elephant with a single finger. Laughably futile.
I’d never thought Alex capable of violence or anything extreme before. I’d never pictured him as someone dangerous, but I was wrong. I was very wrong.
Underneath the gorgeous face and amazing build, was a man with a tightly leashed control who could be very dangerous if he wanted to be. I could see it now as I stared into his eyes. His steely gaze met mind head-on and it was right there in that restaurant, that I had a moment of clarity.
Alex had simply been letting me off the hook all this while. It wasn’t like he couldn’t push-he’d just been letting me get away with it. Meanwhile, I’d been applauding myself, thinking I was smart.
My breaths started growing shallow with anxiety at the thought of having to talk-actually talk-about my feelings. I could lie, I could…shit, detach myself from this conversation mentally and just see it through but Alex, damn him, was watching me intently, gauging every single shift in my facial expression like he could see into my soul. Like he could read my thoughts and could tell what I was contemplating doing.
Ugh.
“You already said it,” I said after a while, deciding to be honest after all. “It gets too deep.” Then clarifying further, I said, “For me.”
His expression didn’t waver but I thought I caught a hint of surprise in his eyes. Like he was surprised I’d actually admitted to it and happy about the fact. But other than that, his face remained a blank, impenetrable mask. “I know. What I’m asking is why you do it.”
My shoulders rose defensively. “What do you mean why?” The words came out snappy. I made deliberate effort to calm myself. “I already told you-”
“There’s no need to get defensive, Laura.” Alex cut me off, his tone, calm, patient, unwavering. “I don’t want us to fight. I just want to know why you do it. I don’t promise to understand and it probably might not make sense to me, but I’ll accept and respect it.”
I stared at him, my mouth slightly parted in a mix between awe and surprise. I was floored. Was he real? How could I even be mad at him for forcing this conversation on me when he was being so sweet about it?
This conversation was frustrating as hell but at the same time, I couldn’t get mad at him. Why did Alex have to make everything so bloody hard?
My eyes darted to the side. Was I about to tell him why I was so averse to relationships? Why I couldn’t stand the mere idea of commitment? Was I about to tell him a story that would change how he saw me?
Was I about to intentionally make myself miserable?
Dread pooled in my stomach as I opened my mouth to speak. Nothing came out. I swallowed and tried again. “I-” God, was I really going to do this? “I’m scared of co-”
“Alex!” A shrill voice rang out, causing me to stop mid-sentence. “I knew it was you!”
Saved from what would have been without a doubt the most uncomfortable conversation I’d ever had, I exhaled shakily and reached for my glass, damn near downing the entire thing.
The source of the noise, I realised when I looked up, was a beautiful blonde woman wearing a wide smile-and she was walking over to us. I frowned when I saw that the smile was directed at Alex, who was staring back at her with shock written all over his features. And that was when it dawned on me that it was his name she’d screamed that had distracted me.
A young man followed closely behind her and when she reached our table, he hung behind her, throwing me a smile smile. I was too confused to return it, but he didn’t seem offended.
“When I came in and took one look at you, I just knew it had to be you,” the blonde said, grinning wide. She was very beautiful, wearing a green sheath gown that complimented her lightly tan skin. “You haven’t changed much, I must say.”
“Neither have you, Claire.” Alex’s smile looked forced but I couldn’t be sure because he obviously knew her.
She looked ecstatic to see him. They must have known each other quite well.
I suspected how well but decided not to go there for my own sanity.
Claire gestured to the man standing behind her, who now walked up to stand beside her now that he’d been acknowledged. “This is Dave, my fiancé. Dave, this is Alex. Mind if we join you?”
Alex and Dave shook hands. While a part of me was relieved they wanted to join us and that would make it impossible for Alex and I to continue our conversation, another part wanted them to take the furthest table away from us, on the other side of the restaurant.
I waited for Alex to take the lead because he was the one she’d asked, not me. I even doubted she knew there was someone else at the table. She hadn’t looked my way once. I might as well have been invisible.
Annoying as it was, I couldn’t blame her for not being able to pull her eyes away from him. He’s gorgeous after all.
“Uh…” Green eyes flitted to me briefly and he seemed to wait for something. I stared at him blankly. “Yeah, sure,” he said eventually.
As Claire and her fiancé proceeded to seat, I noticed how she placed her chair a tad closer to Alex than was necessary. Dave sat to my right, his smile pleasant and friendly.
“Meet Laura, my date,” Alex gestured to me when they’d both taken their seats.
Claire finally turned to me for the first time since she’d arrived at the table and assessed me with a cool blue gaze. Done looking her fill, she turned away, but not before I caught something in her eyes. I just wasn’t sure what.
Was I reading too much into things?
She gave me a small smile and I returned it with a nod. She didn’t extend her hand to me for a handshake and neither did I. I wasn’t one to bullshit people.
“Alex,” she began again, placing her elbow on the table and dropping her chin on her palm as she turned to give Alex her full attention. “Don’t you think it’s just absolutely amazing that we meet here after years of not seeing each other? It has to be fate.”
I couldn’t hold back the eye-roll even if I’d tried. Bitch, please.
“How do you know each other?” Her fiancé asked, that damn pleasant smile still on his face.
The way Claire perked up told me that she’d been waiting for that question. She looked at me-me, not her fiancé who had asked the question-when she said, “Actually, Alex and I dated in uni.”
The silence that followed her admission was deafening.
My eyes would have popped out of their sockets if I didn’t already know that was exactly what she wanted. So I schooled my features into a neutral mask and did the next best thing.
I grabbed my drink and tossed what remained of it into the back of my throat.
My reality was shit; I was going to have to endure dinner with Alex’s mean ex who apparently, was out for my blood.
I needed more wine.